irrational fear?; spouse wants house…

[CBad]

I think that life’s major decisions in a marriage require unanimous approval. So you don’t buy an enormous asset, or have children, or move, etc. unless everyone agrees. There is no more compelling argument than that.

[XBoxBoy]

Dear Scaredycat’s wife,

I hope my story will help you understand. My wife and I have been on the sidelines renting too. At first it was very tough, as my wife, like you, desperately wanted a house. But the housing market was peaking and I wouldn’t agree to buying anything.

Now, looking back, both my wife and I are glad that we didn’t buy. If we had bought when we first started looking we would have paid way more than the house would be worth today. In real terms this means we would have lost a good bit of money. As a bonus, I can tell you that in the last year we’ve been able to significantly up the quality of houses that we are looking at, because prices have come down, but our budget has not.

But to me the more important question is what would have buying a house at the peak done to our marriage? While everyone says that money is not important, love is what matters, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that money can be a huge source of stress in a marriage. While I try my best to be fair, and not hold grudges, or be angry, I’m sure if we had lost a ton of money over the last year due to my wife’s insistence that we buy, that would have put a good bit of friction in our marriage. And then, to boot, my wife would have felt that anything I said about it was an I told you so.

Instead, as my wife hears of coworkers going into foreclosure, friends struggling with mortgages they can’t pay, and their marriages turning rocky, she realizes that the fear of not buying a house was not well founded.

Likewise, I suggest that you shouldn’t fear that your husband will never agree to buy a house, but instead focus on the fear that forcing a bad decision could impact your marriage in many negative ways.

As it is now, my wife and I are closer than ever, happily pursuing the interests in our life, saving our money, and renting as we watch things from the sidelines. Would we love to stop renting and buy? Of course! But worse would be to jump into something that would turn out poorly. That’s the fear that should be keeping you awake at night.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

Dear Scaredycat’s wife,

I hope my story will help you understand. My wife and I have been on the sidelines renting too. At first it was very tough, as my wife, like you, desperately wanted a house. But the housing market was peaking and I wouldn’t agree to buying anything.

Now, looking back, both my wife and I are glad that we didn’t buy. If we had bought when we first started looking we would have paid way more than the house would be worth today. In real terms this means we would have lost a good bit of money. As a bonus, I can tell you that in the last year we’ve been able to significantly up the quality of houses that we are looking at, because prices have come down, but our budget has not.

But to me the more important question is what would have buying a house at the peak done to our marriage? While everyone says that money is not important, love is what matters, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that money can be a huge source of stress in a marriage. While I try my best to be fair, and not hold grudges, or be angry, I’m sure if we had lost a ton of money over the last year due to my wife’s insistence that we buy, that would have put a good bit of friction in our marriage. And then, to boot, my wife would have felt that anything I said about it was an I told you so.

Instead, as my wife hears of coworkers going into foreclosure, friends struggling with mortgages they can’t pay, and their marriages turning rocky, she realizes that the fear of not buying a house was not well founded.

Likewise, I suggest that you shouldn’t fear that your husband will never agree to buy a house, but instead focus on the fear that forcing a bad decision could impact your marriage in many negative ways.

As it is now, my wife and I are closer than ever, happily pursuing the interests in our life, saving our money, and renting as we watch things from the sidelines. Would we love to stop renting and buy? Of course! But worse would be to jump into something that would turn out poorly. That’s the fear that should be keeping you awake at night.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

Dear Scaredycat’s wife,

I hope my story will help you understand. My wife and I have been on the sidelines renting too. At first it was very tough, as my wife, like you, desperately wanted a house. But the housing market was peaking and I wouldn’t agree to buying anything.

Now, looking back, both my wife and I are glad that we didn’t buy. If we had bought when we first started looking we would have paid way more than the house would be worth today. In real terms this means we would have lost a good bit of money. As a bonus, I can tell you that in the last year we’ve been able to significantly up the quality of houses that we are looking at, because prices have come down, but our budget has not.

But to me the more important question is what would have buying a house at the peak done to our marriage? While everyone says that money is not important, love is what matters, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that money can be a huge source of stress in a marriage. While I try my best to be fair, and not hold grudges, or be angry, I’m sure if we had lost a ton of money over the last year due to my wife’s insistence that we buy, that would have put a good bit of friction in our marriage. And then, to boot, my wife would have felt that anything I said about it was an I told you so.

Instead, as my wife hears of coworkers going into foreclosure, friends struggling with mortgages they can’t pay, and their marriages turning rocky, she realizes that the fear of not buying a house was not well founded.

Likewise, I suggest that you shouldn’t fear that your husband will never agree to buy a house, but instead focus on the fear that forcing a bad decision could impact your marriage in many negative ways.

As it is now, my wife and I are closer than ever, happily pursuing the interests in our life, saving our money, and renting as we watch things from the sidelines. Would we love to stop renting and buy? Of course! But worse would be to jump into something that would turn out poorly. That’s the fear that should be keeping you awake at night.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

Dear Scaredycat’s wife,

I hope my story will help you understand. My wife and I have been on the sidelines renting too. At first it was very tough, as my wife, like you, desperately wanted a house. But the housing market was peaking and I wouldn’t agree to buying anything.

Now, looking back, both my wife and I are glad that we didn’t buy. If we had bought when we first started looking we would have paid way more than the house would be worth today. In real terms this means we would have lost a good bit of money. As a bonus, I can tell you that in the last year we’ve been able to significantly up the quality of houses that we are looking at, because prices have come down, but our budget has not.

But to me the more important question is what would have buying a house at the peak done to our marriage? While everyone says that money is not important, love is what matters, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that money can be a huge source of stress in a marriage. While I try my best to be fair, and not hold grudges, or be angry, I’m sure if we had lost a ton of money over the last year due to my wife’s insistence that we buy, that would have put a good bit of friction in our marriage. And then, to boot, my wife would have felt that anything I said about it was an I told you so.

Instead, as my wife hears of coworkers going into foreclosure, friends struggling with mortgages they can’t pay, and their marriages turning rocky, she realizes that the fear of not buying a house was not well founded.

Likewise, I suggest that you shouldn’t fear that your husband will never agree to buy a house, but instead focus on the fear that forcing a bad decision could impact your marriage in many negative ways.

As it is now, my wife and I are closer than ever, happily pursuing the interests in our life, saving our money, and renting as we watch things from the sidelines. Would we love to stop renting and buy? Of course! But worse would be to jump into something that would turn out poorly. That’s the fear that should be keeping you awake at night.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

Dear Scaredycat’s wife,

I hope my story will help you understand. My wife and I have been on the sidelines renting too. At first it was very tough, as my wife, like you, desperately wanted a house. But the housing market was peaking and I wouldn’t agree to buying anything.

Now, looking back, both my wife and I are glad that we didn’t buy. If we had bought when we first started looking we would have paid way more than the house would be worth today. In real terms this means we would have lost a good bit of money. As a bonus, I can tell you that in the last year we’ve been able to significantly up the quality of houses that we are looking at, because prices have come down, but our budget has not.

But to me the more important question is what would have buying a house at the peak done to our marriage? While everyone says that money is not important, love is what matters, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that money can be a huge source of stress in a marriage. While I try my best to be fair, and not hold grudges, or be angry, I’m sure if we had lost a ton of money over the last year due to my wife’s insistence that we buy, that would have put a good bit of friction in our marriage. And then, to boot, my wife would have felt that anything I said about it was an I told you so.

Instead, as my wife hears of coworkers going into foreclosure, friends struggling with mortgages they can’t pay, and their marriages turning rocky, she realizes that the fear of not buying a house was not well founded.

Likewise, I suggest that you shouldn’t fear that your husband will never agree to buy a house, but instead focus on the fear that forcing a bad decision could impact your marriage in many negative ways.

As it is now, my wife and I are closer than ever, happily pursuing the interests in our life, saving our money, and renting as we watch things from the sidelines. Would we love to stop renting and buy? Of course! But worse would be to jump into something that would turn out poorly. That’s the fear that should be keeping you awake at night.

XBoxBoy

[jetonejet]

My wife and I bought in 2003 and sold our house in 2006. We too have been waiting for the market to come down and yes, its sucks renting. But tell your wife this…

1) EVERY housing downturn in US history has been an L shaped type crash, meaning prices do not just shoot back up. Prices will fall and stay low for a while

2) You said you dont care about timeing the bottom, but you and your wife must agree that its smarter to catch prices going back up than it is to catch them still falling.

3) Find other thing to focus on, like take a vacation or buy some furniture for your rental. If you dwell on when to buy, youll go probably end up buying.

4) more info
http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html

hope this helps.

[jetonejet]

My wife and I bought in 2003 and sold our house in 2006. We too have been waiting for the market to come down and yes, its sucks renting. But tell your wife this…

1) EVERY housing downturn in US history has been an L shaped type crash, meaning prices do not just shoot back up. Prices will fall and stay low for a while

2) You said you dont care about timeing the bottom, but you and your wife must agree that its smarter to catch prices going back up than it is to catch them still falling.

3) Find other thing to focus on, like take a vacation or buy some furniture for your rental. If you dwell on when to buy, youll go probably end up buying.

4) more info
http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html

hope this helps.

[jetonejet]

My wife and I bought in 2003 and sold our house in 2006. We too have been waiting for the market to come down and yes, its sucks renting. But tell your wife this…

1) EVERY housing downturn in US history has been an L shaped type crash, meaning prices do not just shoot back up. Prices will fall and stay low for a while

2) You said you dont care about timeing the bottom, but you and your wife must agree that its smarter to catch prices going back up than it is to catch them still falling.

3) Find other thing to focus on, like take a vacation or buy some furniture for your rental. If you dwell on when to buy, youll go probably end up buying.

4) more info
http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html

hope this helps.

[jetonejet]

My wife and I bought in 2003 and sold our house in 2006. We too have been waiting for the market to come down and yes, its sucks renting. But tell your wife this…

1) EVERY housing downturn in US history has been an L shaped type crash, meaning prices do not just shoot back up. Prices will fall and stay low for a while

2) You said you dont care about timeing the bottom, but you and your wife must agree that its smarter to catch prices going back up than it is to catch them still falling.

3) Find other thing to focus on, like take a vacation or buy some furniture for your rental. If you dwell on when to buy, youll go probably end up buying.

4) more info
http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html

hope this helps.

[jetonejet]

My wife and I bought in 2003 and sold our house in 2006. We too have been waiting for the market to come down and yes, its sucks renting. But tell your wife this…

1) EVERY housing downturn in US history has been an L shaped type crash, meaning prices do not just shoot back up. Prices will fall and stay low for a while

2) You said you dont care about timeing the bottom, but you and your wife must agree that its smarter to catch prices going back up than it is to catch them still falling.

3) Find other thing to focus on, like take a vacation or buy some furniture for your rental. If you dwell on when to buy, youll go probably end up buying.

4) more info
http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html

hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

You should probably pay “temeculaguy” a fee to meet with you and review the housing market in your area – where it was 18/12/6 months ago and where it is headed in the next 6/12 months. He’d be able to give you two excellent insight on the market in your area. Depending on your situation and the development that you’re looking at, it might not be a horrible mistake to buy. Temecula is so far ahead of San Diego on the depreciation curve.

[Anonymous]

You should probably pay “temeculaguy” a fee to meet with you and review the housing market in your area – where it was 18/12/6 months ago and where it is headed in the next 6/12 months. He’d be able to give you two excellent insight on the market in your area. Depending on your situation and the development that you’re looking at, it might not be a horrible mistake to buy. Temecula is so far ahead of San Diego on the depreciation curve.

[Anonymous]

You should probably pay “temeculaguy” a fee to meet with you and review the housing market in your area – where it was 18/12/6 months ago and where it is headed in the next 6/12 months. He’d be able to give you two excellent insight on the market in your area. Depending on your situation and the development that you’re looking at, it might not be a horrible mistake to buy. Temecula is so far ahead of San Diego on the depreciation curve.

[Anonymous]

You should probably pay “temeculaguy” a fee to meet with you and review the housing market in your area – where it was 18/12/6 months ago and where it is headed in the next 6/12 months. He’d be able to give you two excellent insight on the market in your area. Depending on your situation and the development that you’re looking at, it might not be a horrible mistake to buy. Temecula is so far ahead of San Diego on the depreciation curve.

[Author]

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