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  • February 21, 2009 at 10:04 AM #15124
    Happs
    Participant

    It seems as if neighborliness in the San Diego area has become extinct. I live in a small gated community with an HOA and pretty much no one except the board members know each other. When you walk or drive through the neighborhood, people act awkwardly or startled if you say hello or wave. It’s common for people not to know their neighbor’s names and when a car enters a garage, the door goes down immediately. The board minutes mention neighbors complaining to the board about petty things, like a satellite dish mounted to the side of the house, a statue in front of someone’s front door, people socializing on lounge chairs in the driveway, and people trimming plants on their own in the common area in front of their house.

    When I walk out of the complex, it seems like an extension of behind the gate. People pushing strollers and two or three people walking who refuse to move on the sidewalk to let you by only to be offended when you point out their rudeness. Dog walkers who don’t move their dogs out of the way or reign in the leash when you are walking by. If I am walking straight ahead, please move your dog to the side. Why should I have to move onto the road? It’s unpleasant when walking by to have a dog move towards you. You have no idea if it will bite or not.

    February 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM #351231
    NotCranky
    Participant

    Maybe too many people move to gated communities and other “safe” areas because they don’t know how to interract or have confidence in neighborliness. I found people in the hood or other eclectic neighborhoods to be much more friendly despite the variety.Problem is you have the other extremes often too. I choose to risk some problems and be able to relate to/with a good portion of my neighbors in friendly ways.

    February 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM #351543
    NotCranky
    Participant

    Maybe too many people move to gated communities and other “safe” areas because they don’t know how to interract or have confidence in neighborliness. I found people in the hood or other eclectic neighborhoods to be much more friendly despite the variety.Problem is you have the other extremes often too. I choose to risk some problems and be able to relate to/with a good portion of my neighbors in friendly ways.

    February 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM #351671
    NotCranky
    Participant

    Maybe too many people move to gated communities and other “safe” areas because they don’t know how to interract or have confidence in neighborliness. I found people in the hood or other eclectic neighborhoods to be much more friendly despite the variety.Problem is you have the other extremes often too. I choose to risk some problems and be able to relate to/with a good portion of my neighbors in friendly ways.

    February 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM #351704
    NotCranky
    Participant

    Maybe too many people move to gated communities and other “safe” areas because they don’t know how to interract or have confidence in neighborliness. I found people in the hood or other eclectic neighborhoods to be much more friendly despite the variety.Problem is you have the other extremes often too. I choose to risk some problems and be able to relate to/with a good portion of my neighbors in friendly ways.

    February 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM #351803
    NotCranky
    Participant

    Maybe too many people move to gated communities and other “safe” areas because they don’t know how to interract or have confidence in neighborliness. I found people in the hood or other eclectic neighborhoods to be much more friendly despite the variety.Problem is you have the other extremes often too. I choose to risk some problems and be able to relate to/with a good portion of my neighbors in friendly ways.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM #351306
    jpinpb
    Participant

    I think you’re right, Russell. I would almost say that people in gated communities are on the verge of being anti-social or at minimum inept.

    We jolted the old complex I lived in. S/O did a lot of work in the garage and got to know all the neighbors and people stopped by and talked. It was like a front porch. And up until then, people didn’t know one another, much less talked to them.

    Now if you can believe this, someone kept complaining to the board about our garage being opened b/c it violated the CC&Rs.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer puts photos and names up of everybody in the lobby to try to make things more social and it backfired on Jerry.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM #351619
    jpinpb
    Participant

    I think you’re right, Russell. I would almost say that people in gated communities are on the verge of being anti-social or at minimum inept.

    We jolted the old complex I lived in. S/O did a lot of work in the garage and got to know all the neighbors and people stopped by and talked. It was like a front porch. And up until then, people didn’t know one another, much less talked to them.

    Now if you can believe this, someone kept complaining to the board about our garage being opened b/c it violated the CC&Rs.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer puts photos and names up of everybody in the lobby to try to make things more social and it backfired on Jerry.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM #351745
    jpinpb
    Participant

    I think you’re right, Russell. I would almost say that people in gated communities are on the verge of being anti-social or at minimum inept.

    We jolted the old complex I lived in. S/O did a lot of work in the garage and got to know all the neighbors and people stopped by and talked. It was like a front porch. And up until then, people didn’t know one another, much less talked to them.

    Now if you can believe this, someone kept complaining to the board about our garage being opened b/c it violated the CC&Rs.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer puts photos and names up of everybody in the lobby to try to make things more social and it backfired on Jerry.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM #351779
    jpinpb
    Participant

    I think you’re right, Russell. I would almost say that people in gated communities are on the verge of being anti-social or at minimum inept.

    We jolted the old complex I lived in. S/O did a lot of work in the garage and got to know all the neighbors and people stopped by and talked. It was like a front porch. And up until then, people didn’t know one another, much less talked to them.

    Now if you can believe this, someone kept complaining to the board about our garage being opened b/c it violated the CC&Rs.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer puts photos and names up of everybody in the lobby to try to make things more social and it backfired on Jerry.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM #351878
    jpinpb
    Participant

    I think you’re right, Russell. I would almost say that people in gated communities are on the verge of being anti-social or at minimum inept.

    We jolted the old complex I lived in. S/O did a lot of work in the garage and got to know all the neighbors and people stopped by and talked. It was like a front porch. And up until then, people didn’t know one another, much less talked to them.

    Now if you can believe this, someone kept complaining to the board about our garage being opened b/c it violated the CC&Rs.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer puts photos and names up of everybody in the lobby to try to make things more social and it backfired on Jerry.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:06 PM #351311
    scaredyclassic
    Participant

    other people sometimes suck.

    neighbors in general are a bad idea.

    “good fences make good neighbors” or something liek that.

    this topic came up in bicycling chat group; cyclists used to wave at one another; now they usuallyd ont.

    we dont trust each other.

    we dont want anyone asking s for help.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:06 PM #351624
    scaredyclassic
    Participant

    other people sometimes suck.

    neighbors in general are a bad idea.

    “good fences make good neighbors” or something liek that.

    this topic came up in bicycling chat group; cyclists used to wave at one another; now they usuallyd ont.

    we dont trust each other.

    we dont want anyone asking s for help.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:06 PM #351751
    scaredyclassic
    Participant

    other people sometimes suck.

    neighbors in general are a bad idea.

    “good fences make good neighbors” or something liek that.

    this topic came up in bicycling chat group; cyclists used to wave at one another; now they usuallyd ont.

    we dont trust each other.

    we dont want anyone asking s for help.

    February 21, 2009 at 1:06 PM #351784
    scaredyclassic
    Participant

    other people sometimes suck.

    neighbors in general are a bad idea.

    “good fences make good neighbors” or something liek that.

    this topic came up in bicycling chat group; cyclists used to wave at one another; now they usuallyd ont.

    we dont trust each other.

    we dont want anyone asking s for help.

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