I convinced one of my friend to buy an acura mdx. They’re doing roughly $8k of msrp ($2k of invoice). The last generaton’s model resale has plumetted, partly due to SUV sales AND because of the model redesign. My wife + 2 infant sits in one, and can get about 20mpg out of it both city and highway combined. If you want something not as luxurious but functionally the same, Honda Pilot (although I’m not a fan of the recent boxy styling).
If you feel you must get an SUV, you can also try to get a hold of the Ford Escape hybrid and Saturn Vue Greenline roughly 32 mpg respectively. Neighbor has one, and says great things about it (Escape H)
Toyota charges an arm and leg for hybrids the Prius and Highlander, and frankly it’s not really cost effective, especially the Highlander. I’ve never been a fan of the Lexus 400h hybrid, or any of the Lexus SUV err, rebadged toyota highlander, with a huge markup.