[zzz]

I believe that money management is partially related to personality and analytical thinking skills, and the other to values that are instilled in you at a very very early age. Not everyone posesses them to the same degree. Some people who are quite bright never learn, even though they have the capacity. Money management is just not their fortay. They might be brilliant in splicing DNA, but not in managing money. Its not to say you can’t be taught those skills, its just going to be harder and take longer to stick. I don’t think you can wait until their in junior high, HS or college to teach them about money. Their values and opinions get formed much early on. Sure we can teach them at that age to reinforce what they already know, but I think it needs to start much younger.

Much of how you approach finances is what you learn from your parents – either you want to emulate or you want to be nothing like them as other posters have mentioned.

My father was terrible at money management and even after financial ruin, I don’t think he’s quite learned his lesson. The kicker is that my father was a mathematics and accounting major. Some people live in the now and enjoy what they can. They don’t really understand delayed gratification for a larger cause. My father no matter how much education or explaining you do for him, he will never be able to strategize on managing money. My father didn’t grow up with a lot of money. They were very middle class. My mother on the other hand grew up with a lot of money. Neither of them were taught about managing money. My father is a spender, my mother is a saver. What’s the diference if neither of them were taught?

Hence why I think its partially personality. My sibling is someone who’s a lot like my father. Didn’t believe in large part in delayed gratification. She’s Target rich. She goes into Target to buy toilet paper, but comes out buying $200 worth of knick knacks. She’ll surely tire of these home decorations, or whatever else she bought in a year or 2. Rinse and repeat. She always wondered how I had more money than she did even though I was younger. She still wonders to this day.

I grew up watching my parents fight about money. I opened my first savings account in 4th grade with my father on the account. I managed to save $3000+ by the time I was 12. Every time I got money for my birthday or holidays, I banked it. Sadly, my father needed the money so he drained my account. That was a harsh lesson. I realized NEVER to rely on anyone for your financial independence because reality was, I couldn’t. While I was probably scarred by the behaviour, I knew I was going to have to take care of myself. My sister never had any money as a kid, in college, or many many years out of college. She thought I was a superficial bitch because I was very focused on my career and always negotiated my salary. I couldn’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t negotiate a salary. It wasnt until her later years when she finally realized no one was going to come in and take care of her financially. If she wanted a house, she was going to have to buy it for herself. The moral of the story, I think you learn these things early on, either by parents who lead by example or conversely what not to do. The rest is left up to personality as my sister and I did very divergent things most of our lives and still have very different approaches to money.

I hear friends talk about how their kids will only eat pizza or mac & cheese. I think its the parent’s role to determine what’s best for a child. A 5 year old shouldn’t be given a choice on what to eat. They don’t get to choose that they want to eat pizza every day. Eventually, a kid will choose to eat what you put in front of them whether they like it or not. Likewise, kids shouldn’t believe they have a choice in how much you’re going to spend on jeans because they badger you or negotiate. My sister learned from an early age that if she cried enough and threw enough fits, my father would buy her the toys. My mother once made them leave a toy store, only for my father to sneak back there and get it for my sister. What lessons do you think that taught her? If kids are taught they have choices or can negotiate how much they get, they always will ask for more. I’m not saying you shouldn’t teach your kids to make choices for themselves. I’m just saying you can’t buckle to the pressure or badgering. Kids are like dogs, they smell weakness.

Just because I have the money now to buy nice things, doesn’t mean I do. My money is allocated towards other purposes. I think kids should be taught that. “No Suzie, we don’t have the money to buy you a Beamer”. Technically perhaps the money is there, but in reality, the money has been “allocated” towards retirement or their college fund. There is no negotiation. I think parents these days want to be their kids friends which leads to caving in.

Otherwise, I have many friends who believe in spending everything they make and are very materially focused. They indulge constantly. If your kids see you buying all of the latest and greatest, why would they know the difference? It becomes the norm.

[zzz]

I believe that money management is partially related to personality and analytical thinking skills, and the other to values that are instilled in you at a very very early age. Not everyone posesses them to the same degree. Some people who are quite bright never learn, even though they have the capacity. Money management is just not their fortay. They might be brilliant in splicing DNA, but not in managing money. Its not to say you can’t be taught those skills, its just going to be harder and take longer to stick. I don’t think you can wait until their in junior high, HS or college to teach them about money. Their values and opinions get formed much early on. Sure we can teach them at that age to reinforce what they already know, but I think it needs to start much younger.

Much of how you approach finances is what you learn from your parents – either you want to emulate or you want to be nothing like them as other posters have mentioned.

My father was terrible at money management and even after financial ruin, I don’t think he’s quite learned his lesson. The kicker is that my father was a mathematics and accounting major. Some people live in the now and enjoy what they can. They don’t really understand delayed gratification for a larger cause. My father no matter how much education or explaining you do for him, he will never be able to strategize on managing money. My father didn’t grow up with a lot of money. They were very middle class. My mother on the other hand grew up with a lot of money. Neither of them were taught about managing money. My father is a spender, my mother is a saver. What’s the diference if neither of them were taught?

Hence why I think its partially personality. My sibling is someone who’s a lot like my father. Didn’t believe in large part in delayed gratification. She’s Target rich. She goes into Target to buy toilet paper, but comes out buying $200 worth of knick knacks. She’ll surely tire of these home decorations, or whatever else she bought in a year or 2. Rinse and repeat. She always wondered how I had more money than she did even though I was younger. She still wonders to this day.

I grew up watching my parents fight about money. I opened my first savings account in 4th grade with my father on the account. I managed to save $3000+ by the time I was 12. Every time I got money for my birthday or holidays, I banked it. Sadly, my father needed the money so he drained my account. That was a harsh lesson. I realized NEVER to rely on anyone for your financial independence because reality was, I couldn’t. While I was probably scarred by the behaviour, I knew I was going to have to take care of myself. My sister never had any money as a kid, in college, or many many years out of college. She thought I was a superficial bitch because I was very focused on my career and always negotiated my salary. I couldn’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t negotiate a salary. It wasnt until her later years when she finally realized no one was going to come in and take care of her financially. If she wanted a house, she was going to have to buy it for herself. The moral of the story, I think you learn these things early on, either by parents who lead by example or conversely what not to do. The rest is left up to personality as my sister and I did very divergent things most of our lives and still have very different approaches to money.

I hear friends talk about how their kids will only eat pizza or mac & cheese. I think its the parent’s role to determine what’s best for a child. A 5 year old shouldn’t be given a choice on what to eat. They don’t get to choose that they want to eat pizza every day. Eventually, a kid will choose to eat what you put in front of them whether they like it or not. Likewise, kids shouldn’t believe they have a choice in how much you’re going to spend on jeans because they badger you or negotiate. My sister learned from an early age that if she cried enough and threw enough fits, my father would buy her the toys. My mother once made them leave a toy store, only for my father to sneak back there and get it for my sister. What lessons do you think that taught her? If kids are taught they have choices or can negotiate how much they get, they always will ask for more. I’m not saying you shouldn’t teach your kids to make choices for themselves. I’m just saying you can’t buckle to the pressure or badgering. Kids are like dogs, they smell weakness.

Just because I have the money now to buy nice things, doesn’t mean I do. My money is allocated towards other purposes. I think kids should be taught that. “No Suzie, we don’t have the money to buy you a Beamer”. Technically perhaps the money is there, but in reality, the money has been “allocated” towards retirement or their college fund. There is no negotiation. I think parents these days want to be their kids friends which leads to caving in.

Otherwise, I have many friends who believe in spending everything they make and are very materially focused. They indulge constantly. If your kids see you buying all of the latest and greatest, why would they know the difference? It becomes the norm.

[zzz]

“It is lack of love of self and others that leads to destruction.

“bad” decisions are always born out of trauma or lack of emotional understanding (there is knowing better and then there is knowing better on an emotional level).”

Enorah, I agree that we all should have more compassion in life for those who are unable to obtain the basic needs in life or have been struck by misfortune.

I do not however agree that everyone makes choices because they lack love of themselves or that their bad decisions are always born of trauma. I know plenty of people who are flat out spoiled who came from great loving families but got spoiled rotten. They love themselves so much they are narcissistic. They feel “entitled”. They are selfish. There are people who will always take more than their fair share. There are those are are conniving and will look to work the system. There is a right and wrong. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ultimately, spending money on credit or borrowing, with the intention of never paying it back when that is what you’ve agreed to, is tantamount to stealing.

[zzz]

“It is lack of love of self and others that leads to destruction.

“bad” decisions are always born out of trauma or lack of emotional understanding (there is knowing better and then there is knowing better on an emotional level).”

Enorah, I agree that we all should have more compassion in life for those who are unable to obtain the basic needs in life or have been struck by misfortune.

I do not however agree that everyone makes choices because they lack love of themselves or that their bad decisions are always born of trauma. I know plenty of people who are flat out spoiled who came from great loving families but got spoiled rotten. They love themselves so much they are narcissistic. They feel “entitled”. They are selfish. There are people who will always take more than their fair share. There are those are are conniving and will look to work the system. There is a right and wrong. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ultimately, spending money on credit or borrowing, with the intention of never paying it back when that is what you’ve agreed to, is tantamount to stealing.

[zzz]

“It is lack of love of self and others that leads to destruction.

“bad” decisions are always born out of trauma or lack of emotional understanding (there is knowing better and then there is knowing better on an emotional level).”

Enorah, I agree that we all should have more compassion in life for those who are unable to obtain the basic needs in life or have been struck by misfortune.

I do not however agree that everyone makes choices because they lack love of themselves or that their bad decisions are always born of trauma. I know plenty of people who are flat out spoiled who came from great loving families but got spoiled rotten. They love themselves so much they are narcissistic. They feel “entitled”. They are selfish. There are people who will always take more than their fair share. There are those are are conniving and will look to work the system. There is a right and wrong. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ultimately, spending money on credit or borrowing, with the intention of never paying it back when that is what you’ve agreed to, is tantamount to stealing.

[zzz]

“It is lack of love of self and others that leads to destruction.

“bad” decisions are always born out of trauma or lack of emotional understanding (there is knowing better and then there is knowing better on an emotional level).”

Enorah, I agree that we all should have more compassion in life for those who are unable to obtain the basic needs in life or have been struck by misfortune.

I do not however agree that everyone makes choices because they lack love of themselves or that their bad decisions are always born of trauma. I know plenty of people who are flat out spoiled who came from great loving families but got spoiled rotten. They love themselves so much they are narcissistic. They feel “entitled”. They are selfish. There are people who will always take more than their fair share. There are those are are conniving and will look to work the system. There is a right and wrong. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ultimately, spending money on credit or borrowing, with the intention of never paying it back when that is what you’ve agreed to, is tantamount to stealing.

[zzz]

“It is lack of love of self and others that leads to destruction.

“bad” decisions are always born out of trauma or lack of emotional understanding (there is knowing better and then there is knowing better on an emotional level).”

Enorah, I agree that we all should have more compassion in life for those who are unable to obtain the basic needs in life or have been struck by misfortune.

I do not however agree that everyone makes choices because they lack love of themselves or that their bad decisions are always born of trauma. I know plenty of people who are flat out spoiled who came from great loving families but got spoiled rotten. They love themselves so much they are narcissistic. They feel “entitled”. They are selfish. There are people who will always take more than their fair share. There are those are are conniving and will look to work the system. There is a right and wrong. Murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ultimately, spending money on credit or borrowing, with the intention of never paying it back when that is what you’ve agreed to, is tantamount to stealing.

[zzz]

Ageism is a huge problem. Unfortunately for the boomers, retiring is not an option as stated by the article above and by many other studies. For many, the one fundamental reason they cannot retire and cannot survive financially without a “full time” job with health care benefits is for the health care alone.

I hope that our society will look to address ageism with the huge population of baby boomers as age discrimination is no better than discrimination on sex, race, or religion. However I think its one of the least talked about compared to the other forms of discriminiation.

For those who think well I’m in my 20s or 30s and why should I care now about ageism? Not only may it affect you very personally in the next decade or so, but it may affect you in the form of having to take care of your parents in some form or another. If your parents live to be 85 or 90 and have sporadic employment starting in their mid or late 50s, how many of them can afford healthcare until Medicare kicks in? Even after Medicare and Social Security kick in, how many can afford the cost of living for 30-40 years and possibly buying supplemental insurance?

[zzz]

Ageism is a huge problem. Unfortunately for the boomers, retiring is not an option as stated by the article above and by many other studies. For many, the one fundamental reason they cannot retire and cannot survive financially without a “full time” job with health care benefits is for the health care alone.

I hope that our society will look to address ageism with the huge population of baby boomers as age discrimination is no better than discrimination on sex, race, or religion. However I think its one of the least talked about compared to the other forms of discriminiation.

For those who think well I’m in my 20s or 30s and why should I care now about ageism? Not only may it affect you very personally in the next decade or so, but it may affect you in the form of having to take care of your parents in some form or another. If your parents live to be 85 or 90 and have sporadic employment starting in their mid or late 50s, how many of them can afford healthcare until Medicare kicks in? Even after Medicare and Social Security kick in, how many can afford the cost of living for 30-40 years and possibly buying supplemental insurance?

[zzz]

Ageism is a huge problem. Unfortunately for the boomers, retiring is not an option as stated by the article above and by many other studies. For many, the one fundamental reason they cannot retire and cannot survive financially without a “full time” job with health care benefits is for the health care alone.

I hope that our society will look to address ageism with the huge population of baby boomers as age discrimination is no better than discrimination on sex, race, or religion. However I think its one of the least talked about compared to the other forms of discriminiation.

For those who think well I’m in my 20s or 30s and why should I care now about ageism? Not only may it affect you very personally in the next decade or so, but it may affect you in the form of having to take care of your parents in some form or another. If your parents live to be 85 or 90 and have sporadic employment starting in their mid or late 50s, how many of them can afford healthcare until Medicare kicks in? Even after Medicare and Social Security kick in, how many can afford the cost of living for 30-40 years and possibly buying supplemental insurance?

[zzz]

Ageism is a huge problem. Unfortunately for the boomers, retiring is not an option as stated by the article above and by many other studies. For many, the one fundamental reason they cannot retire and cannot survive financially without a “full time” job with health care benefits is for the health care alone.

I hope that our society will look to address ageism with the huge population of baby boomers as age discrimination is no better than discrimination on sex, race, or religion. However I think its one of the least talked about compared to the other forms of discriminiation.

For those who think well I’m in my 20s or 30s and why should I care now about ageism? Not only may it affect you very personally in the next decade or so, but it may affect you in the form of having to take care of your parents in some form or another. If your parents live to be 85 or 90 and have sporadic employment starting in their mid or late 50s, how many of them can afford healthcare until Medicare kicks in? Even after Medicare and Social Security kick in, how many can afford the cost of living for 30-40 years and possibly buying supplemental insurance?

[zzz]

Ageism is a huge problem. Unfortunately for the boomers, retiring is not an option as stated by the article above and by many other studies. For many, the one fundamental reason they cannot retire and cannot survive financially without a “full time” job with health care benefits is for the health care alone.

I hope that our society will look to address ageism with the huge population of baby boomers as age discrimination is no better than discrimination on sex, race, or religion. However I think its one of the least talked about compared to the other forms of discriminiation.

For those who think well I’m in my 20s or 30s and why should I care now about ageism? Not only may it affect you very personally in the next decade or so, but it may affect you in the form of having to take care of your parents in some form or another. If your parents live to be 85 or 90 and have sporadic employment starting in their mid or late 50s, how many of them can afford healthcare until Medicare kicks in? Even after Medicare and Social Security kick in, how many can afford the cost of living for 30-40 years and possibly buying supplemental insurance?

[zzz]

I think its harsh to view her plight as her own fault. Her finances could have been crippled by medical bills. Not everyone is fortuante enough to have medical insurance. Perhaps she hasn’t always worked because she was a stay at home mom. Perhaps her ex-husband screwed her and took all their money overseas. If she was working, she may have been “providing” for her children as a single mother and therefore never able to save much. Perhaps she suffered from a horrible financial advisor who invested poorly and left her with little. How can anyone be callous enough to say that its her fault she’s in the position she’s in and deserves to live in a car for her stupid choices? Have you never made a stupid choice in your life or been struck my misfortune?

Perhaps she’s staying in SB because she wants to be near her 19 year old daughter. When you’re down and out, I think you’d want support in the form of love. For her to just pick up and move somewhere less expensive and away from the only love and support it sounds like she has, might be quite difficult.

I think its easy for those of us sitting in our comfortable homes / glass towers to cast stones. Perhaps we should all stop living on our high horses and reach out to help others. If you’re too selfish to help others, at least have some sympathy.

[zzz]

I think its harsh to view her plight as her own fault. Her finances could have been crippled by medical bills. Not everyone is fortuante enough to have medical insurance. Perhaps she hasn’t always worked because she was a stay at home mom. Perhaps her ex-husband screwed her and took all their money overseas. If she was working, she may have been “providing” for her children as a single mother and therefore never able to save much. Perhaps she suffered from a horrible financial advisor who invested poorly and left her with little. How can anyone be callous enough to say that its her fault she’s in the position she’s in and deserves to live in a car for her stupid choices? Have you never made a stupid choice in your life or been struck my misfortune?

Perhaps she’s staying in SB because she wants to be near her 19 year old daughter. When you’re down and out, I think you’d want support in the form of love. For her to just pick up and move somewhere less expensive and away from the only love and support it sounds like she has, might be quite difficult.

I think its easy for those of us sitting in our comfortable homes / glass towers to cast stones. Perhaps we should all stop living on our high horses and reach out to help others. If you’re too selfish to help others, at least have some sympathy.

[zzz]

I think its harsh to view her plight as her own fault. Her finances could have been crippled by medical bills. Not everyone is fortuante enough to have medical insurance. Perhaps she hasn’t always worked because she was a stay at home mom. Perhaps her ex-husband screwed her and took all their money overseas. If she was working, she may have been “providing” for her children as a single mother and therefore never able to save much. Perhaps she suffered from a horrible financial advisor who invested poorly and left her with little. How can anyone be callous enough to say that its her fault she’s in the position she’s in and deserves to live in a car for her stupid choices? Have you never made a stupid choice in your life or been struck my misfortune?

Perhaps she’s staying in SB because she wants to be near her 19 year old daughter. When you’re down and out, I think you’d want support in the form of love. For her to just pick up and move somewhere less expensive and away from the only love and support it sounds like she has, might be quite difficult.

I think its easy for those of us sitting in our comfortable homes / glass towers to cast stones. Perhaps we should all stop living on our high horses and reach out to help others. If you’re too selfish to help others, at least have some sympathy.

[Author]

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