[carli]

UCGal hit the nail on the head when she said “$hit happens” and unfortunately you don’t have nearly enough in reserves to cover any $hit happening. I hate to fuel scaredy’s neuroses, but here’s a sampling of possibilities: 1) you or your wife get a cancer, MS or other awful diagnosis and you risk going beyond the cap of your health insurance or can’t pay for some treatment that isn’t covered by insurance, 2) your child grows up to have an eating disorder, mental health condition or substance abuse problem, all of which cost big bucks in rehab, most of which is not covered by health insurance, 3) you fall off the roof, get in a car accident or somehow have a traumatic brain injury, landing you in long-term rehab or with round-the-clock care to help with “ADL” (activities of daily living), all of which are not covered by health insurance but which your wife cannot provide and still say sane.

There are about a billion other things that could happen, including (and most likely) none of the above, but you get the picture. If you were to talk to an actuary or someone who evaluates risk for a living, they’d tell you that you (and especially your child) have FAR too long to live to be able to reasonably predict how much money you’ll need. The range is far too wide. So, in order to even get close to covering all scenarios, you’d of course need to provide far more in reserves than you currently have.

Of course, you could ignore those thoughts and just wing it, but like walter (scaredy), I’d be too stressed every time a glitch arose to be able to truly enjoy life.

Oh, yeah, one more thing – just wait until your kid grows up a bit and see how things get more and more expensive. Although you and your wife may be very committed to living simply, opportunities will come along involving your kid that you will not want to pass up. Camps, sports, lessons of some sort for some passion he/she develops. Of course you can prioritize these things, but it becomes impossible to ignore their passions as the kids grow and develop them. And then, of course, there’s college. Better hope for a scholarship or just count on community college, which your kid will have to pay for (not a terrible thing but it definitely limits his/her options).

Oh, and one more thing…the longer you’re out of work, the less able you are to get back into it. So if, after enjoying retirement for 10 years, it slowly occurs to you that you really left the rat race a little too early, good luck finding some meaningful income. Not only will your skills be outdated and you won’t be very marketable, but your motivation will not be there, and it will be a major psychological adjustment to settle for a position and income that almost seems not worth going to work for. Also, you’ll be living in an area where decent paying jobs are not exactly plentiful…then what do you do? Move to a more expensive area where you might have a better chance of getting a good-paying job?

Oh, and what if your “safe” investments, which you’re living off of, somehow plummet, even when you thought for sure that couldn’t happen? Meanwhile, you and your wife are feeling the stress, and the resentment is starting to build a bit, and she’s probably thinking, “But I thought you said we had enough to retire!”

Can you tell that I know some of this stuff firsthand? Sorry to be SUCH a downer because your dreams are important! Hang in there, and revisit your plan every year for at least the next 10 years. In the meantime, find work that you don’t dread doing every day, even if it’s not exactly what you want to be doing at every moment. Turn your planning into a game (with specific yearly goals and an end target) and see how quickly you can stockpile more than you think you need. Then, when you take the plunge to retirement, you can truly enjoy it.

[carli]

I assume you’ve also checked out parts of Del Mar? For example, here’s a listing on Durango Drive, which faces west, looking over Crest canyon (open space), and it might work well for you – http://www.sdlookup.com/MLS-100032211-13861_Durango_Dr_Del_Mar_CA_92014. It’s $1.39 mil, but if you don’t need that much square footage, you can find something in the $1mil range in this area. Check listings both north and south of Del Mar Heights Road, bordered by Crest Way to the west and Mango Drive to the east. If you’re interested, it’s easiest to check this area out by going to sdlookup.com and choosing the “map view”.

It’s a great neighborhood with lots of families and is walking distance to two award-winning elementary schools, Del Mar Heights and Del Mar Hills, both within 1/4 mile of each other. Both have a smaller, more intimate, but older feel than the newer Carmel Valley elementary schools but are also in Del Mar Union School District and have API scores in the same range as those mentioned in Carmel Valley. Lots of people in this neighborhood work at UCSD, which is probably about a 10-minute commute south on the Coast Highway and the bonus is that your wife would get to drive past breathtaking views of Torrey Pines State beach every day. We live in the area, have kids in the area schools, and have lots of close friends/neighbors here, and we absolutely love it. The houses are older than Carmel Valley but a little closer to the beach, the canyon, etc. If you’re up for it and if the houses in the area don’t meet your needs, you can also usually find a decent deal on a fixer and remodel/expand.

Good luck!

[carli]

I assume you’ve also checked out parts of Del Mar? For example, here’s a listing on Durango Drive, which faces west, looking over Crest canyon (open space), and it might work well for you – http://www.sdlookup.com/MLS-100032211-13861_Durango_Dr_Del_Mar_CA_92014. It’s $1.39 mil, but if you don’t need that much square footage, you can find something in the $1mil range in this area. Check listings both north and south of Del Mar Heights Road, bordered by Crest Way to the west and Mango Drive to the east. If you’re interested, it’s easiest to check this area out by going to sdlookup.com and choosing the “map view”.

It’s a great neighborhood with lots of families and is walking distance to two award-winning elementary schools, Del Mar Heights and Del Mar Hills, both within 1/4 mile of each other. Both have a smaller, more intimate, but older feel than the newer Carmel Valley elementary schools but are also in Del Mar Union School District and have API scores in the same range as those mentioned in Carmel Valley. Lots of people in this neighborhood work at UCSD, which is probably about a 10-minute commute south on the Coast Highway and the bonus is that your wife would get to drive past breathtaking views of Torrey Pines State beach every day. We live in the area, have kids in the area schools, and have lots of close friends/neighbors here, and we absolutely love it. The houses are older than Carmel Valley but a little closer to the beach, the canyon, etc. If you’re up for it and if the houses in the area don’t meet your needs, you can also usually find a decent deal on a fixer and remodel/expand.

Good luck!

[carli]

I assume you’ve also checked out parts of Del Mar? For example, here’s a listing on Durango Drive, which faces west, looking over Crest canyon (open space), and it might work well for you – http://www.sdlookup.com/MLS-100032211-13861_Durango_Dr_Del_Mar_CA_92014. It’s $1.39 mil, but if you don’t need that much square footage, you can find something in the $1mil range in this area. Check listings both north and south of Del Mar Heights Road, bordered by Crest Way to the west and Mango Drive to the east. If you’re interested, it’s easiest to check this area out by going to sdlookup.com and choosing the “map view”.

It’s a great neighborhood with lots of families and is walking distance to two award-winning elementary schools, Del Mar Heights and Del Mar Hills, both within 1/4 mile of each other. Both have a smaller, more intimate, but older feel than the newer Carmel Valley elementary schools but are also in Del Mar Union School District and have API scores in the same range as those mentioned in Carmel Valley. Lots of people in this neighborhood work at UCSD, which is probably about a 10-minute commute south on the Coast Highway and the bonus is that your wife would get to drive past breathtaking views of Torrey Pines State beach every day. We live in the area, have kids in the area schools, and have lots of close friends/neighbors here, and we absolutely love it. The houses are older than Carmel Valley but a little closer to the beach, the canyon, etc. If you’re up for it and if the houses in the area don’t meet your needs, you can also usually find a decent deal on a fixer and remodel/expand.

Good luck!

[carli]

I assume you’ve also checked out parts of Del Mar? For example, here’s a listing on Durango Drive, which faces west, looking over Crest canyon (open space), and it might work well for you – http://www.sdlookup.com/MLS-100032211-13861_Durango_Dr_Del_Mar_CA_92014. It’s $1.39 mil, but if you don’t need that much square footage, you can find something in the $1mil range in this area. Check listings both north and south of Del Mar Heights Road, bordered by Crest Way to the west and Mango Drive to the east. If you’re interested, it’s easiest to check this area out by going to sdlookup.com and choosing the “map view”.

It’s a great neighborhood with lots of families and is walking distance to two award-winning elementary schools, Del Mar Heights and Del Mar Hills, both within 1/4 mile of each other. Both have a smaller, more intimate, but older feel than the newer Carmel Valley elementary schools but are also in Del Mar Union School District and have API scores in the same range as those mentioned in Carmel Valley. Lots of people in this neighborhood work at UCSD, which is probably about a 10-minute commute south on the Coast Highway and the bonus is that your wife would get to drive past breathtaking views of Torrey Pines State beach every day. We live in the area, have kids in the area schools, and have lots of close friends/neighbors here, and we absolutely love it. The houses are older than Carmel Valley but a little closer to the beach, the canyon, etc. If you’re up for it and if the houses in the area don’t meet your needs, you can also usually find a decent deal on a fixer and remodel/expand.

Good luck!

[carli]

I assume you’ve also checked out parts of Del Mar? For example, here’s a listing on Durango Drive, which faces west, looking over Crest canyon (open space), and it might work well for you – http://www.sdlookup.com/MLS-100032211-13861_Durango_Dr_Del_Mar_CA_92014. It’s $1.39 mil, but if you don’t need that much square footage, you can find something in the $1mil range in this area. Check listings both north and south of Del Mar Heights Road, bordered by Crest Way to the west and Mango Drive to the east. If you’re interested, it’s easiest to check this area out by going to sdlookup.com and choosing the “map view”.

It’s a great neighborhood with lots of families and is walking distance to two award-winning elementary schools, Del Mar Heights and Del Mar Hills, both within 1/4 mile of each other. Both have a smaller, more intimate, but older feel than the newer Carmel Valley elementary schools but are also in Del Mar Union School District and have API scores in the same range as those mentioned in Carmel Valley. Lots of people in this neighborhood work at UCSD, which is probably about a 10-minute commute south on the Coast Highway and the bonus is that your wife would get to drive past breathtaking views of Torrey Pines State beach every day. We live in the area, have kids in the area schools, and have lots of close friends/neighbors here, and we absolutely love it. The houses are older than Carmel Valley but a little closer to the beach, the canyon, etc. If you’re up for it and if the houses in the area don’t meet your needs, you can also usually find a decent deal on a fixer and remodel/expand.

Good luck!

[carli]

Funny you say that because that’s just where we moved from, and we’ve chosen to raise our kids here…not because we have some sort of strong philosophical preference for the west coast, but because we found this area to be a very comfortable, fun, outdoorsy place to be. Since we knew we’d always want to spend significant time in both places, it basically came down to the fact that, for now, we’d rather live here and travel to there a few times a year than the other way around.

Also, we were pretty burnt out on the go-go-go work life of NYC, which can definitely take its toll. In comparison, we felt like we could live a healthier life here because we get to spend more active time outdoors. I guess these decisions depend a lot on one’s perspective and stage in life, and there are always tradeoffs.

And, believe me, having grown up there, for most people, the comfortable suburb outside NYC ends up being your own little bubble, with most families taking forays into the city for shows or various special occasions, always meaning to go in more often but somehow never getting around to it. Once they have families, no matter their intentions, very few end up taking advantage of all that cultural diversity on a consistent basis. Most adults work in the city, but then commute back home to the suburbs.

Anyway, I see advantages/disadvantages to raising kids on either coast, and think it’s important to expose them to all kinds of people and cultures no matter where they grow up. Also – never mind the kids! – for my own sanity, I need to expose myself to all kinds of peoples and cultures.

[carli]

Funny you say that because that’s just where we moved from, and we’ve chosen to raise our kids here…not because we have some sort of strong philosophical preference for the west coast, but because we found this area to be a very comfortable, fun, outdoorsy place to be. Since we knew we’d always want to spend significant time in both places, it basically came down to the fact that, for now, we’d rather live here and travel to there a few times a year than the other way around.

Also, we were pretty burnt out on the go-go-go work life of NYC, which can definitely take its toll. In comparison, we felt like we could live a healthier life here because we get to spend more active time outdoors. I guess these decisions depend a lot on one’s perspective and stage in life, and there are always tradeoffs.

And, believe me, having grown up there, for most people, the comfortable suburb outside NYC ends up being your own little bubble, with most families taking forays into the city for shows or various special occasions, always meaning to go in more often but somehow never getting around to it. Once they have families, no matter their intentions, very few end up taking advantage of all that cultural diversity on a consistent basis. Most adults work in the city, but then commute back home to the suburbs.

Anyway, I see advantages/disadvantages to raising kids on either coast, and think it’s important to expose them to all kinds of people and cultures no matter where they grow up. Also – never mind the kids! – for my own sanity, I need to expose myself to all kinds of peoples and cultures.

[carli]

Funny you say that because that’s just where we moved from, and we’ve chosen to raise our kids here…not because we have some sort of strong philosophical preference for the west coast, but because we found this area to be a very comfortable, fun, outdoorsy place to be. Since we knew we’d always want to spend significant time in both places, it basically came down to the fact that, for now, we’d rather live here and travel to there a few times a year than the other way around.

Also, we were pretty burnt out on the go-go-go work life of NYC, which can definitely take its toll. In comparison, we felt like we could live a healthier life here because we get to spend more active time outdoors. I guess these decisions depend a lot on one’s perspective and stage in life, and there are always tradeoffs.

And, believe me, having grown up there, for most people, the comfortable suburb outside NYC ends up being your own little bubble, with most families taking forays into the city for shows or various special occasions, always meaning to go in more often but somehow never getting around to it. Once they have families, no matter their intentions, very few end up taking advantage of all that cultural diversity on a consistent basis. Most adults work in the city, but then commute back home to the suburbs.

Anyway, I see advantages/disadvantages to raising kids on either coast, and think it’s important to expose them to all kinds of people and cultures no matter where they grow up. Also – never mind the kids! – for my own sanity, I need to expose myself to all kinds of peoples and cultures.

[carli]

Funny you say that because that’s just where we moved from, and we’ve chosen to raise our kids here…not because we have some sort of strong philosophical preference for the west coast, but because we found this area to be a very comfortable, fun, outdoorsy place to be. Since we knew we’d always want to spend significant time in both places, it basically came down to the fact that, for now, we’d rather live here and travel to there a few times a year than the other way around.

Also, we were pretty burnt out on the go-go-go work life of NYC, which can definitely take its toll. In comparison, we felt like we could live a healthier life here because we get to spend more active time outdoors. I guess these decisions depend a lot on one’s perspective and stage in life, and there are always tradeoffs.

And, believe me, having grown up there, for most people, the comfortable suburb outside NYC ends up being your own little bubble, with most families taking forays into the city for shows or various special occasions, always meaning to go in more often but somehow never getting around to it. Once they have families, no matter their intentions, very few end up taking advantage of all that cultural diversity on a consistent basis. Most adults work in the city, but then commute back home to the suburbs.

Anyway, I see advantages/disadvantages to raising kids on either coast, and think it’s important to expose them to all kinds of people and cultures no matter where they grow up. Also – never mind the kids! – for my own sanity, I need to expose myself to all kinds of peoples and cultures.

[carli]

Funny you say that because that’s just where we moved from, and we’ve chosen to raise our kids here…not because we have some sort of strong philosophical preference for the west coast, but because we found this area to be a very comfortable, fun, outdoorsy place to be. Since we knew we’d always want to spend significant time in both places, it basically came down to the fact that, for now, we’d rather live here and travel to there a few times a year than the other way around.

Also, we were pretty burnt out on the go-go-go work life of NYC, which can definitely take its toll. In comparison, we felt like we could live a healthier life here because we get to spend more active time outdoors. I guess these decisions depend a lot on one’s perspective and stage in life, and there are always tradeoffs.

And, believe me, having grown up there, for most people, the comfortable suburb outside NYC ends up being your own little bubble, with most families taking forays into the city for shows or various special occasions, always meaning to go in more often but somehow never getting around to it. Once they have families, no matter their intentions, very few end up taking advantage of all that cultural diversity on a consistent basis. Most adults work in the city, but then commute back home to the suburbs.

Anyway, I see advantages/disadvantages to raising kids on either coast, and think it’s important to expose them to all kinds of people and cultures no matter where they grow up. Also – never mind the kids! – for my own sanity, I need to expose myself to all kinds of peoples and cultures.

[carli]

You wrote, “we’re trying to find a climate that is as similar to here as possible” but unfortunately, I don’t think there is an east coast beach climate even remotely similar to here. As someone who grew up in coastal Connecticut and vacationed up and down the east coast my entire life (and has now lived in SoCal near the beach for 7-8 yrs), I can tell you there is no comparison in terms of climate.

The biggest difference is the humidity. If you’re used to the dry CA air, you will suffer mightily in the east coast humidity. It can really zap your energy.

In addition, there just isn’t the same amount of sunshine. It’s very frustrating to plan a BBQ and have it be rained out, or to wait through a long winter of crappy weather only to be greeted with a rainy spring that then turns into a rainy summer. These things happen on the east coast, and frequently!

Granted, there are lots of other reasons to consider living on the east coast (many of which have already been debated here), and I’m a big fan of the east coast and miss it dearly, but for me, the climate here is the big swing factor. If you’re a lifelong Californian, I’d encourage you to think long and hard before making such a move if your hope is for a “similar climate” because it just doesn’t exist, and that’s difficult to fully realize until you’ve lived in both places and experienced it firsthand. At the very least, you’ll want to take an extended vacation there, especially in the summer months, to see how it feels. Best of luck!

[carli]

You wrote, “we’re trying to find a climate that is as similar to here as possible” but unfortunately, I don’t think there is an east coast beach climate even remotely similar to here. As someone who grew up in coastal Connecticut and vacationed up and down the east coast my entire life (and has now lived in SoCal near the beach for 7-8 yrs), I can tell you there is no comparison in terms of climate.

The biggest difference is the humidity. If you’re used to the dry CA air, you will suffer mightily in the east coast humidity. It can really zap your energy.

In addition, there just isn’t the same amount of sunshine. It’s very frustrating to plan a BBQ and have it be rained out, or to wait through a long winter of crappy weather only to be greeted with a rainy spring that then turns into a rainy summer. These things happen on the east coast, and frequently!

Granted, there are lots of other reasons to consider living on the east coast (many of which have already been debated here), and I’m a big fan of the east coast and miss it dearly, but for me, the climate here is the big swing factor. If you’re a lifelong Californian, I’d encourage you to think long and hard before making such a move if your hope is for a “similar climate” because it just doesn’t exist, and that’s difficult to fully realize until you’ve lived in both places and experienced it firsthand. At the very least, you’ll want to take an extended vacation there, especially in the summer months, to see how it feels. Best of luck!

[carli]

You wrote, “we’re trying to find a climate that is as similar to here as possible” but unfortunately, I don’t think there is an east coast beach climate even remotely similar to here. As someone who grew up in coastal Connecticut and vacationed up and down the east coast my entire life (and has now lived in SoCal near the beach for 7-8 yrs), I can tell you there is no comparison in terms of climate.

The biggest difference is the humidity. If you’re used to the dry CA air, you will suffer mightily in the east coast humidity. It can really zap your energy.

In addition, there just isn’t the same amount of sunshine. It’s very frustrating to plan a BBQ and have it be rained out, or to wait through a long winter of crappy weather only to be greeted with a rainy spring that then turns into a rainy summer. These things happen on the east coast, and frequently!

Granted, there are lots of other reasons to consider living on the east coast (many of which have already been debated here), and I’m a big fan of the east coast and miss it dearly, but for me, the climate here is the big swing factor. If you’re a lifelong Californian, I’d encourage you to think long and hard before making such a move if your hope is for a “similar climate” because it just doesn’t exist, and that’s difficult to fully realize until you’ve lived in both places and experienced it firsthand. At the very least, you’ll want to take an extended vacation there, especially in the summer months, to see how it feels. Best of luck!

[carli]

You wrote, “we’re trying to find a climate that is as similar to here as possible” but unfortunately, I don’t think there is an east coast beach climate even remotely similar to here. As someone who grew up in coastal Connecticut and vacationed up and down the east coast my entire life (and has now lived in SoCal near the beach for 7-8 yrs), I can tell you there is no comparison in terms of climate.

The biggest difference is the humidity. If you’re used to the dry CA air, you will suffer mightily in the east coast humidity. It can really zap your energy.

In addition, there just isn’t the same amount of sunshine. It’s very frustrating to plan a BBQ and have it be rained out, or to wait through a long winter of crappy weather only to be greeted with a rainy spring that then turns into a rainy summer. These things happen on the east coast, and frequently!

Granted, there are lots of other reasons to consider living on the east coast (many of which have already been debated here), and I’m a big fan of the east coast and miss it dearly, but for me, the climate here is the big swing factor. If you’re a lifelong Californian, I’d encourage you to think long and hard before making such a move if your hope is for a “similar climate” because it just doesn’t exist, and that’s difficult to fully realize until you’ve lived in both places and experienced it firsthand. At the very least, you’ll want to take an extended vacation there, especially in the summer months, to see how it feels. Best of luck!

[Author]

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