too blunt?

[Coronita]

Blunt I think is fine. Being unrefined however might rub people the wrong way…I think you need to remove some of the decorative adjectives…..

My comments below…. (I’m not an engrish major, so you can wordsmith it)…

———————————————–
Mr. (client name deleted).

(agent name deleted) has asked me to email you the photos we have of your property.

They are attached to this email.

In the interest in helping you sell your property with the best selling price, I want to make the following suggestions and comments:

1)The photos you’ve included do not present your home well. We need photos that show the best parts of your home.

2) The property needs to be painted. Also, we must do something to prevent the property from constantly being vandalized with graffii

3) The front yard needs to be cleaned up and personal items need to be picked up and cleaned

4) The large, aggressive dogs must be removed from the premises, as it is intimidating potential buyers from looking.

5) It is priced too high, above comparable homes in the same area.

The issues #1-5 I indicated above are preventing this home from showing well and being considered by potential buyers. This home is has immense potential if these things are addressed.

It gets lots of looks online. Loopnet shows a view count of 676 views in the last 30 days. This means it is getting looked at regularly.
It also means it is getting looked at approximately 650-700 times per month (just on Loopnet) or about 23 times per day.

However, as I mentioned, it is getting and dismissed by possible buyers and by their agents due to the problems I indicated above… and it is overpriced.

I strongly recommend that you
-lower the price (at least to a point where you are competitive with the nearby listings)
-repaint the house and hire either a security guard or a handyman to deal with the graffiti

-take a hard line with the tenants about keeping the exterior clean and tidy

-please take pictures that show this home in better light. The current pictures does not portray the home in it’s full potential, so I am advising you to find retake pictures of the home that highlight it’s best parts. If you need someone to offer some critique of the pictures, I’ll be happy assist.

This might seem like a lot of things I’m suggesting. However, I just want to make sure that your home is prepared so that it can unlock the best selling price possible. While I understand you also want your asking price, unfortunately, your home will not sell with your asking price given the current market conditions and in it’s current state….So consider either lowering the asking price or making the improvements I suggested or (preferably) both….We simply cannot sell your home in it’s current condition, at the price you are asking for…

As always, we value your business.
Thank you.

[KIBU]

I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.

[KIBU]

I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.

[KIBU]

I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.

[KIBU]

I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.

[KIBU]

I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.[/quote]

Daughter and mother’s night out. 🙂 Or I should say. My day off….Even went to miramar speed circuit today.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.[/quote]

Daughter and mother’s night out. 🙂 Or I should say. My day off….Even went to miramar speed circuit today.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.[/quote]

Daughter and mother’s night out. 🙂 Or I should say. My day off….Even went to miramar speed circuit today.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.[/quote]

Daughter and mother’s night out. 🙂 Or I should say. My day off….Even went to miramar speed circuit today.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]I give FLU an A for editing the mail.

By the way FLU, I thought you have kids and a wife to take care, what the heck you are doing spending time rewriting the whole letter for??? I bet if your wife know about this, you can be in the living room tonight. She must be thinking you are working.[/quote]

Daughter and mother’s night out. 🙂 Or I should say. My day off….Even went to miramar speed circuit today.

[bob2007]

Lets say you are 100% correct on all the issues (and it sounds like you are from your argument).

Whenever someone prefaces something with “am I too blunt”, what it usually means is that they have the truth to tell, but are going to do it in a derogatory way.

In this case, your frustration comes straight though, and being in the real estate business that is understandable. I have written emails with a similar level of frustration, and it does seem to help to blow off some steam.

Since you asked for opinions, what I do is then decide if I want the business or not. If I don’t, then I write a very short reply letting them know I cannot accept the business. I am not blunt or derogatory, because at this point I don’t care any more.

If I want the business I write a letter similar to the flu edits, but I usually start over. I then write a positive but firm letter with the intent of persuading them to do the right thing and winning the business for myself.

For example,

Dear xxxx,

We would like to represent your property, but in my professional opinion some major changes would be required in maintenance and marketing.

The property is receiving xxx views but no further contact. This occurs when the presentation is poor and the asking price is high.

The specific maintenance items that need to be addressed are:
. paint
. dogs
. etc…

Based on your comps, the recommended selling price is: xxxx

Again, we would like to represent you in the sale of your property, but unless these items are addressed we will be unable to do so.

Love,

urbanrealtor

(not sure about the love)

[bob2007]

Lets say you are 100% correct on all the issues (and it sounds like you are from your argument).

Whenever someone prefaces something with “am I too blunt”, what it usually means is that they have the truth to tell, but are going to do it in a derogatory way.

In this case, your frustration comes straight though, and being in the real estate business that is understandable. I have written emails with a similar level of frustration, and it does seem to help to blow off some steam.

Since you asked for opinions, what I do is then decide if I want the business or not. If I don’t, then I write a very short reply letting them know I cannot accept the business. I am not blunt or derogatory, because at this point I don’t care any more.

If I want the business I write a letter similar to the flu edits, but I usually start over. I then write a positive but firm letter with the intent of persuading them to do the right thing and winning the business for myself.

For example,

Dear xxxx,

We would like to represent your property, but in my professional opinion some major changes would be required in maintenance and marketing.

The property is receiving xxx views but no further contact. This occurs when the presentation is poor and the asking price is high.

The specific maintenance items that need to be addressed are:
. paint
. dogs
. etc…

Based on your comps, the recommended selling price is: xxxx

Again, we would like to represent you in the sale of your property, but unless these items are addressed we will be unable to do so.

Love,

urbanrealtor

(not sure about the love)

[bob2007]

Lets say you are 100% correct on all the issues (and it sounds like you are from your argument).

Whenever someone prefaces something with “am I too blunt”, what it usually means is that they have the truth to tell, but are going to do it in a derogatory way.

In this case, your frustration comes straight though, and being in the real estate business that is understandable. I have written emails with a similar level of frustration, and it does seem to help to blow off some steam.

Since you asked for opinions, what I do is then decide if I want the business or not. If I don’t, then I write a very short reply letting them know I cannot accept the business. I am not blunt or derogatory, because at this point I don’t care any more.

If I want the business I write a letter similar to the flu edits, but I usually start over. I then write a positive but firm letter with the intent of persuading them to do the right thing and winning the business for myself.

For example,

Dear xxxx,

We would like to represent your property, but in my professional opinion some major changes would be required in maintenance and marketing.

The property is receiving xxx views but no further contact. This occurs when the presentation is poor and the asking price is high.

The specific maintenance items that need to be addressed are:
. paint
. dogs
. etc…

Based on your comps, the recommended selling price is: xxxx

Again, we would like to represent you in the sale of your property, but unless these items are addressed we will be unable to do so.

Love,

urbanrealtor

(not sure about the love)

[bob2007]

Lets say you are 100% correct on all the issues (and it sounds like you are from your argument).

Whenever someone prefaces something with “am I too blunt”, what it usually means is that they have the truth to tell, but are going to do it in a derogatory way.

In this case, your frustration comes straight though, and being in the real estate business that is understandable. I have written emails with a similar level of frustration, and it does seem to help to blow off some steam.

Since you asked for opinions, what I do is then decide if I want the business or not. If I don’t, then I write a very short reply letting them know I cannot accept the business. I am not blunt or derogatory, because at this point I don’t care any more.

If I want the business I write a letter similar to the flu edits, but I usually start over. I then write a positive but firm letter with the intent of persuading them to do the right thing and winning the business for myself.

For example,

Dear xxxx,

We would like to represent your property, but in my professional opinion some major changes would be required in maintenance and marketing.

The property is receiving xxx views but no further contact. This occurs when the presentation is poor and the asking price is high.

The specific maintenance items that need to be addressed are:
. paint
. dogs
. etc…

Based on your comps, the recommended selling price is: xxxx

Again, we would like to represent you in the sale of your property, but unless these items are addressed we will be unable to do so.

Love,

urbanrealtor

(not sure about the love)

[Author]

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