OT – commands prepended with “please”

[CA renter]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

Agreed. Sometimes, commands are necessary, even if we don’t like them, and saying “please” means that the person making the request/command is trying to be as polite as possible.

Of course, one of the first things that came to my mind when reading your post was how I speak to my kids. There is no way I would say, “would you please consider cleaning your room today?” Perhaps that makes me a bad parent, but I would say, “please clean your room,” and wouldn’t think twice about it.

If I’m at a friend’s house helping to prepare dinner and my friend were to say, “please hand me that pan,” I wouldn’t think it was rude at all, quite the contrary, as she might have said, “give me that pan,” which would have been rude (unless we’re very comfortable and just need to keep things short due to time constraints, etc.).

Like Russ said, though, if the thing being requested is something that only benefits the requestor, it would be best if he/she said, “Would you mind doing XXX, please?” That would be better. 🙂

[CA renter]

[quote=flu][quote=walterwhite]clearly, “please go fuck yourself” is not polite.[/quote]

what about, “please, can I fxxx you?”[/quote]

Direct, to the point, and quite polite! 😉

[CA renter]

[quote=flu][quote=walterwhite]clearly, “please go fuck yourself” is not polite.[/quote]

what about, “please, can I fxxx you?”[/quote]

Direct, to the point, and quite polite! 😉

[CA renter]

[quote=flu][quote=walterwhite]clearly, “please go fuck yourself” is not polite.[/quote]

what about, “please, can I fxxx you?”[/quote]

Direct, to the point, and quite polite! 😉

[CA renter]

[quote=flu][quote=walterwhite]clearly, “please go fuck yourself” is not polite.[/quote]

what about, “please, can I fxxx you?”[/quote]

Direct, to the point, and quite polite! 😉

[CA renter]

[quote=flu][quote=walterwhite]clearly, “please go fuck yourself” is not polite.[/quote]

what about, “please, can I fxxx you?”[/quote]

Direct, to the point, and quite polite! 😉

[Rich Toscano]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.

So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:

“Please sign this form and return it to me.”

…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”

I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.

Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.

[Rich Toscano]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.

So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:

“Please sign this form and return it to me.”

…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”

I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.

Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.

[Rich Toscano]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.

So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:

“Please sign this form and return it to me.”

…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”

I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.

Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.

[Rich Toscano]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.

So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:

“Please sign this form and return it to me.”

…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”

I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.

Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.

[Rich Toscano]

[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]

OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.

So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:

“Please sign this form and return it to me.”

…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”

I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.

Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.

[scaredyclassic]

heres the proper response…

http://store.theonion.com/product/with-all-due-respect,331/

[scaredyclassic]

heres the proper response…

http://store.theonion.com/product/with-all-due-respect,331/

[scaredyclassic]

heres the proper response…

http://store.theonion.com/product/with-all-due-respect,331/

[scaredyclassic]

heres the proper response…

http://store.theonion.com/product/with-all-due-respect,331/

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