[quote=scaredyclassic]toss your tv in the garbage.

not less soda. no soda. fuck soda. fuck that whole soda industry. fucking EVIL.

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Totally agree with scaredy on this.

[quote=CDMA ENG]

Let me give an example… I am expecting my first born within the next 30 days. Because of that I know within the next 18 months I need to start changing my ways. I need to start drinking less soda… Stop playing any significant amount of video games… Watch less TV… Why? Because I didn’t want my child to develop these bad habits or use me as excuse to indulge in certain behaviors.

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You probably have it nailed as far as what will happen, but not the why. You won’t be influencing your child’s habits for at least the first year or two by playing video games. The reason you’ll give most of this stuff up is that you don’t want to be a dick of a partner. The one thing that shocked me when my kids were born is how damn time consuming they are. They suck up just about every available minute. Even when they’re sleeping.

Congratulations. I hope your experience matches mine, and your kids are the most fulfilling thing that ever happens to you.

[quote=scaredyclassic]
In this vein I’d submit that being in very good physical condition really helps. Never too late. Speed agility strength endurance all useful.[/quote]

And the at least temporary disabling of your gag reflex would be helpful.

I agree that kids will suck up all your time…When they are awake, you really won’t have time for much else since they will want your attention so you can’t tell them to read a book and leave me alone…

That said, like someone else said, the 1st 2 years, you probably can play games or watch TV…I’d say to really enjoy it since you won’t get to do it as much after they are older and if it’s an activity you enjoy, do it as much as you can now.

After that, you have to decide what you want your life to be like (all for the kids, give up everything?).

I don’t think it matters as much what the dad does. Like my parents never used computers and we did growing up. Also, I’m sure Facebook, Apple, Microsoft, you name any tech company would’ve NEVER been started if the founders weren’t allowed to play with computers early and play games early so is it really that bad? Just monitor use and don’t let the kid EVER get it in their head that they can say no or they set the rules. I’ve seen a lot of other kids not so well disciplined and are wild outside. Most likely, they “won” some early battles and do as they please. Remember that letting a kid do whatever they want ISN’T helping them at all actually. I know a kid who is allowed ice cream for breakfast…

I’ve also heard/seen cousins which supposedly was led by a tiger mom and weren’t allowed any TV time at all, last time we saw them to eat lunch, the kids had both their eyes glued to either an ipad or a gamepad…throughout the whole lunch…not sure how good that worked out.

I don’t know how effective it is if you have to work and are already worn out (pick your battles)…especially if all their friends/other family cousins have these toys/phones so I’d just set boundaries/guidelines/time restrictions, etc…was never a fan of banning it all since that doesn’t each people how to manage their own time/money/what’s too much, etc…It’s better if they learn how to do it at a younger age.

Another point not discussed so far is we don’t hit our kids since studies supposedly show hitting doesn’t help…I got hit plenty…no wonder I’m so screwed up…so maybe they are right…

congrats and good luck! Life is forever changed and over with kids and your time is all gone now.

studies also consistently show that parents with kids are not as happy as married couples without…I don’t disagree with this, but like many things in life, it’s not just about being the happiest I guess and if we wanted that life experience (which can’t be described if you don’t have kids), just do it and live with it…I’m sure the relationship with the spouse forever changes as well.

Congrats!….

Going to echo what SK said about giving up video games because your partner will need you more…forget about the kid.

As a wife and mother, there is nothing in the world that is more endearing than a husband who focuses on the mom so that she can focus on the kid (especially if she’s nursing, etc.). Her body is shot. Her hormones are rushing through her and her body is trying to heal from one of the hardest things it will ever do, all at a time when this new little person will be most demanding. She’ll feel unsexy, unwanted, tired beyond belief, and overwhelmed. If you take the time to make this first year as easy as possible for her (and make her feel sexy and loved, no matter what she looks like), you will be richly rewarded for the rest of your life. Screw it up by playing video games, watching hours of TV, ignoring her, going out with “the boys” while she’s stuck at home, not being helpful, and telling her that she is anything less than the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life…and you will be paying for it for the rest of your life. The greatest gift you can give to your kid is a healthy, happy marriage and a warm, loving home. Focus on your marriage/wife, and the rest will fall into place.

Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but think this is so important, I’m willing to have you hate me for it. 😉

Concur with others on the board.

We gave up everything not kid related for like 15 years. Not a conscience decision, there was simply no time! We had to rediscover hobbies once they had their own drivers licenses.

There wasn’t even any alcohol in the house during that period…for two reasons basically…(1) no time to drink it…(2) even if we miraculously found time when they were sleeping at night, we needed to have a clear mind at all times in case a problem arose while they slept.

We also found that when they were asleep, that was our time to take care of the backlog of chores we had no time for while they were awake.

Kids sound limiting and time consuming and they are. But they bring so much joy that we didn’t ever wish for the pre-kid days…we just enjoyed them while we had them…