Tales of an RSF Buyer (Part 3)

[NotCranky]

Like nost I am much more of a homebody than my wife. She still “withholds” more than I do and I find it intolerable from a psychological maturity and fairness point of view and ask her to snap out of it. Since she realizes this is her short coming she does. Of course being an amateur psychologist I educated her gradually. My wife is the best but we are not perfect and should try harder than to put the silent treatment on IMO. (or other types of withholding). It is not healthy for the relationship which is more important than a house. Not saying this is your experience RD just my 2cents. I’d ask her to snap the hell out of it though.
Maybe there is more to the story. My wife dislikes my biggest short coming, my modest temper;).

Maybe next time you go out into the market be prepared not to vacilate so much. If I were her I would have killed you.

Good luck Raptorduck

[Coronita]

Wow, a bit of discussion about my wife. Not my intention to incite that.

I may not completely agree with her, but can understand her perspective. She is entitled to it. Spoiled is a relative term. We don't have nannies or servants. Some friends do, others don't.

Please don't call me rich, I work for a living. That is a word better used for people with far more capital than I have. I do well enough to buy what I can buy and provide for a large extended family, but that does not mean what most people think that it means. I know enough people with obscene amounts of money to be clear that I am not one of them.

If I have to work for my money rather than my money working for me to support my lifestyle, then by definition, I am not rich. I live below my means, but I have to work to support my means. That is not rich. If I loose my job, Houston we have a problem. After a few years of cushion I need to find a similar job to support my lifestyle or start slashing expenses.

A rich person does not need a job to support a lavish lifestyle. Donald Trump does not need his job, nor Bill Gates, nor many ibankers who lived below their means, nor trust fund kids, nor an inventor who sold his invention for $500 million. There are of course lots of folks who don't need jobs, because they live modestly and saved the little they did make. They are rich by another definition of rich, financial freedom. Lots of people who make gobs of money are not financially independent because they live above their means. I don't live above my means, but I am not financially independent either.

My wife may appear spoiled, and while she collects shoes and handbags like some people collect baseball cards and while she may be stay-at-home, she is not a lazy person, quite the contrary. Heck, I can be spoiled too. I have a wasteful obession with nice cars and watches. Nobody is perfect. She wants what she wants, simple as that. I am trying to give her that as long as it is within my boundries and means.

Neither my wife nor I were born into any kind of wealth. We grew up poor actually (not middle class, lower class). I am not ashamed of that, so have no problem saying it in an open public forum. Nothing builds character like the gift of struggle. I paid attention in school and did well and went to gobs and gobs of college and grad school paid for from work study and scholarships (not rich daddi) and then worked my butt off and tried to make smart decisions. It has worked out so far.

She will talk to me again, I hope. 😉

 

Comment to others who commented on the neediness of a RP's wife.

You know, when a wife is a stay-at-home mom (or any stay at home parent for that matter) and spends day in day out taking care of kid(s), often times remaining indoor at home, running errands, doing all sorts of crap that the other working parent normally doesn't have to deal with while at work or golfing with biz buddies, including but not limited to putting up with kids tempers, falling off of playgrounds, getting sick, and other crap a that can happen to one kid (let alone 3), all while coming home to nice warm dinner, you could probably understand why the stay at home wife/spouse *might* want to have a home she/he could call their own, at which point the entire financial aspects of renting versus buying sometimes gets shot out the window.

No, I'm not saying one shouldn't try to get a good deal. But not everything is black and white when there's someone else you have to think about who to some extent has made tradeoffs for you. If you've ever had to stay home at take care of a kid for two weeks yourself while you're spouse is on business, you'll quickly appreciate how difficult a true stay at home parent is, not to mention whatever financial/earning potential they sacrificed to be do it. For the record, not many women these days are willing to be full time stay at home moms, and the many who are currently stay-at-home didn't start out that way, but made a commitment to the family. Mot every stay at home spouse is a gold digger who didn't possess any skills and only married to be get "bailed out"….

And if you're single w/out kids or a dinc, great you don't have to deal with this and you can probably think of a home purchase in clearly in black and white financial terms.

I find that I'm often being the mr. mom and I can't count home many times I was pissed that I said "damnit honey, shut that damn work laptop". And my only free time outside of work is in the wee-hours at night.

 

[Coronita]

Wow, a bit of discussion about my wife. Not my intention to incite that.

I may not completely agree with her, but can understand her perspective. She is entitled to it. Spoiled is a relative term. We don't have nannies or servants. Some friends do, others don't.

Please don't call me rich, I work for a living. That is a word better used for people with far more capital than I have. I do well enough to buy what I can buy and provide for a large extended family, but that does not mean what most people think that it means. I know enough people with obscene amounts of money to be clear that I am not one of them.

If I have to work for my money rather than my money working for me to support my lifestyle, then by definition, I am not rich. I live below my means, but I have to work to support my means. That is not rich. If I loose my job, Houston we have a problem. After a few years of cushion I need to find a similar job to support my lifestyle or start slashing expenses.

A rich person does not need a job to support a lavish lifestyle. Donald Trump does not need his job, nor Bill Gates, nor many ibankers who lived below their means, nor trust fund kids, nor an inventor who sold his invention for $500 million. There are of course lots of folks who don't need jobs, because they live modestly and saved the little they did make. They are rich by another definition of rich, financial freedom. Lots of people who make gobs of money are not financially independent because they live above their means. I don't live above my means, but I am not financially independent either.

My wife may appear spoiled, and while she collects shoes and handbags like some people collect baseball cards and while she may be stay-at-home, she is not a lazy person, quite the contrary. Heck, I can be spoiled too. I have a wasteful obession with nice cars and watches. Nobody is perfect. She wants what she wants, simple as that. I am trying to give her that as long as it is within my boundries and means.

Neither my wife nor I were born into any kind of wealth. We grew up poor actually (not middle class, lower class). I am not ashamed of that, so have no problem saying it in an open public forum. Nothing builds character like the gift of struggle. I paid attention in school and did well and went to gobs and gobs of college and grad school paid for from work study and scholarships (not rich daddi) and then worked my butt off and tried to make smart decisions. It has worked out so far.

She will talk to me again, I hope. 😉

 

Comment to others who commented on the neediness of a RP's wife.

You know, when a wife is a stay-at-home mom (or any stay at home parent for that matter) and spends day in day out taking care of kid(s), often times remaining indoor at home, running errands, doing all sorts of crap that the other working parent normally doesn't have to deal with while at work or golfing with biz buddies, including but not limited to putting up with kids tempers, falling off of playgrounds, getting sick, and other crap a that can happen to one kid (let alone 3), all while coming home to nice warm dinner, you could probably understand why the stay at home wife/spouse *might* want to have a home she/he could call their own, at which point the entire financial aspects of renting versus buying sometimes gets shot out the window.

No, I'm not saying one shouldn't try to get a good deal. But not everything is black and white when there's someone else you have to think about who to some extent has made tradeoffs for you. If you've ever had to stay home at take care of a kid for two weeks yourself while you're spouse is on business, you'll quickly appreciate how difficult a true stay at home parent is, not to mention whatever financial/earning potential they sacrificed to be do it. For the record, not many women these days are willing to be full time stay at home moms, and the many who are currently stay-at-home didn't start out that way, but made a commitment to the family. Mot every stay at home spouse is a gold digger who didn't possess any skills and only married to be get "bailed out"….

And if you're single w/out kids or a dinc, great you don't have to deal with this and you can probably think of a home purchase in clearly in black and white financial terms.

I find that I'm often being the mr. mom and I can't count home many times I was pissed that I said "damnit honey, shut that damn work laptop". And my only free time outside of work is in the wee-hours at night.

 

[Coronita]

Wow, a bit of discussion about my wife. Not my intention to incite that.

I may not completely agree with her, but can understand her perspective. She is entitled to it. Spoiled is a relative term. We don't have nannies or servants. Some friends do, others don't.

Please don't call me rich, I work for a living. That is a word better used for people with far more capital than I have. I do well enough to buy what I can buy and provide for a large extended family, but that does not mean what most people think that it means. I know enough people with obscene amounts of money to be clear that I am not one of them.

If I have to work for my money rather than my money working for me to support my lifestyle, then by definition, I am not rich. I live below my means, but I have to work to support my means. That is not rich. If I loose my job, Houston we have a problem. After a few years of cushion I need to find a similar job to support my lifestyle or start slashing expenses.

A rich person does not need a job to support a lavish lifestyle. Donald Trump does not need his job, nor Bill Gates, nor many ibankers who lived below their means, nor trust fund kids, nor an inventor who sold his invention for $500 million. There are of course lots of folks who don't need jobs, because they live modestly and saved the little they did make. They are rich by another definition of rich, financial freedom. Lots of people who make gobs of money are not financially independent because they live above their means. I don't live above my means, but I am not financially independent either.

My wife may appear spoiled, and while she collects shoes and handbags like some people collect baseball cards and while she may be stay-at-home, she is not a lazy person, quite the contrary. Heck, I can be spoiled too. I have a wasteful obession with nice cars and watches. Nobody is perfect. She wants what she wants, simple as that. I am trying to give her that as long as it is within my boundries and means.

Neither my wife nor I were born into any kind of wealth. We grew up poor actually (not middle class, lower class). I am not ashamed of that, so have no problem saying it in an open public forum. Nothing builds character like the gift of struggle. I paid attention in school and did well and went to gobs and gobs of college and grad school paid for from work study and scholarships (not rich daddi) and then worked my butt off and tried to make smart decisions. It has worked out so far.

She will talk to me again, I hope. 😉

 

Comment to others who commented on the neediness of a RP's wife.

You know, when a wife is a stay-at-home mom (or any stay at home parent for that matter) and spends day in day out taking care of kid(s), often times remaining indoor at home, running errands, doing all sorts of crap that the other working parent normally doesn't have to deal with while at work or golfing with biz buddies, including but not limited to putting up with kids tempers, falling off of playgrounds, getting sick, and other crap a that can happen to one kid (let alone 3), all while coming home to nice warm dinner, you could probably understand why the stay at home wife/spouse *might* want to have a home she/he could call their own, at which point the entire financial aspects of renting versus buying sometimes gets shot out the window.

No, I'm not saying one shouldn't try to get a good deal. But not everything is black and white when there's someone else you have to think about who to some extent has made tradeoffs for you. If you've ever had to stay home at take care of a kid for two weeks yourself while you're spouse is on business, you'll quickly appreciate how difficult a true stay at home parent is, not to mention whatever financial/earning potential they sacrificed to be do it. For the record, not many women these days are willing to be full time stay at home moms, and the many who are currently stay-at-home didn't start out that way, but made a commitment to the family. Mot every stay at home spouse is a gold digger who didn't possess any skills and only married to be get "bailed out"….

And if you're single w/out kids or a dinc, great you don't have to deal with this and you can probably think of a home purchase in clearly in black and white financial terms.

I find that I'm often being the mr. mom and I can't count home many times I was pissed that I said "damnit honey, shut that damn work laptop". And my only free time outside of work is in the wee-hours at night.

 

[Coronita]

Wow, a bit of discussion about my wife. Not my intention to incite that.

I may not completely agree with her, but can understand her perspective. She is entitled to it. Spoiled is a relative term. We don't have nannies or servants. Some friends do, others don't.

Please don't call me rich, I work for a living. That is a word better used for people with far more capital than I have. I do well enough to buy what I can buy and provide for a large extended family, but that does not mean what most people think that it means. I know enough people with obscene amounts of money to be clear that I am not one of them.

If I have to work for my money rather than my money working for me to support my lifestyle, then by definition, I am not rich. I live below my means, but I have to work to support my means. That is not rich. If I loose my job, Houston we have a problem. After a few years of cushion I need to find a similar job to support my lifestyle or start slashing expenses.

A rich person does not need a job to support a lavish lifestyle. Donald Trump does not need his job, nor Bill Gates, nor many ibankers who lived below their means, nor trust fund kids, nor an inventor who sold his invention for $500 million. There are of course lots of folks who don't need jobs, because they live modestly and saved the little they did make. They are rich by another definition of rich, financial freedom. Lots of people who make gobs of money are not financially independent because they live above their means. I don't live above my means, but I am not financially independent either.

My wife may appear spoiled, and while she collects shoes and handbags like some people collect baseball cards and while she may be stay-at-home, she is not a lazy person, quite the contrary. Heck, I can be spoiled too. I have a wasteful obession with nice cars and watches. Nobody is perfect. She wants what she wants, simple as that. I am trying to give her that as long as it is within my boundries and means.

Neither my wife nor I were born into any kind of wealth. We grew up poor actually (not middle class, lower class). I am not ashamed of that, so have no problem saying it in an open public forum. Nothing builds character like the gift of struggle. I paid attention in school and did well and went to gobs and gobs of college and grad school paid for from work study and scholarships (not rich daddi) and then worked my butt off and tried to make smart decisions. It has worked out so far.

She will talk to me again, I hope. 😉

 

Comment to others who commented on the neediness of a RP's wife.

You know, when a wife is a stay-at-home mom (or any stay at home parent for that matter) and spends day in day out taking care of kid(s), often times remaining indoor at home, running errands, doing all sorts of crap that the other working parent normally doesn't have to deal with while at work or golfing with biz buddies, including but not limited to putting up with kids tempers, falling off of playgrounds, getting sick, and other crap a that can happen to one kid (let alone 3), all while coming home to nice warm dinner, you could probably understand why the stay at home wife/spouse *might* want to have a home she/he could call their own, at which point the entire financial aspects of renting versus buying sometimes gets shot out the window.

No, I'm not saying one shouldn't try to get a good deal. But not everything is black and white when there's someone else you have to think about who to some extent has made tradeoffs for you. If you've ever had to stay home at take care of a kid for two weeks yourself while you're spouse is on business, you'll quickly appreciate how difficult a true stay at home parent is, not to mention whatever financial/earning potential they sacrificed to be do it. For the record, not many women these days are willing to be full time stay at home moms, and the many who are currently stay-at-home didn't start out that way, but made a commitment to the family. Mot every stay at home spouse is a gold digger who didn't possess any skills and only married to be get "bailed out"….

And if you're single w/out kids or a dinc, great you don't have to deal with this and you can probably think of a home purchase in clearly in black and white financial terms.

I find that I'm often being the mr. mom and I can't count home many times I was pissed that I said "damnit honey, shut that damn work laptop". And my only free time outside of work is in the wee-hours at night.

 

[Coronita]

Wow, a bit of discussion about my wife. Not my intention to incite that.

I may not completely agree with her, but can understand her perspective. She is entitled to it. Spoiled is a relative term. We don't have nannies or servants. Some friends do, others don't.

Please don't call me rich, I work for a living. That is a word better used for people with far more capital than I have. I do well enough to buy what I can buy and provide for a large extended family, but that does not mean what most people think that it means. I know enough people with obscene amounts of money to be clear that I am not one of them.

If I have to work for my money rather than my money working for me to support my lifestyle, then by definition, I am not rich. I live below my means, but I have to work to support my means. That is not rich. If I loose my job, Houston we have a problem. After a few years of cushion I need to find a similar job to support my lifestyle or start slashing expenses.

A rich person does not need a job to support a lavish lifestyle. Donald Trump does not need his job, nor Bill Gates, nor many ibankers who lived below their means, nor trust fund kids, nor an inventor who sold his invention for $500 million. There are of course lots of folks who don't need jobs, because they live modestly and saved the little they did make. They are rich by another definition of rich, financial freedom. Lots of people who make gobs of money are not financially independent because they live above their means. I don't live above my means, but I am not financially independent either.

My wife may appear spoiled, and while she collects shoes and handbags like some people collect baseball cards and while she may be stay-at-home, she is not a lazy person, quite the contrary. Heck, I can be spoiled too. I have a wasteful obession with nice cars and watches. Nobody is perfect. She wants what she wants, simple as that. I am trying to give her that as long as it is within my boundries and means.

Neither my wife nor I were born into any kind of wealth. We grew up poor actually (not middle class, lower class). I am not ashamed of that, so have no problem saying it in an open public forum. Nothing builds character like the gift of struggle. I paid attention in school and did well and went to gobs and gobs of college and grad school paid for from work study and scholarships (not rich daddi) and then worked my butt off and tried to make smart decisions. It has worked out so far.

She will talk to me again, I hope. 😉

 

Comment to others who commented on the neediness of a RP's wife.

You know, when a wife is a stay-at-home mom (or any stay at home parent for that matter) and spends day in day out taking care of kid(s), often times remaining indoor at home, running errands, doing all sorts of crap that the other working parent normally doesn't have to deal with while at work or golfing with biz buddies, including but not limited to putting up with kids tempers, falling off of playgrounds, getting sick, and other crap a that can happen to one kid (let alone 3), all while coming home to nice warm dinner, you could probably understand why the stay at home wife/spouse *might* want to have a home she/he could call their own, at which point the entire financial aspects of renting versus buying sometimes gets shot out the window.

No, I'm not saying one shouldn't try to get a good deal. But not everything is black and white when there's someone else you have to think about who to some extent has made tradeoffs for you. If you've ever had to stay home at take care of a kid for two weeks yourself while you're spouse is on business, you'll quickly appreciate how difficult a true stay at home parent is, not to mention whatever financial/earning potential they sacrificed to be do it. For the record, not many women these days are willing to be full time stay at home moms, and the many who are currently stay-at-home didn't start out that way, but made a commitment to the family. Mot every stay at home spouse is a gold digger who didn't possess any skills and only married to be get "bailed out"….

And if you're single w/out kids or a dinc, great you don't have to deal with this and you can probably think of a home purchase in clearly in black and white financial terms.

I find that I'm often being the mr. mom and I can't count home many times I was pissed that I said "damnit honey, shut that damn work laptop". And my only free time outside of work is in the wee-hours at night.

 

[raptorduck]

jpinpb. I was not personally offended by these posts. If you are going to post openly on a public forum as I have, you better have think skin and a detached perspective. That is one reason why, unlike lots of Piggs, I actually don’t mind AlexAngel and welcome him here. He has been harsh to a post of two of mine, but I welcome his perspective.

I did feel a little bad for my wife, who did not ask to be the topic of a public debate so felt compelled to defend her some. I may be sleeping on the couch right now, but she is a keeper, trust me, and FLU’s comments ring true to me.

Imagine what she must say on her debate boards about her lunatic husband who insists on touring hundreds of homes before he makes up his mind and actually buys one. Lots of wives would not talk to me after that.

[raptorduck]

jpinpb. I was not personally offended by these posts. If you are going to post openly on a public forum as I have, you better have think skin and a detached perspective. That is one reason why, unlike lots of Piggs, I actually don’t mind AlexAngel and welcome him here. He has been harsh to a post of two of mine, but I welcome his perspective.

I did feel a little bad for my wife, who did not ask to be the topic of a public debate so felt compelled to defend her some. I may be sleeping on the couch right now, but she is a keeper, trust me, and FLU’s comments ring true to me.

Imagine what she must say on her debate boards about her lunatic husband who insists on touring hundreds of homes before he makes up his mind and actually buys one. Lots of wives would not talk to me after that.

[raptorduck]

jpinpb. I was not personally offended by these posts. If you are going to post openly on a public forum as I have, you better have think skin and a detached perspective. That is one reason why, unlike lots of Piggs, I actually don’t mind AlexAngel and welcome him here. He has been harsh to a post of two of mine, but I welcome his perspective.

I did feel a little bad for my wife, who did not ask to be the topic of a public debate so felt compelled to defend her some. I may be sleeping on the couch right now, but she is a keeper, trust me, and FLU’s comments ring true to me.

Imagine what she must say on her debate boards about her lunatic husband who insists on touring hundreds of homes before he makes up his mind and actually buys one. Lots of wives would not talk to me after that.

[raptorduck]

jpinpb. I was not personally offended by these posts. If you are going to post openly on a public forum as I have, you better have think skin and a detached perspective. That is one reason why, unlike lots of Piggs, I actually don’t mind AlexAngel and welcome him here. He has been harsh to a post of two of mine, but I welcome his perspective.

I did feel a little bad for my wife, who did not ask to be the topic of a public debate so felt compelled to defend her some. I may be sleeping on the couch right now, but she is a keeper, trust me, and FLU’s comments ring true to me.

Imagine what she must say on her debate boards about her lunatic husband who insists on touring hundreds of homes before he makes up his mind and actually buys one. Lots of wives would not talk to me after that.

[raptorduck]

jpinpb. I was not personally offended by these posts. If you are going to post openly on a public forum as I have, you better have think skin and a detached perspective. That is one reason why, unlike lots of Piggs, I actually don’t mind AlexAngel and welcome him here. He has been harsh to a post of two of mine, but I welcome his perspective.

I did feel a little bad for my wife, who did not ask to be the topic of a public debate so felt compelled to defend her some. I may be sleeping on the couch right now, but she is a keeper, trust me, and FLU’s comments ring true to me.

Imagine what she must say on her debate boards about her lunatic husband who insists on touring hundreds of homes before he makes up his mind and actually buys one. Lots of wives would not talk to me after that.

[jpinpb]

I’m sure as lucky as she is to have you, you are just as lucky to have someone so patient, as well, and in time, understanding of your caution in making such a major purchase. I also don’t think I said anything derogatory about her, or meant to. I said she’s lucky. That’s a good thing 🙂

I’m sure all your searches will be worth it and in time the just right dream home will come along at the price that makes sense and is worth it. Then you can look back and laugh at all this. Hopefully some laughing now along the way.

[jpinpb]

I’m sure as lucky as she is to have you, you are just as lucky to have someone so patient, as well, and in time, understanding of your caution in making such a major purchase. I also don’t think I said anything derogatory about her, or meant to. I said she’s lucky. That’s a good thing 🙂

I’m sure all your searches will be worth it and in time the just right dream home will come along at the price that makes sense and is worth it. Then you can look back and laugh at all this. Hopefully some laughing now along the way.

[jpinpb]

I’m sure as lucky as she is to have you, you are just as lucky to have someone so patient, as well, and in time, understanding of your caution in making such a major purchase. I also don’t think I said anything derogatory about her, or meant to. I said she’s lucky. That’s a good thing 🙂

I’m sure all your searches will be worth it and in time the just right dream home will come along at the price that makes sense and is worth it. Then you can look back and laugh at all this. Hopefully some laughing now along the way.

[jpinpb]

I’m sure as lucky as she is to have you, you are just as lucky to have someone so patient, as well, and in time, understanding of your caution in making such a major purchase. I also don’t think I said anything derogatory about her, or meant to. I said she’s lucky. That’s a good thing 🙂

I’m sure all your searches will be worth it and in time the just right dream home will come along at the price that makes sense and is worth it. Then you can look back and laugh at all this. Hopefully some laughing now along the way.

[Author]

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