OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[scaredyclassic]

Being trim and slightly muscled at 50 is different points wise than at 20.

Complex.

Glad I’m not trying to acquire a house or a woman.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]Fair is fair.

Perhaps I can set up a human appraisal business to help spouses see their true number to resolve these matters.[/quote]

That’s a good idea…they need the help, some people are stubborn and can’t figure it out, the divorce rate would go down.[/quote]

I’d have 100 viewers evaluate your nude photos to get a cross section opinion on your hotness.

[NotCranky]

[quote=FlyerInHi]That’s kind of what I mentioned however you want to define “lowbrow” vs. “highbrow”. It’s often a matter of social economics, but not always.

Kev seems like an up-and-coming professional. He doesn’t need to get dragged down by an emotional ball, from a bad family, who doesn’t have any concept of what is appropriate. He should not even consider engaging in her emotional games.

If you’re an 8, you don’t want to marry a 4. But if you did, the whole becomes a 6. The 4 improved 50% whereas the 8 was dragged down 25%. The relationship clearly was a better return on investment for the 4.

Maybe people should only marry within 1 point.[/quote]

You don’t get it, Brian. I knew you wouldn’t. NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.

Lets say a good looking professional guy marries a much better looking but poor Russian girl. He did that so he would have the power…that lowers him 4 points for being a schmuck and the woman is down there for dumping all the sincere poor guys who wanted her back in her country. 4=4

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]Being trim and slightly muscled at 50 is different points wise than at 20.

Complex.

Glad I’m not trying to acquire a house or a woman.[/quote]

Extremely complex. I have a scar in my 6 pack from being stabbed. I should get sympathy points for having been stabbed, but it does lessen the 6 pack value.

[kev374]

[quote=Blogstar] NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
[/quote]

Are you really sure about that? I know a guy who is literally obese and not good looking at all by any stretch of the imagination. He was a Software Engineer making I would guess at least $150k/yr. He was however he married a smoking hot Asian girl but she makes good money herself – possibly around $80-90k/yr. Yes, it’s true that he wined and dined her to the extreme and he is a BIG spender in that regard.

But how is this even an equal match? He is probably a 2 looks wise, she is probably an 8. And her explanation was that she married him because he was a nice guy and treats her right. So, are you sure that these superficial characteristics like looks and money are what people use to find each other or is there something more deep that connects us together?

[zk]

[quote=CA renter]
Svelte, you’re a lucky man. I think there are a few of us lucky couples here (including UCGal, Rustico, scaredy, flyer, etc.). We’re maybe not singing our spouse’s praises here, but we’re not the ones complaining, either…at least not seriously. [/quote]

My wife caught me saying great things about her and about our marriage a few times. She is vastly smarter than me socially, and I encourage her to occasionally nudge me in the right direction. She gently informed me that very rarely do people want to hear how great your wife or your marriage are. Particularly if theirs isn’t great. And, since it’s really hard to tell whose marriage is great, whose isn’t, who’s faking it, etc., it’s better just to keep it to yourself.

Also, I totally concur with scaredy’s rowboat metaphor.

“Marriage is a rowboat. Do not marry someone who does not have an oar in the water and who can pull hard.” – scaredycat

[zk]

[quote=kev374][quote=Blogstar] NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
[/quote]

Are you really sure about that? I know a guy who is literally obese and not good looking at all by any stretch of the imagination. He was a Software Engineer making I would guess at least $150k/yr. He was however he married a smoking hot Asian girl but she makes good money herself – possibly around $80-90k/yr. Yes, it’s true that he wined and dined her to the extreme and he is a BIG spender in that regard.

But how is this even an equal match? He is probably a 2 looks wise, she is probably an 8. And her explanation was that she married him because he was a nice guy and treats her right. So, are you sure that these superficial characteristics like looks and money are what people use to find each other or is there something more deep that connects us together?[/quote]

I think Russ’s point system takes into account “nice guy” and “treats her right.” He might be a 2 looks-wise, but he sounds like a somewhat higher number than that, in totality. And maybe she’s got other issues. Maybe they’re both 6s. Or 7s. Or 9s. Or 4s.

I have these friends (a couple). He’s a 3 looks-wise. She’s a 9. He’s an unbelievable guy. Super energetic, extremely giving, incredibly nice, makes a boatload of money. She’s ok, but a bit shallow. She doesn’t deserve him, even though she’s the 9 and he’s the 3. Happens all the time.

[kev374]

I earn close to $130k/yr and also have a liquid net worth in the six figures but the women I have dated have always been those that not only don’t have 2 nickels to rub together and very low to low income ($35k-50k/yr) and average looking, those were the only women I connected with for whatever reason but I did not mind there was a huge disconnect in socio-economic status, as long as they treated me well I was OK with it, maybe I am naive I don’t know…

But in this particular case with my ex, not only did she earn half my income, had no significant money in the bank, had $30,000 of car loans, student loans etc. making her net worth NEGATIVE $20k or so – it was a bit uncomfortable to me as I usually stay away from people whose net worth is in the negative if they are in their 30s. Well, I liked her enough that I thought that if I want to be with her I just have to be ready to absorb the $30k in liabilities from her side.

But that wasn’t enough for her, she still wanted her $25k fairy tale wedding, at least a $5k ring (to her I was getting off cheap as her friends had received $15k rings), wanted to honeymoon in the Maldives etc. etc. I was disturbed by this as these expectations from someone who does not have any money in the bank is just too much!

Now, in addition to the above she is being sued for fraud and could possibly have an additional $70-100k of liability added.

And she wonders why I bailed on her. Do you see how absolutely irrational this woman is? LOL!

[zk]

[quote=kev374]
And she wonders why I bailed on her. Do you see how absolutely irrational this woman is? LOL![/quote]

Are you asking us, Kev? Or are you asking yourself? Because you’ve pretty much gotten our answer.

I could easily be wrong, but I wonder if your lack of connection with women on your on part of the socioeconomic ladder has anything to do with a basic insecurity on your part. Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve a woman who’s more reliable and more financially secure than the ones you’ve been dating. Like I said, I could be wrong. Something to consider.

[NotCranky]

[quote=kev374][quote=Blogstar] NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
[/quote]

Are you really sure about that? I know a guy who is literally obese and not good looking at all by any stretch of the imagination. He was a Software Engineer making I would guess at least $150k/yr. He was however he married a smoking hot Asian girl but she makes good money herself – possibly around $80-90k/yr. Yes, it’s true that he wined and dined her to the extreme and he is a BIG spender in that regard.

But how is this even an equal match? He is probably a 2 looks wise, she is probably an 8. And her explanation was that she married him because he was a nice guy and treats her right. So, are you sure that these superficial characteristics like looks and money are what people use to find each other or is there something more deep that connects us together?[/quote]
The sum total doesn’t have to do with looks, I am poking fun at that. So , yes there often is something, or some things more deep, LOL . Maybe the woman is almost as impossible behind closed doors as chubby hubby is kind. Maybe it takes an extremely kind and patient person to deal with her. It could be anything …positives or negatives, innocent and sinister, …they balanced out.

[scaredyclassic]

By definition every house sells for its market value.

And all pairings are roughly matched.

The marketplace at work

[FlyerInHi]

[quote=Blogstar] NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
[/quote]

So you’re saying that the invisible hand works. The numbers equalize themselves before marriage and there’s a meeting of the minds. Essentially, people get what they deserve, at least in the beginning.

Now to the divorce rate. Maybe the ratings diverge after marriage and water doesn’t seek a placid level.

And to scaredyclassic’s business idea. It’s valid only if an 8 would marry a 4, but don’t know their ratings at the time marriage. He can profit by helping people find their intrinsic worth before marriage, thereby avoiding the cost of divorce. Win-win for scaredy and his customers.

But if customers engage his services after marriage, then the divorce rate could increase — potentially more equal rated couples divorce, and or more divergent rated couple stay married. The latter is much less likely, I think.

[NotCranky]

I don’t know, there is a lot of dark humor in here. Scaredy’s business would be for fine tuning …he is not a miracle worker or a plastic surgeon. I doubt people diverge on score that much, but can still diverge on compatibility if they stupidly want to belittle each other for the rest of their lives I think they are a low number. Really though 4+4 marriages might be harder than 8+8.. I am not sure about this part. Remember to think about the people holistically, the entire person not just money and looks. A good looking person with lots of money can be a 2 or a 3 and that is hard for a lot of people to understand.

[scaredyclassic]

Actually I’m seriously thinking about opening a donut shop.

[FlyerInHi]

Sure I understand that it’s not all looks and money. Each person is free to define his own parameters.

But if the basic premise is that people deserve each other, then I’m a loss to explain the divorce rate.

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