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August 27, 2009 at 9:16 AM #450271August 27, 2009 at 12:07 PM #449587RicechexParticipant
This discussion seems to be addressing people of a certain socio-economic status. Perhaps my view is biased because I have spent most of my career working with couples in conflict and domestic violence. The age ranges from early 20’s-mid 30’s, lower socio-economic status. Cheating is the most pervasive problem I have seen hands down. Both genders do it. Phones and text messaging are a particular source of conflict. These couples have loose boundaries, lack of communication skills, and are generally chaotic.
My guess is that the demographics being addressed here (white, middle/upper class, mid 30’s and up) have better communication skills, more appropriate boundaries, and in general, live their lives with less chaos and drama. That said, they are probably more sophisticated about hiding the infidelity (Desperate Housewives comes to mind). Thus, it goes unreported in social circles. I would hypothesize that the lady in this article is divorced because her husband was in fact, cheating.
August 27, 2009 at 12:07 PM #449779RicechexParticipantThis discussion seems to be addressing people of a certain socio-economic status. Perhaps my view is biased because I have spent most of my career working with couples in conflict and domestic violence. The age ranges from early 20’s-mid 30’s, lower socio-economic status. Cheating is the most pervasive problem I have seen hands down. Both genders do it. Phones and text messaging are a particular source of conflict. These couples have loose boundaries, lack of communication skills, and are generally chaotic.
My guess is that the demographics being addressed here (white, middle/upper class, mid 30’s and up) have better communication skills, more appropriate boundaries, and in general, live their lives with less chaos and drama. That said, they are probably more sophisticated about hiding the infidelity (Desperate Housewives comes to mind). Thus, it goes unreported in social circles. I would hypothesize that the lady in this article is divorced because her husband was in fact, cheating.
August 27, 2009 at 12:07 PM #450117RicechexParticipantThis discussion seems to be addressing people of a certain socio-economic status. Perhaps my view is biased because I have spent most of my career working with couples in conflict and domestic violence. The age ranges from early 20’s-mid 30’s, lower socio-economic status. Cheating is the most pervasive problem I have seen hands down. Both genders do it. Phones and text messaging are a particular source of conflict. These couples have loose boundaries, lack of communication skills, and are generally chaotic.
My guess is that the demographics being addressed here (white, middle/upper class, mid 30’s and up) have better communication skills, more appropriate boundaries, and in general, live their lives with less chaos and drama. That said, they are probably more sophisticated about hiding the infidelity (Desperate Housewives comes to mind). Thus, it goes unreported in social circles. I would hypothesize that the lady in this article is divorced because her husband was in fact, cheating.
August 27, 2009 at 12:07 PM #450188RicechexParticipantThis discussion seems to be addressing people of a certain socio-economic status. Perhaps my view is biased because I have spent most of my career working with couples in conflict and domestic violence. The age ranges from early 20’s-mid 30’s, lower socio-economic status. Cheating is the most pervasive problem I have seen hands down. Both genders do it. Phones and text messaging are a particular source of conflict. These couples have loose boundaries, lack of communication skills, and are generally chaotic.
My guess is that the demographics being addressed here (white, middle/upper class, mid 30’s and up) have better communication skills, more appropriate boundaries, and in general, live their lives with less chaos and drama. That said, they are probably more sophisticated about hiding the infidelity (Desperate Housewives comes to mind). Thus, it goes unreported in social circles. I would hypothesize that the lady in this article is divorced because her husband was in fact, cheating.
August 27, 2009 at 12:07 PM #450374RicechexParticipantThis discussion seems to be addressing people of a certain socio-economic status. Perhaps my view is biased because I have spent most of my career working with couples in conflict and domestic violence. The age ranges from early 20’s-mid 30’s, lower socio-economic status. Cheating is the most pervasive problem I have seen hands down. Both genders do it. Phones and text messaging are a particular source of conflict. These couples have loose boundaries, lack of communication skills, and are generally chaotic.
My guess is that the demographics being addressed here (white, middle/upper class, mid 30’s and up) have better communication skills, more appropriate boundaries, and in general, live their lives with less chaos and drama. That said, they are probably more sophisticated about hiding the infidelity (Desperate Housewives comes to mind). Thus, it goes unreported in social circles. I would hypothesize that the lady in this article is divorced because her husband was in fact, cheating.
August 27, 2009 at 1:04 PM #449622justmeParticipantIt was illuminating to see some of the responses to my comment.
My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
Some people decided their best response was to pick on what was only intended as a humorous, albeit pointed, analogy.
Let me put is this way: If a man uses the same, or an equally lame excuse, bullshit would be called instantly.
Let’s give it a try:
Man: I have a very strong instinct to protect and provide, and when I saw how vulnerable and innocent that woman was, it was what drove me to the act of infidelity.
How far do you think that rationalization would fly?
August 27, 2009 at 1:04 PM #449814justmeParticipantIt was illuminating to see some of the responses to my comment.
My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
Some people decided their best response was to pick on what was only intended as a humorous, albeit pointed, analogy.
Let me put is this way: If a man uses the same, or an equally lame excuse, bullshit would be called instantly.
Let’s give it a try:
Man: I have a very strong instinct to protect and provide, and when I saw how vulnerable and innocent that woman was, it was what drove me to the act of infidelity.
How far do you think that rationalization would fly?
August 27, 2009 at 1:04 PM #450152justmeParticipantIt was illuminating to see some of the responses to my comment.
My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
Some people decided their best response was to pick on what was only intended as a humorous, albeit pointed, analogy.
Let me put is this way: If a man uses the same, or an equally lame excuse, bullshit would be called instantly.
Let’s give it a try:
Man: I have a very strong instinct to protect and provide, and when I saw how vulnerable and innocent that woman was, it was what drove me to the act of infidelity.
How far do you think that rationalization would fly?
August 27, 2009 at 1:04 PM #450223justmeParticipantIt was illuminating to see some of the responses to my comment.
My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
Some people decided their best response was to pick on what was only intended as a humorous, albeit pointed, analogy.
Let me put is this way: If a man uses the same, or an equally lame excuse, bullshit would be called instantly.
Let’s give it a try:
Man: I have a very strong instinct to protect and provide, and when I saw how vulnerable and innocent that woman was, it was what drove me to the act of infidelity.
How far do you think that rationalization would fly?
August 27, 2009 at 1:04 PM #450409justmeParticipantIt was illuminating to see some of the responses to my comment.
My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
Some people decided their best response was to pick on what was only intended as a humorous, albeit pointed, analogy.
Let me put is this way: If a man uses the same, or an equally lame excuse, bullshit would be called instantly.
Let’s give it a try:
Man: I have a very strong instinct to protect and provide, and when I saw how vulnerable and innocent that woman was, it was what drove me to the act of infidelity.
How far do you think that rationalization would fly?
August 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM #449647zzzParticipant[quote=justme]My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
[/quote]I certainly am not validating or excusing insecurity as a basis for cheating and I NEVER said its only allowed for woman, nor am I saying its the reason why cheating occurs. Simply that I see a correlation. Umm, I think you are mad libbing here because those things were never stated.
You and I might as well be on different planets because your analogy makes no sense.
August 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM #449839zzzParticipant[quote=justme]My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
[/quote]I certainly am not validating or excusing insecurity as a basis for cheating and I NEVER said its only allowed for woman, nor am I saying its the reason why cheating occurs. Simply that I see a correlation. Umm, I think you are mad libbing here because those things were never stated.
You and I might as well be on different planets because your analogy makes no sense.
August 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM #450177zzzParticipant[quote=justme]My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
[/quote]I certainly am not validating or excusing insecurity as a basis for cheating and I NEVER said its only allowed for woman, nor am I saying its the reason why cheating occurs. Simply that I see a correlation. Umm, I think you are mad libbing here because those things were never stated.
You and I might as well be on different planets because your analogy makes no sense.
August 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM #450248zzzParticipant[quote=justme]My comment essentially said “insecurity as a validation or excuse for bad behavior is allowed only for women”, and pointing out the inequity of the situation.
[/quote]I certainly am not validating or excusing insecurity as a basis for cheating and I NEVER said its only allowed for woman, nor am I saying its the reason why cheating occurs. Simply that I see a correlation. Umm, I think you are mad libbing here because those things were never stated.
You and I might as well be on different planets because your analogy makes no sense.
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