Marion, you’ll never win this argument and quite frankly you don’t want to. There are two kinds of people in the world, HOA and non HOA people. Think of it as a religion, you can’t talk people out of one and you are probably better off not talking people into one, let them find their own way. From your posts, you need an HOA, so realize it and find peace in that realization. The trouble exists when people don’t realize what group they are in and buy a home in the wrong group. Your neighbor might be considered the neighbor of the year in another place, hailed for her ingenuity in trash collection tactics, it’s all relative. Her self image was flawed and she bought where there were rules against things she considers normal. Don’t make the reverse mistake and buy where there aren’t any rules or you will be forever unhappy. If you really want to avoid getting a bad neighbor, don’t buy new, buy resale where there is a strong HOA and you can see what your new neighbors homes look like after they have lived in them a few years. Another tactic is to knock on the doors of the neighbors houses before making an offer under the guise of just wanting to know what they think of the house you are considering. Rather than make everyone behave as you would like, find the place where they already do and live there, it’s so much easier.