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eavesdropper
Participant[quote=walterwhite]So going forward are price declines a reasonably sure thing?
Best guess?[/quote]
Housing prices? I believe that they will be a fact of life for at least 2 or 3 more years in the DC area where I live. Unfortunately, supplies of bank-owned properties in many of our areas have swollen to a really uncomfortable point, and what I feared most has come to pass: the banks are listing them at prices 25% or more below comps. This is following market-driven drops of 20 – 30% or more per year since early 2008. We’re starting to see more people of all income levels simply ceasing to pay their mortgages, and waiting for the banks to come after them. So supplies of bank-owned properties will continue to increase for the foreseeable future.
We downsized in 2008 in an effort to avoid being stuck with the large family abode in our 60s, and trying to sell it at the same time as the rest of the boomers who bought the majority of them. We were dealing with sellers who hadn’t gotten the memo about the real estate bust, and had to really fight to get a realistic price on what we bought (we couldn’t afford to rent, tax-wise). We knew we’d experience a drop, but it’s alarming how much and how fast – and it’s due primarily to increases in supplies of bank-owned properties. For now, we’re okay: no plans to sell for at least another 10 years. But our neighbors who need to move for work, or unavoidable personal issues, are really screwed.
Participant[quote=CONCHO]The government will get out of the housing business when it gets out of the medical business, the war business, the energy business, the education business, the food business, the air travel business, and too many more for me to remember.[/quote]
It doesn’t bother me so much that they’re in these things (some things are just facts of life), but it gets my knickers in a twist when opportunistic politicians allow for unlimited expansion of expensive programs. For example, there are far more people applying for disability benefits under Social Security/Medicare, than there are retirement benefits. And quite a few of those are pre-school kids!
The fallout from this limitless growth is that we’ve become a society in which motivation to take care of ourselves and our own is becoming a scarce commodity. There are quite a few large studies that have been following cohorts of seniors and pre-seniors for several years. They show that the younger (“boomer”) generation cohort (in their 50s) in the study is reporting much higher rates of disability than did the older cohort (in their 80s) for the same conditions.
What really twists my knickers to the seam-busting point is when I meet up with, or read about, “conservative” citizens complaining bitterly about government intervention in their lives, but who are receiving SSI, food stamps, Medicaid/Medicare (and usually bitching because the payments are too low). I’ve been seriously ill in my life, but continued to work and was fortunate enough to have employer-assisted health care coverage. But if I should become disabled in the future, why is it the government’s job to take care of me? I may have to sit on the street in my wheelchair pan-handling, or I may die from lack of health care, but that’s what life was until the mid-20th century.
That being said, I believe that we are morally compelled to take care of our truly needy fellow citizens, and am willing to pay extra taxes to do so. But I stress “truly needy”, and I will do my utmost to stay out of that category for as long as I can. And as a fortunate citizen of this great nation, I will comply with whatever policy is adopted by the citizenry via their votes for government officials, whether or not it agrees with my personal mores and ethics.
I really wish the hypocrisy and the double-standards would stop, and that those screaming about excessive government intervention would revise their personal expectations of that intervention, and start taking care of themselves and their families.
Participant[quote=CONCHO]The government will get out of the housing business when it gets out of the medical business, the war business, the energy business, the education business, the food business, the air travel business, and too many more for me to remember.[/quote]
It doesn’t bother me so much that they’re in these things (some things are just facts of life), but it gets my knickers in a twist when opportunistic politicians allow for unlimited expansion of expensive programs. For example, there are far more people applying for disability benefits under Social Security/Medicare, than there are retirement benefits. And quite a few of those are pre-school kids!
The fallout from this limitless growth is that we’ve become a society in which motivation to take care of ourselves and our own is becoming a scarce commodity. There are quite a few large studies that have been following cohorts of seniors and pre-seniors for several years. They show that the younger (“boomer”) generation cohort (in their 50s) in the study is reporting much higher rates of disability than did the older cohort (in their 80s) for the same conditions.
What really twists my knickers to the seam-busting point is when I meet up with, or read about, “conservative” citizens complaining bitterly about government intervention in their lives, but who are receiving SSI, food stamps, Medicaid/Medicare (and usually bitching because the payments are too low). I’ve been seriously ill in my life, but continued to work and was fortunate enough to have employer-assisted health care coverage. But if I should become disabled in the future, why is it the government’s job to take care of me? I may have to sit on the street in my wheelchair pan-handling, or I may die from lack of health care, but that’s what life was until the mid-20th century.
That being said, I believe that we are morally compelled to take care of our truly needy fellow citizens, and am willing to pay extra taxes to do so. But I stress “truly needy”, and I will do my utmost to stay out of that category for as long as I can. And as a fortunate citizen of this great nation, I will comply with whatever policy is adopted by the citizenry via their votes for government officials, whether or not it agrees with my personal mores and ethics.
I really wish the hypocrisy and the double-standards would stop, and that those screaming about excessive government intervention would revise their personal expectations of that intervention, and start taking care of themselves and their families.
Participant[quote=CONCHO]The government will get out of the housing business when it gets out of the medical business, the war business, the energy business, the education business, the food business, the air travel business, and too many more for me to remember.[/quote]
It doesn’t bother me so much that they’re in these things (some things are just facts of life), but it gets my knickers in a twist when opportunistic politicians allow for unlimited expansion of expensive programs. For example, there are far more people applying for disability benefits under Social Security/Medicare, than there are retirement benefits. And quite a few of those are pre-school kids!
The fallout from this limitless growth is that we’ve become a society in which motivation to take care of ourselves and our own is becoming a scarce commodity. There are quite a few large studies that have been following cohorts of seniors and pre-seniors for several years. They show that the younger (“boomer”) generation cohort (in their 50s) in the study is reporting much higher rates of disability than did the older cohort (in their 80s) for the same conditions.
What really twists my knickers to the seam-busting point is when I meet up with, or read about, “conservative” citizens complaining bitterly about government intervention in their lives, but who are receiving SSI, food stamps, Medicaid/Medicare (and usually bitching because the payments are too low). I’ve been seriously ill in my life, but continued to work and was fortunate enough to have employer-assisted health care coverage. But if I should become disabled in the future, why is it the government’s job to take care of me? I may have to sit on the street in my wheelchair pan-handling, or I may die from lack of health care, but that’s what life was until the mid-20th century.
That being said, I believe that we are morally compelled to take care of our truly needy fellow citizens, and am willing to pay extra taxes to do so. But I stress “truly needy”, and I will do my utmost to stay out of that category for as long as I can. And as a fortunate citizen of this great nation, I will comply with whatever policy is adopted by the citizenry via their votes for government officials, whether or not it agrees with my personal mores and ethics.
I really wish the hypocrisy and the double-standards would stop, and that those screaming about excessive government intervention would revise their personal expectations of that intervention, and start taking care of themselves and their families.
Participant[quote=CONCHO]The government will get out of the housing business when it gets out of the medical business, the war business, the energy business, the education business, the food business, the air travel business, and too many more for me to remember.[/quote]
It doesn’t bother me so much that they’re in these things (some things are just facts of life), but it gets my knickers in a twist when opportunistic politicians allow for unlimited expansion of expensive programs. For example, there are far more people applying for disability benefits under Social Security/Medicare, than there are retirement benefits. And quite a few of those are pre-school kids!
The fallout from this limitless growth is that we’ve become a society in which motivation to take care of ourselves and our own is becoming a scarce commodity. There are quite a few large studies that have been following cohorts of seniors and pre-seniors for several years. They show that the younger (“boomer”) generation cohort (in their 50s) in the study is reporting much higher rates of disability than did the older cohort (in their 80s) for the same conditions.
What really twists my knickers to the seam-busting point is when I meet up with, or read about, “conservative” citizens complaining bitterly about government intervention in their lives, but who are receiving SSI, food stamps, Medicaid/Medicare (and usually bitching because the payments are too low). I’ve been seriously ill in my life, but continued to work and was fortunate enough to have employer-assisted health care coverage. But if I should become disabled in the future, why is it the government’s job to take care of me? I may have to sit on the street in my wheelchair pan-handling, or I may die from lack of health care, but that’s what life was until the mid-20th century.
That being said, I believe that we are morally compelled to take care of our truly needy fellow citizens, and am willing to pay extra taxes to do so. But I stress “truly needy”, and I will do my utmost to stay out of that category for as long as I can. And as a fortunate citizen of this great nation, I will comply with whatever policy is adopted by the citizenry via their votes for government officials, whether or not it agrees with my personal mores and ethics.
I really wish the hypocrisy and the double-standards would stop, and that those screaming about excessive government intervention would revise their personal expectations of that intervention, and start taking care of themselves and their families.
Participant[quote=CONCHO]The government will get out of the housing business when it gets out of the medical business, the war business, the energy business, the education business, the food business, the air travel business, and too many more for me to remember.[/quote]
It doesn’t bother me so much that they’re in these things (some things are just facts of life), but it gets my knickers in a twist when opportunistic politicians allow for unlimited expansion of expensive programs. For example, there are far more people applying for disability benefits under Social Security/Medicare, than there are retirement benefits. And quite a few of those are pre-school kids!
The fallout from this limitless growth is that we’ve become a society in which motivation to take care of ourselves and our own is becoming a scarce commodity. There are quite a few large studies that have been following cohorts of seniors and pre-seniors for several years. They show that the younger (“boomer”) generation cohort (in their 50s) in the study is reporting much higher rates of disability than did the older cohort (in their 80s) for the same conditions.
What really twists my knickers to the seam-busting point is when I meet up with, or read about, “conservative” citizens complaining bitterly about government intervention in their lives, but who are receiving SSI, food stamps, Medicaid/Medicare (and usually bitching because the payments are too low). I’ve been seriously ill in my life, but continued to work and was fortunate enough to have employer-assisted health care coverage. But if I should become disabled in the future, why is it the government’s job to take care of me? I may have to sit on the street in my wheelchair pan-handling, or I may die from lack of health care, but that’s what life was until the mid-20th century.
That being said, I believe that we are morally compelled to take care of our truly needy fellow citizens, and am willing to pay extra taxes to do so. But I stress “truly needy”, and I will do my utmost to stay out of that category for as long as I can. And as a fortunate citizen of this great nation, I will comply with whatever policy is adopted by the citizenry via their votes for government officials, whether or not it agrees with my personal mores and ethics.
I really wish the hypocrisy and the double-standards would stop, and that those screaming about excessive government intervention would revise their personal expectations of that intervention, and start taking care of themselves and their families.
Participant[quote=bearishgurl][quote=toots]Thanks to everyone for their advice, I really appreciate the information.
I am a little stressed out about this because I don’t know exactly what my mother’s finances are BUT it’s time for her and my brother to tell me the truth. He didn’t worry about the shape of her house until he lost his and moved in with mom. I didn’t really want to say that but it’s silly for me to be embarrassed. I am not inclined to take his financial advice considering he’s on his second bankruptcy in 15 years. The only reason I know about the 1st bankruptcy is my dad bailed him out and put it in his will to subtract the amount from my brother’s inheritance(he died 10 years ago and I was given a copy of his will; maybe that’s why my mom has no savings). My brother is executor. My dad must have turned a few times in his grave.
He tells me all the repairs will cost in the 20 30K range (not just the roof). I just got off the phone with a good friend who owns several properties in San Francisco, and she said DO NOT do a RM. She recommends an equity line of credit, but said they are hard to get these days.
I was searching online for programs for seniors; my mom has no debt, the mortgage was paid off when I was in high school and she has a modest income (pension/SS). I told my brother not to do anything until we’ve considered all options. The roof has been leaking a long time from what I can tell, it can leak a little longer.[/quote]
toots, an equity line of credit is the same as a HELOC. You need to find out if your mom has given your brother a power of attorney and a whole bunch of other information. Is there a third party in the area who can oversee the purchase of materials and supervise labor for the repairs?
If your mom gets an RM or HELOC and your brother is in the house, given his history, he may find a way to go thru the $$ and NOT apply it to repairs, exposing your mom to foreclosure. Just being blunt here . . . I’ve seen a lot of things…..I would make a trip back there and get your mom to an attorney and have the attorney give you copies of everything and make an agreement with the attorney to inform you if your mom comes in later to revise her estate planning. I would do this EVEN IF I HAD THE HIRE THE ATTY MYSELF AND DRIVE HER THERE!….Not trying to overdramatize things here, just emphasize that you need to know exactly what is going on. I think your telling them to do nothing right now was smart. Hopefully, your brother will not be able to convince your mom otherwise until you can get there and assess everything for yourself.[/quote]
toots, bearishgurl and others here are right on the money. i fully understand how difficult this is: I’m in the same boat, and have a dimwitted, perpetually insolvent brother giving my mom “financial advice”, including taking out a reverse mortgage. I also do not live close by, which does complicate things enormously. But I’d get to your mom’s house as soon as possible, consult an attorney, and make sure that your mom has not signed anything over to your brother. Her local senior services office may be able to direct you to experts who are well-versed in the financial problems of senior citizens. The local district attorney may have programs that can assist you in identifying signs of fraud, and in providing information on scams that target seniors.
If your mom has already made your brother executor of her estate with power of attorney, you may not be able to change her mind. But you may have to be brutally honest with her, and paint a picture of what could happen if she continues to trust him (i.e., house could be sold from under her, she could end up in a seriously substandard nursing home, etc.)
If your mom needs money for living expenses, and for paying annual property taxes (as my mother does), in addition to the home repairs, the RM may be the way to go. If you go with the HELOC, read all the fine print, and (as someone else on this thread advised) make sure that there are adequate assets to make the payment each month, or you could find out, after the fact, that the property has been sold out from under your mom. No matter what, I would sit down and make up a ten-year plan with budget, to see if the up-front costs of a RM are worthwhile, or if the HELOC will be adequate for your mom’s needs.
And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.
Participant[quote=bearishgurl][quote=toots]Thanks to everyone for their advice, I really appreciate the information.
I am a little stressed out about this because I don’t know exactly what my mother’s finances are BUT it’s time for her and my brother to tell me the truth. He didn’t worry about the shape of her house until he lost his and moved in with mom. I didn’t really want to say that but it’s silly for me to be embarrassed. I am not inclined to take his financial advice considering he’s on his second bankruptcy in 15 years. The only reason I know about the 1st bankruptcy is my dad bailed him out and put it in his will to subtract the amount from my brother’s inheritance(he died 10 years ago and I was given a copy of his will; maybe that’s why my mom has no savings). My brother is executor. My dad must have turned a few times in his grave.
He tells me all the repairs will cost in the 20 30K range (not just the roof). I just got off the phone with a good friend who owns several properties in San Francisco, and she said DO NOT do a RM. She recommends an equity line of credit, but said they are hard to get these days.
I was searching online for programs for seniors; my mom has no debt, the mortgage was paid off when I was in high school and she has a modest income (pension/SS). I told my brother not to do anything until we’ve considered all options. The roof has been leaking a long time from what I can tell, it can leak a little longer.[/quote]
toots, an equity line of credit is the same as a HELOC. You need to find out if your mom has given your brother a power of attorney and a whole bunch of other information. Is there a third party in the area who can oversee the purchase of materials and supervise labor for the repairs?
If your mom gets an RM or HELOC and your brother is in the house, given his history, he may find a way to go thru the $$ and NOT apply it to repairs, exposing your mom to foreclosure. Just being blunt here . . . I’ve seen a lot of things…..I would make a trip back there and get your mom to an attorney and have the attorney give you copies of everything and make an agreement with the attorney to inform you if your mom comes in later to revise her estate planning. I would do this EVEN IF I HAD THE HIRE THE ATTY MYSELF AND DRIVE HER THERE!….Not trying to overdramatize things here, just emphasize that you need to know exactly what is going on. I think your telling them to do nothing right now was smart. Hopefully, your brother will not be able to convince your mom otherwise until you can get there and assess everything for yourself.[/quote]
toots, bearishgurl and others here are right on the money. i fully understand how difficult this is: I’m in the same boat, and have a dimwitted, perpetually insolvent brother giving my mom “financial advice”, including taking out a reverse mortgage. I also do not live close by, which does complicate things enormously. But I’d get to your mom’s house as soon as possible, consult an attorney, and make sure that your mom has not signed anything over to your brother. Her local senior services office may be able to direct you to experts who are well-versed in the financial problems of senior citizens. The local district attorney may have programs that can assist you in identifying signs of fraud, and in providing information on scams that target seniors.
If your mom has already made your brother executor of her estate with power of attorney, you may not be able to change her mind. But you may have to be brutally honest with her, and paint a picture of what could happen if she continues to trust him (i.e., house could be sold from under her, she could end up in a seriously substandard nursing home, etc.)
If your mom needs money for living expenses, and for paying annual property taxes (as my mother does), in addition to the home repairs, the RM may be the way to go. If you go with the HELOC, read all the fine print, and (as someone else on this thread advised) make sure that there are adequate assets to make the payment each month, or you could find out, after the fact, that the property has been sold out from under your mom. No matter what, I would sit down and make up a ten-year plan with budget, to see if the up-front costs of a RM are worthwhile, or if the HELOC will be adequate for your mom’s needs.
And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.
Participant[quote=bearishgurl][quote=toots]Thanks to everyone for their advice, I really appreciate the information.
I am a little stressed out about this because I don’t know exactly what my mother’s finances are BUT it’s time for her and my brother to tell me the truth. He didn’t worry about the shape of her house until he lost his and moved in with mom. I didn’t really want to say that but it’s silly for me to be embarrassed. I am not inclined to take his financial advice considering he’s on his second bankruptcy in 15 years. The only reason I know about the 1st bankruptcy is my dad bailed him out and put it in his will to subtract the amount from my brother’s inheritance(he died 10 years ago and I was given a copy of his will; maybe that’s why my mom has no savings). My brother is executor. My dad must have turned a few times in his grave.
He tells me all the repairs will cost in the 20 30K range (not just the roof). I just got off the phone with a good friend who owns several properties in San Francisco, and she said DO NOT do a RM. She recommends an equity line of credit, but said they are hard to get these days.
I was searching online for programs for seniors; my mom has no debt, the mortgage was paid off when I was in high school and she has a modest income (pension/SS). I told my brother not to do anything until we’ve considered all options. The roof has been leaking a long time from what I can tell, it can leak a little longer.[/quote]
toots, an equity line of credit is the same as a HELOC. You need to find out if your mom has given your brother a power of attorney and a whole bunch of other information. Is there a third party in the area who can oversee the purchase of materials and supervise labor for the repairs?
If your mom gets an RM or HELOC and your brother is in the house, given his history, he may find a way to go thru the $$ and NOT apply it to repairs, exposing your mom to foreclosure. Just being blunt here . . . I’ve seen a lot of things…..I would make a trip back there and get your mom to an attorney and have the attorney give you copies of everything and make an agreement with the attorney to inform you if your mom comes in later to revise her estate planning. I would do this EVEN IF I HAD THE HIRE THE ATTY MYSELF AND DRIVE HER THERE!….Not trying to overdramatize things here, just emphasize that you need to know exactly what is going on. I think your telling them to do nothing right now was smart. Hopefully, your brother will not be able to convince your mom otherwise until you can get there and assess everything for yourself.[/quote]
toots, bearishgurl and others here are right on the money. i fully understand how difficult this is: I’m in the same boat, and have a dimwitted, perpetually insolvent brother giving my mom “financial advice”, including taking out a reverse mortgage. I also do not live close by, which does complicate things enormously. But I’d get to your mom’s house as soon as possible, consult an attorney, and make sure that your mom has not signed anything over to your brother. Her local senior services office may be able to direct you to experts who are well-versed in the financial problems of senior citizens. The local district attorney may have programs that can assist you in identifying signs of fraud, and in providing information on scams that target seniors.
If your mom has already made your brother executor of her estate with power of attorney, you may not be able to change her mind. But you may have to be brutally honest with her, and paint a picture of what could happen if she continues to trust him (i.e., house could be sold from under her, she could end up in a seriously substandard nursing home, etc.)
If your mom needs money for living expenses, and for paying annual property taxes (as my mother does), in addition to the home repairs, the RM may be the way to go. If you go with the HELOC, read all the fine print, and (as someone else on this thread advised) make sure that there are adequate assets to make the payment each month, or you could find out, after the fact, that the property has been sold out from under your mom. No matter what, I would sit down and make up a ten-year plan with budget, to see if the up-front costs of a RM are worthwhile, or if the HELOC will be adequate for your mom’s needs.
And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.
Participant[quote=bearishgurl][quote=toots]Thanks to everyone for their advice, I really appreciate the information.
I am a little stressed out about this because I don’t know exactly what my mother’s finances are BUT it’s time for her and my brother to tell me the truth. He didn’t worry about the shape of her house until he lost his and moved in with mom. I didn’t really want to say that but it’s silly for me to be embarrassed. I am not inclined to take his financial advice considering he’s on his second bankruptcy in 15 years. The only reason I know about the 1st bankruptcy is my dad bailed him out and put it in his will to subtract the amount from my brother’s inheritance(he died 10 years ago and I was given a copy of his will; maybe that’s why my mom has no savings). My brother is executor. My dad must have turned a few times in his grave.
He tells me all the repairs will cost in the 20 30K range (not just the roof). I just got off the phone with a good friend who owns several properties in San Francisco, and she said DO NOT do a RM. She recommends an equity line of credit, but said they are hard to get these days.
I was searching online for programs for seniors; my mom has no debt, the mortgage was paid off when I was in high school and she has a modest income (pension/SS). I told my brother not to do anything until we’ve considered all options. The roof has been leaking a long time from what I can tell, it can leak a little longer.[/quote]
toots, an equity line of credit is the same as a HELOC. You need to find out if your mom has given your brother a power of attorney and a whole bunch of other information. Is there a third party in the area who can oversee the purchase of materials and supervise labor for the repairs?
If your mom gets an RM or HELOC and your brother is in the house, given his history, he may find a way to go thru the $$ and NOT apply it to repairs, exposing your mom to foreclosure. Just being blunt here . . . I’ve seen a lot of things…..I would make a trip back there and get your mom to an attorney and have the attorney give you copies of everything and make an agreement with the attorney to inform you if your mom comes in later to revise her estate planning. I would do this EVEN IF I HAD THE HIRE THE ATTY MYSELF AND DRIVE HER THERE!….Not trying to overdramatize things here, just emphasize that you need to know exactly what is going on. I think your telling them to do nothing right now was smart. Hopefully, your brother will not be able to convince your mom otherwise until you can get there and assess everything for yourself.[/quote]
toots, bearishgurl and others here are right on the money. i fully understand how difficult this is: I’m in the same boat, and have a dimwitted, perpetually insolvent brother giving my mom “financial advice”, including taking out a reverse mortgage. I also do not live close by, which does complicate things enormously. But I’d get to your mom’s house as soon as possible, consult an attorney, and make sure that your mom has not signed anything over to your brother. Her local senior services office may be able to direct you to experts who are well-versed in the financial problems of senior citizens. The local district attorney may have programs that can assist you in identifying signs of fraud, and in providing information on scams that target seniors.
If your mom has already made your brother executor of her estate with power of attorney, you may not be able to change her mind. But you may have to be brutally honest with her, and paint a picture of what could happen if she continues to trust him (i.e., house could be sold from under her, she could end up in a seriously substandard nursing home, etc.)
If your mom needs money for living expenses, and for paying annual property taxes (as my mother does), in addition to the home repairs, the RM may be the way to go. If you go with the HELOC, read all the fine print, and (as someone else on this thread advised) make sure that there are adequate assets to make the payment each month, or you could find out, after the fact, that the property has been sold out from under your mom. No matter what, I would sit down and make up a ten-year plan with budget, to see if the up-front costs of a RM are worthwhile, or if the HELOC will be adequate for your mom’s needs.
And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.
Participant[quote=bearishgurl][quote=toots]Thanks to everyone for their advice, I really appreciate the information.
I am a little stressed out about this because I don’t know exactly what my mother’s finances are BUT it’s time for her and my brother to tell me the truth. He didn’t worry about the shape of her house until he lost his and moved in with mom. I didn’t really want to say that but it’s silly for me to be embarrassed. I am not inclined to take his financial advice considering he’s on his second bankruptcy in 15 years. The only reason I know about the 1st bankruptcy is my dad bailed him out and put it in his will to subtract the amount from my brother’s inheritance(he died 10 years ago and I was given a copy of his will; maybe that’s why my mom has no savings). My brother is executor. My dad must have turned a few times in his grave.
He tells me all the repairs will cost in the 20 30K range (not just the roof). I just got off the phone with a good friend who owns several properties in San Francisco, and she said DO NOT do a RM. She recommends an equity line of credit, but said they are hard to get these days.
I was searching online for programs for seniors; my mom has no debt, the mortgage was paid off when I was in high school and she has a modest income (pension/SS). I told my brother not to do anything until we’ve considered all options. The roof has been leaking a long time from what I can tell, it can leak a little longer.[/quote]
toots, an equity line of credit is the same as a HELOC. You need to find out if your mom has given your brother a power of attorney and a whole bunch of other information. Is there a third party in the area who can oversee the purchase of materials and supervise labor for the repairs?
If your mom gets an RM or HELOC and your brother is in the house, given his history, he may find a way to go thru the $$ and NOT apply it to repairs, exposing your mom to foreclosure. Just being blunt here . . . I’ve seen a lot of things…..I would make a trip back there and get your mom to an attorney and have the attorney give you copies of everything and make an agreement with the attorney to inform you if your mom comes in later to revise her estate planning. I would do this EVEN IF I HAD THE HIRE THE ATTY MYSELF AND DRIVE HER THERE!….Not trying to overdramatize things here, just emphasize that you need to know exactly what is going on. I think your telling them to do nothing right now was smart. Hopefully, your brother will not be able to convince your mom otherwise until you can get there and assess everything for yourself.[/quote]
toots, bearishgurl and others here are right on the money. i fully understand how difficult this is: I’m in the same boat, and have a dimwitted, perpetually insolvent brother giving my mom “financial advice”, including taking out a reverse mortgage. I also do not live close by, which does complicate things enormously. But I’d get to your mom’s house as soon as possible, consult an attorney, and make sure that your mom has not signed anything over to your brother. Her local senior services office may be able to direct you to experts who are well-versed in the financial problems of senior citizens. The local district attorney may have programs that can assist you in identifying signs of fraud, and in providing information on scams that target seniors.
If your mom has already made your brother executor of her estate with power of attorney, you may not be able to change her mind. But you may have to be brutally honest with her, and paint a picture of what could happen if she continues to trust him (i.e., house could be sold from under her, she could end up in a seriously substandard nursing home, etc.)
If your mom needs money for living expenses, and for paying annual property taxes (as my mother does), in addition to the home repairs, the RM may be the way to go. If you go with the HELOC, read all the fine print, and (as someone else on this thread advised) make sure that there are adequate assets to make the payment each month, or you could find out, after the fact, that the property has been sold out from under your mom. No matter what, I would sit down and make up a ten-year plan with budget, to see if the up-front costs of a RM are worthwhile, or if the HELOC will be adequate for your mom’s needs.
And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.
Participant[quote=HLS]We aren’t dealing with too many people who think.
FHA is the new subprime. Without it, the houisng market would collapse.We are dealing with a society that has an entitlement attitude and thinks that their civil rights are violated if they can’t get a mortgage.
Greed and foolishness is rampant. People think they are looked down upon if they are a renter.The wise ones have been renters the last 5-6 years and have no money in the stock market. How UNAmerican is that ?
The recent move to “address risk” at FHA was if a credit score is below 580, you need 10% down. Above 580 3.50% down is still possible, and the seller can only contribute 3% of the sales price instead of 6%.
This is a very, very, sick situation.HLS, I’ve noticed what you term as the “entitlement attitude” also, and it doesn’t appear as though the rocky financial shoals we’ve been experiencing recently have been a deterrent to borrowers or lenders. I kept hearing that the days of zero percent down were over, but that’s not what I’m seeing. What I’m especially struck by is the attitude of very young adults (20-22) who are living with their parents, and insisting that they have to buy a house before they can move out (sheltering that $25K annual salary from income taxes can be challenging). I admit to spitting up a little in my mouth when I watch “House Hunter”-type shows, and hear an appalled 21-year-old college dropout complain that the kitchen doesn’t have granite or stainless, and there’s only two bathrooms, and neither has double sinks!
Yes, I’m older than dirt, but I remember just wanting to get the hell out of my parents’ house at any cost. If an apartment had affordable rent and at least intermittent running water in its ONE 4′ x 3′ bathroom, I signed on the dotted line. Buying was something you saved for, and, when you bought, a substantial amount of your capital was in that property.
Just like Social Security and Medicare and some other entitlement programs have been expanded far beyond their original purposes and provisions, so has government funding of home ownership. I am alarmed by what appears to be the Feds filling the home financing void left by skittish financial institutions.
Do you know who it was in Congress that sponsored this recent initiative on the mortgage insurance increases? I never fail to be shocked by the appallingly low level of financial IQs among our elected officials. Is it possible that none of the large number that voted on this can comprehend what an increase of $450 and up will do to people’s ability to cover their monthly mortgage payment? And this is on top of the exorbitant hikes in property taxes in some areas where local governments are attempting to increase revenue.
Participant[quote=HLS]We aren’t dealing with too many people who think.
FHA is the new subprime. Without it, the houisng market would collapse.We are dealing with a society that has an entitlement attitude and thinks that their civil rights are violated if they can’t get a mortgage.
Greed and foolishness is rampant. People think they are looked down upon if they are a renter.The wise ones have been renters the last 5-6 years and have no money in the stock market. How UNAmerican is that ?
The recent move to “address risk” at FHA was if a credit score is below 580, you need 10% down. Above 580 3.50% down is still possible, and the seller can only contribute 3% of the sales price instead of 6%.
This is a very, very, sick situation.HLS, I’ve noticed what you term as the “entitlement attitude” also, and it doesn’t appear as though the rocky financial shoals we’ve been experiencing recently have been a deterrent to borrowers or lenders. I kept hearing that the days of zero percent down were over, but that’s not what I’m seeing. What I’m especially struck by is the attitude of very young adults (20-22) who are living with their parents, and insisting that they have to buy a house before they can move out (sheltering that $25K annual salary from income taxes can be challenging). I admit to spitting up a little in my mouth when I watch “House Hunter”-type shows, and hear an appalled 21-year-old college dropout complain that the kitchen doesn’t have granite or stainless, and there’s only two bathrooms, and neither has double sinks!
Yes, I’m older than dirt, but I remember just wanting to get the hell out of my parents’ house at any cost. If an apartment had affordable rent and at least intermittent running water in its ONE 4′ x 3′ bathroom, I signed on the dotted line. Buying was something you saved for, and, when you bought, a substantial amount of your capital was in that property.
Just like Social Security and Medicare and some other entitlement programs have been expanded far beyond their original purposes and provisions, so has government funding of home ownership. I am alarmed by what appears to be the Feds filling the home financing void left by skittish financial institutions.
Do you know who it was in Congress that sponsored this recent initiative on the mortgage insurance increases? I never fail to be shocked by the appallingly low level of financial IQs among our elected officials. Is it possible that none of the large number that voted on this can comprehend what an increase of $450 and up will do to people’s ability to cover their monthly mortgage payment? And this is on top of the exorbitant hikes in property taxes in some areas where local governments are attempting to increase revenue.
Participant[quote=HLS]We aren’t dealing with too many people who think.
FHA is the new subprime. Without it, the houisng market would collapse.We are dealing with a society that has an entitlement attitude and thinks that their civil rights are violated if they can’t get a mortgage.
Greed and foolishness is rampant. People think they are looked down upon if they are a renter.The wise ones have been renters the last 5-6 years and have no money in the stock market. How UNAmerican is that ?
The recent move to “address risk” at FHA was if a credit score is below 580, you need 10% down. Above 580 3.50% down is still possible, and the seller can only contribute 3% of the sales price instead of 6%.
This is a very, very, sick situation.HLS, I’ve noticed what you term as the “entitlement attitude” also, and it doesn’t appear as though the rocky financial shoals we’ve been experiencing recently have been a deterrent to borrowers or lenders. I kept hearing that the days of zero percent down were over, but that’s not what I’m seeing. What I’m especially struck by is the attitude of very young adults (20-22) who are living with their parents, and insisting that they have to buy a house before they can move out (sheltering that $25K annual salary from income taxes can be challenging). I admit to spitting up a little in my mouth when I watch “House Hunter”-type shows, and hear an appalled 21-year-old college dropout complain that the kitchen doesn’t have granite or stainless, and there’s only two bathrooms, and neither has double sinks!
Yes, I’m older than dirt, but I remember just wanting to get the hell out of my parents’ house at any cost. If an apartment had affordable rent and at least intermittent running water in its ONE 4′ x 3′ bathroom, I signed on the dotted line. Buying was something you saved for, and, when you bought, a substantial amount of your capital was in that property.
Just like Social Security and Medicare and some other entitlement programs have been expanded far beyond their original purposes and provisions, so has government funding of home ownership. I am alarmed by what appears to be the Feds filling the home financing void left by skittish financial institutions.
Do you know who it was in Congress that sponsored this recent initiative on the mortgage insurance increases? I never fail to be shocked by the appallingly low level of financial IQs among our elected officials. Is it possible that none of the large number that voted on this can comprehend what an increase of $450 and up will do to people’s ability to cover their monthly mortgage payment? And this is on top of the exorbitant hikes in property taxes in some areas where local governments are attempting to increase revenue.
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