Blame yourself not your neighborhood. At each encounter, I bet you could find a way to break the ice and change the tone, friendliness is contageous. I used to be the same way, sometimes I still am, but I met someone that lead by example and changed my way of approaching people. My friend (we will call him “j”), worked for me for a time and he approached every human encounter as if he was going to have his life judged somehow on this interaction alone. We worked together in a town that neither of us had ever lived or worked in but within a year, he knew the name and life story of every waitress, bank teller, grocery employee that we came into contact with during lunch. In the beginning it was annoying, it would take forever to run any errands together, I would complain that it must take him four hours to get a haircut because he would have to look at every employee’s vacation photos and meet their kids. He didn’t do it when he needed something, he did it constantly, with anyone and everyone, he couldn’t help it, his mother never told him to not talk to strangers. J lives in a modest older neighborhood in an East county town and he has made it the friendliest street around. He knew everyones name, where they worked and probably knew what they didn’t get for Christmas in 1979. Because they all talked to him and he talked about them to each other, they got to know each other. My time with J caused me to reflect and change how I dealt with people, before I had only talked to women I found attractive or people that I needed something from or admired in some way. J taught me that everyone has a story to tell and despite their initial resistance, everyone wants a friend. J would also take his time off work only when neighbors needed him, if someone broke a leg, J mowed their lawn, if someone was sick, J made them dinner. I’m no “J” but I’m working on it, I wish everyone could have spent years around him but if you look close I bet everyone has a friend like J, someone who makes friends in line at the DMV. Pay attention and try to be like them, if your neighborhood doesn’t have one, then it’s your chance to step up and be J in your hood.
I got to thinking about it because the meet and greet is less than 48 hours away and I plan on talking to everyone who will listen and a few that wont, I gotta break out my best “J.”
Mark Twain said it best “Live your life in such a way that when you die, even the undertaker will be sorry.”
I have no doubt that if I outlive J, while I am standing graveside at his funeral, I will look over and the guys with the shovels will have tears in their eyes as well because he probably knows them too.
