Ok, I’ve decided I’m an idiot with my funds and need help.

Preferably someone who has some handle on the fact that the economy is not doing so well and that Alt-As and Option Arms are coming due and what that will do.

I’ve spoken to several CPAs, but they were not really versed in more what I felt were the basics, and very little to offer in terms of protecting my assets through what might be a tough time coming up.

I’ll take PMs if you’re worried about cracking some rule I may not have noticed. 🙂

Questions like:

1. Where do I stash my 401K so that it’s still worth something if the big downleg is coming as many are predicting?
2. My house is 90-150K underwater, over and above the equity I *had*, depending on which site I use (50% according to some). Now what? Why and why not?
3. I want to be able to retire some day, preferably before I’m 70. What changes should I be making now to be ready to do that?
4. I have a bonus coming (maybe!). Should I pay down debt or sit on it? And where should I put it to protect it?
5. etc, etc, etc.

TIA!