I a little curious about what all the things you consider HOA relevant, Marion. I agree with you on several (greasy stains, I suppose, trash bags on the side of the house, presuming they are visible from the street, etc.) But what do HOA fees have to do with regular trash in the recyclables, and her son talking to the trash collector? How does that behavior impact anyone around her at all? Also, complaining about a totaled car being in the drive-way for “several days” seems a bit unkind. It’s not as if it was there for months. And foster kids? Do HOAs regulated foster care?

The neighbor sounds a little low-brow, and there are certainly annoyances (loud music late at night is pretty irritating), but I don’t see how some of this is HOA related. Perhaps you just need a pricey enough place to keep out the riff-raff.