ot. empty nest

[scaredyclassic]

shoot man. dropped no. 2 off at college. only one left. really really sad as this one was my bud. but hes kinda done with us, at least for now. so so so sad.

its like a bad cliche. listening to grayeful dead on the way back, think I ng, where does the time go

[flyer]

We’ve been through it with 3, and it’s never easy, but try to be happy that they want to spread their wings. You’re in the transition period right now, but that will pass.

Over time, as they graduate, and find their paths in life, you’ll find that you are still very much a part of their lives–at least that’s the way it’s been for us.

As my daughter said to me when she graduated from Harvard Med–“If it wasn’t for you and Mom, I’d never be where I am today.” The guys have gone through a few more phases than our daughter did to get to their destinations, but they’ve each landed where they want to be.

In some ways our relationship with our kids has changed–but in a good way–as they have grown into adults, and we’re all still very close, even though they are far more independent than they’ve ever been. I’m sure you’ll find that will be the case with your kids.

Here’s an article you might like:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-teenage-mind/201308/letting-go-college-kids

[CA renter]

For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about you and your kids lately. When your first son went off to college, your sadness was palpable, and when you said that he didn’t really visit much, it was pretty depressing. 🙁

Maybe it’s because we are also getting to the point where we have to start dealing with our eldest preparing for college. We still have a few years, but she’ll be getting her driver’s license this next year, and one can’t help but wonder where the time goes.

I know this sounds bad, but I long for the days when families would often stay together in multi-generational households. Having your kids leave is like ripping out a piece of your heart.

Now, this most recent post of yours has made me even sadder. I still think at least one of your kids should stay home and go to college locally. Where is the middle one going to school? Have you suggested this to them (I think you did with your eldest)?

[flyer]

From our experience, I can tell you that the joy of seeing your kids flourish in their lives and chosen professions will eventually outweigh the trauma of letting them go.

As I mentioned before, we’re all still very close, and they would not have been happy with their lives if we tried to hang on too tightly, so you will see light at the end of the tunnel.

[CA renter]

Thank you for your thoughts and insights, flyer. You are right about our needing to set them free, but it’s so difficult, as you well know.

I think that sending your kids out into the world is also another way to mark time and our own mortality. As long as they’re with us, we can still feel young-ish. When they leave, images of growing old and infirm start creeping in. It’s a major landmark on this very short timeline we call life.

[flyer]

That’s very true, CAr. Just trying to give those of you who are just starting this journey a little hope that all is not lost, and that, in some ways, the best may be yet to come for both you and your kids.

[FlyerInHi]

Did anyone notice that young people don’t like to talk on the phone. You have to text first before calling. It’s considered rude to telephone unannounced.
And even with texting, they don’t respond when things are taken for granted and go without saying.

[CA renter]

Thank you, flyer. 🙂

[svelte]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Did anyone notice that young people don’t like to talk on the phone. You have to text first before calling. It’s considered rude to telephone unannounced.
And even with texting, they don’t respond when things are taken for granted and go without saying.[/quote]

Not true with my kids (20 somethings). They call spur of the moment and I call them the same way.

[afx114]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Did anyone notice that young people don’t like to talk on the phone. You have to text first before calling. It’s considered rude to telephone unannounced.
And even with texting, they don’t respond when things are taken for granted and go without saying.[/quote]

Phone calls are selfish and rude.

They’re like, “TALKING TO ME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE CURRENTLY DOING! STOP WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE DOING AND TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW! WAAAAH WAAAHHH BLAH BLAH BLAH”

[scaredyclassic]

i think my kid almost considers unannounced texting intrusive, esp. if text contains more than 30 characters

[Author]

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