TemeculaGuy, are you calling me a “dirtbag”? That’s not very sporting of you. Besides, it should really be “dirt-baguette.”

I think you should find a nice girl to help you paint, garden and decorate your future digs. You could always use a hose to spray your 4000 sf lot with green-colored paint. The ultimate xeriscaping….

A stable, feminine presence will also minimize your chances of becoming ‘Weird Single Guy’ – and save you from excessive cigar smoking and too much time spent with your hose.