[CA renter]

[quote=svelte]…pleads guilty to felony stalking, now awaiting sentencing on Jan 9th…

http://www.10news.com/news/ex-mother-of-the-year-kathy-rowe-pleads-guilty-to-stalking-homeowner-who-bought-carmel-valley-home-11242014%5B/quote%5D

That’s a shame. She should have gone down for solicitation for rape/sodomy. She and/or her attorney knew that a jury, not to mention a vast swath of the population, would love to see her hang. She deserves so much worse for what she did.

[CA renter]

And you didn’t “gain nothing,” brian. You gained the knowledge (not to mention the peace of mind) that you didn’t have melanoma. Trust me on this…you do NOT want to blow something off because of some jacked-up belief about medical care only to find out later that it was melanoma. I cannot begin to tell you how very regrettable that decision was for so many people.

[CA renter]

[quote=bearishgurl][quote=FlyerInHi][quote=CA renter]Great to hear it’s not cancer in both of your cases. 🙂

Yeah, it takes a while for the biopsy site to heal, but it’s always a good idea to get anything unusual checked out.[/quote]

FYI, insurance was charged $1198 for biopsy. I think you estimated $500.

I hate going to the doctor’s and using up resources for nothing, when I gain nothing.

I don’t see why people are so uptight about discussing medical costs. They should not be so opaque.[/quote]

Ironic that you posted this, FIH, and my Blue Shield file is sitting right here on my desk!

My ins was actually charged $578 for two visits plus a biopsy. But the EOB’s and bills indicate that $144.40 was pd by my ins co (per contract) and I paid $88.38 in copays/coinsurance for a total of $232.78.

Medical providers always charge a lot when they code procedures/visits for billing purposes but end up settling for the contracted amount from the carrier, whatever that may be. The rest is the responsibility of the patient.[/quote]

Brian, that is pure insanity! My family has a very high melanoma risk, so I am on a six-month exam schedule and often have at least one biopsy a year. You are being robbed.

I’m looking at my dermatologist bill right now, and the office visit was *billed* at $114; first biopsy at $168.00; and second biopsy at $51.00. The Blue Cross adjustment was ~$178.88, and they paid $113.97 with a $20 co-pay and $20.15 co-insurance payment from me.

Summary: $40.15 paid by me, and $113.97 paid by Blue Cross for the exam and two biopsies. Total of $154.12.

The dermatologist billed $306.00 for the pathology exam for these two specimens. Blue Cross adjustment of $113.30 and payment of $154.16. Co-insurance paid by me was $38.54.

Summary: $192.70 for pathology for *two* specimens

Total cost for full-body exam, and biopsy/pathology exam for TWO sites was $346.82.

——————

And, yes, I could not agree more about the need for **fully transparent** pricing for medical care. What they do now is totally unjustifiable from a business perspective, not to mention completely unethical and immoral.

[CA renter]

Other than your beliefs about sex offenders and the work ethic of SAHPs (and it seems I know quite a few more than you do), I agree with some of the points in your post. The problem is that you’re ignoring a lot, too. **Very few** divorced people can afford to live “in the manner to which they have become accustomed,” irrespective of their work/SAH status. That’s because the family pie is being divided, and without having a new source of income (new spouse, inheritance, unexpected raise, etc.), BOTH parties will be living on less while having to support TWO households after the divorce with the same amount of assets/income.

I know countless people, both men and women, who were working full-time throughout their marriages who NEVER got back to where they were before the divorce. That’s because most people in a marriage, especially a first marriage with shared children, do not consider their family estate as only being half theirs (or any other percentage). They think of the family’s estate as being ALL theirs because they think of themselves as part of a single family unit. That’s why everybody feels ripped off in a divorce — nearly EVERYBODY is made financially worse off after a divorce because you are receiving a fraction of the income/asset pie, but adding so many other expenses as a result of running two households instead of one. Most married people are just scraping by today; it’s not the least bit surprising that divorced people are struggling even more.

But I would agree with you that a second (or subsequent) marriage — especially where there are children from prior marriages — is different from a first marriage where both parents are having their first children together, and where they’ve not yet reached max wealth/income-earning capacity. Both people in a new second+ marriage need to protect the interests of their individual children (just IMO, as I know some people think that parents should throw their children to the wolves and not consider their prior children’s interests in estate planning if the parents divorce and remarry). Subsequent marriages are a totally different deal unless the new spouse is working full-time caring for their spouse’s children or parents, in which case they should be fully compensated in the event of a divorce.

But you still didn’t treat zk appropriately, and you most definitely twisted his words and claimed that he was saying things that he absolutely never said. I’ve been on the receiving end of that sort of treatment, so know how frustrating it is. I will defend posters whenever I see that sort of behavior; it degrades the conversation, and is totally unfair to the posters who are victimized by it.

[CA renter]

[quote=FlyerInHi]About people living messed up lives being messy, I would be interested in tagging along with law enforcement officers serving warrants. I could be wrong, but somehow, I doubt that more that 5% of the houses are clean.

To be precise, saying messed-up people are messy is not the same saying messy people are messed-up.[/quote]

Agree, the first paragraph is probably true (though there are plenty of OCD types who commit some horrific crimes), but your second paragraph is really the most important point.

[CA renter]

[quote=FlyerInHi]

Think more objectively. What if you walk into a messy house that nobody had cleaned up in while. What would you think of the family? Would you let your kids go over to a house where packing boxes and junk are laying all over?

Of course there are degrees of messiness. But messes don’t improve, they get worse over time.

[/quote]

While I personally do not like dirt, clutter, and chaos; I would allow our kids to play at another family’s home if we felt that the family was of good character and our children would be safe. I knew a few families growing up that had tons of kids (the stereotypical Catholic Italians, for instance), and often had a messy house as a result, but the families were so warm and wonderful that I would greatly regret not being able to befriend/visit with these people because my (VERY tidy) mother thought their houses were too messy. They were some of the greatest, most generous and caring people I’ve ever known in my life (my exceedingly tidy Germanic mother, not so much).

And messes do not necessarily get worse over time unless you’re talking about compulsive hoarding where things tend to build up over time. Most “messy” people do indeed clean; they just tend to have a longer time horizon than people like you and me.

[CA renter]

Not sure where I wasn’t advocating for my DH…would you mind clarifying, please?

As for being fussy with finances, I mean that I like to track everything, and everything has to balance perfectly to the penny. I don’t require him to justify all of his spending, and he doesn’t do that to me, either…though we always consult with each other on larger purchases and regularly discuss the state of our finances. I run reports regularly and we review all of our income, assets, expenditures, etc. I think it’s incredibly important to do this in a marriage.

A ski trip is a larger expense, assuming you’re talking about overnight trips; and even if it’s not an overnight/longer trip, it’s still important to discuss this with one’s spouse. I think most successfully married people would agree that something like this needs to be run by the other spouse. That’s not being a wimp, it’s being a considerate and responsible spouse. No offense, Brian, but you should definitely NOT get married if you really think the way you’re writing here.

[CA renter]

Awesome news about your eldest, svelte!!!

Would you mind sharing his/her major with us? I think many of us are pretty worried about world our children will be inheriting from us.

[CA renter]

That’s because you can neither read nor reason.

(edited to add: That’s for pri/harvey)

[CA renter]

[quote=AN][quote=flu]The first step to saving a lot of money off or your groceries is shopping at places like Zion Markets off of clairemont instead of places like Vons or Ralph’s at full price.

I think the last time I was there at Zion, I bought 3lbs of peaches for like 89 cents total, when Vons and Ralph’s were selling peaches for like $1.50 per pound…

And yes folks, they were USA peaches, not grown in China…

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2013/jun/25/zion-market-san-diego-relocation-clairemont-mesa/%5B/quote%5D
Exactly. Here’s Zion’s sale for this week:
http://www.zionmarket.com/sale/store1.htm

You can get 4.4lb box of Korean grape for $7.99, 7lb of lobok for $0.99, 3lb of Fuji apple for $0.99, 4lb of Kabocha squash for $0.99, 2lb of persimmon for $0.99.

As for those who say, you can’t have steak and potato and live with that budget. Of course you can’t. That’s like saying I can’t afford a house in Carmel Valley while making $100k/year, so it’s impossible to buy a house. There are many ways to live with your budget. You just have to open your eyes and your mind.[/quote]

We don’t eat steak and potatoes except for once a month or two. Our standard fare is chicken, fish, turkey (ground), veggies, fruit, and dairy (this is expensive and “bad for you,” apparently, but we aren’t going to give up dairy or coffee). We not only try to stay away from potatoes as much as possible, but also try to keep other starches, like pasta/noodles, at a minimum. So, our diets are largely protein and produce. Admittedly, we do not nibble tenderly on a small portion of salad…I’ve been known to eat a whole Pyrex bowl full of salad filled with herbs, healthy lettuces, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, carrots, celery, olive oil, salt/pepper, and balsamic vinaigrette (a staple of mine). We are not dainty eaters, even though we eat mostly healthy foods. It’s not cheap.

We don’t have a Zion Market around here, unfortunately, and all of our grocery stores probably practice that “pricing discrimination” where people in nicer areas tend to get better food/produce for a higher price. Our local Henry’s used to be better priced, but since the merger/buyout/IPO, it seems to have gotten more expensive.

Thanks for the recipes, AN. I’m still striving to become more like you and UCGal as far as grocery shopping is concerned, even if I never get there completely.

[CA renter]

Read the topic of the thread and the following comments, troll (with the reading comprehension problems).

[CA renter]

Would you mind sharing your recipe, AN? 🙂

We still struggle (a lot) with the grocery bills. We are nowhere near $500/month with our family of five. Does this include things like paper towels, toilet paper, soap, shampoo, deodorant, etc., etc.? Sometimes, our grocery store has a better price than places like Target, so we sometimes buy these items at the grocery store.

You and UCGal were really inspiring me to become more thrifty with groceries, but it’s just not happening in real life. It might not help that we often have other kids here for dinner. We love having others over to eat, so won’t give it up, but it does affect our bills a bit. I still think that our family is the main culprit, though; we really like good food.

[CA renter]

[quote=harvey]
Odd … I thought you said you were a manager for a tech company. Doesn’t that make you a tool of the employer? Either way, you should probably brush up on your knowledge of employment law…[/quote]

This topic was not limited to California corporations.

Here is a list of the states and how non-compete agreements are viewed in each state.

http://www.beckreedriden.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Noncompetes-50-State-Survey-Chart-20130814.pdf

As always, you need to brush up on your reading comprehension skills.

[CA renter]

I’ll help run your campaign. 😉

[CA renter]

[quote=bearishgurl]

zk, your insults to me on this thread don’t bother me but are very telling about you. Why don’t you endeavor to just stick to the topic at hand and refrain from hurling insults at people who don’t have the same opinions that you do? The examples you gave about yourself here are fine. It’s perfectly legal to be “messy” (and have a partner who will pick up after them). We get it. OTOH, it’s okay for FIH/brian and others to consider themselves “superior” to messy people because they are clean and tidy.[/quote]

What about when you insult people because they don’t share your same priorities regarding housing choices, family characteristics, etc.

Things like this little nugget…

[quote=bearishgurl]

There was a recent discussion here about how “valuable” SAHP’s are to society. I do understand that there are some very good household managers out there but in my experience, I have seen more SAHP’s do little to nothing to “earn their keep” than ones that do (except spend money). This isn’t to negate in any way, shape or form that personal choice, but I just haven’t seen any really spectacular household mgrs who are SAHP’s. On the other hand, I’ve seen several GREAT household mgrs who had full time careers while raising children (that doesn’t mean they did everything themselves).

[/quote]

Talk about insulting, ignorant stereotyping. So the majority of SAHPs have messy houses, don’t work, and just spend their family’s money?!? I can show you the exact opposite all day long. This is truly the sort of ignorant ranting of yours that gets my blood boiling.

Still waiting for those numbers to show how the second income-earner in a household is making a positive income (which you seem to think is the most important thing a parent can do, and the only valuable contribution a parent/spouse can make), especially when small children (or even elderly parents/chronically ill family members) are involved.

[Author]

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