For what it is worth, do what will cause you to feel safe and relaxed in this moment. Your high bp could be a result of pointing a loaded gun of perfection and ideals about success at your head and then working as if that gun could go off at any second.

It feels to me as if you are not happy, in this moment. Therefore you are not providing the kind of environment you wish to give your kids that will help them to feel confident and secure within themselves.

I wish you the best on your search for peace.

Meditation, yoga, being in nature, all of those things and many more are excellent antidotes to your high bp (and yes I am aware that I am talking with a doctor 🙂 ). If you are not able to enjoy life, but instead treat life as if it is some kind of game you have to win, you will not find the answers you need for yourself. Let go of needing to win and be happy.