going broke on 300K/year

[CBad]

Nope. That might be your take but it’s not mine.

[davelj]

[quote=scaredycat]sounds like the ultimate goal is to repress your way to happiness….[/quote]

As much as I’d like to agree with you here – and I love the catchiness of “repress your way to happiness” (that’s very good) – I think it’s more of a trade-off issue, as opposed to a repression issue. (Although one could also argue that’s a distinction without much of a difference. But I digress.)

For example, most married men are probably happy in their marriages the majority of the time. Most also want to get some strange occasionally. But for many in this group, the repercussions of getting caught would be too damaging. So, the trade-off is: I will not cheat and risk getting caught – thus making me miserable occasionally – in exchange for keeping my marriage in tact, in which I’m happy the majority of the time.

Trading occasional misery for a state of frequent contentment is perfectly logical. Which is one more reason – aside from financial and other reasons – that some men stay married.

And, obviously, the spectrum of time spent in misery vs. contentment is going to vary from person to person.

[davelj]

[quote=scaredycat]sounds like the ultimate goal is to repress your way to happiness….[/quote]

As much as I’d like to agree with you here – and I love the catchiness of “repress your way to happiness” (that’s very good) – I think it’s more of a trade-off issue, as opposed to a repression issue. (Although one could also argue that’s a distinction without much of a difference. But I digress.)

For example, most married men are probably happy in their marriages the majority of the time. Most also want to get some strange occasionally. But for many in this group, the repercussions of getting caught would be too damaging. So, the trade-off is: I will not cheat and risk getting caught – thus making me miserable occasionally – in exchange for keeping my marriage in tact, in which I’m happy the majority of the time.

Trading occasional misery for a state of frequent contentment is perfectly logical. Which is one more reason – aside from financial and other reasons – that some men stay married.

And, obviously, the spectrum of time spent in misery vs. contentment is going to vary from person to person.

[davelj]

[quote=scaredycat]sounds like the ultimate goal is to repress your way to happiness….[/quote]

As much as I’d like to agree with you here – and I love the catchiness of “repress your way to happiness” (that’s very good) – I think it’s more of a trade-off issue, as opposed to a repression issue. (Although one could also argue that’s a distinction without much of a difference. But I digress.)

For example, most married men are probably happy in their marriages the majority of the time. Most also want to get some strange occasionally. But for many in this group, the repercussions of getting caught would be too damaging. So, the trade-off is: I will not cheat and risk getting caught – thus making me miserable occasionally – in exchange for keeping my marriage in tact, in which I’m happy the majority of the time.

Trading occasional misery for a state of frequent contentment is perfectly logical. Which is one more reason – aside from financial and other reasons – that some men stay married.

And, obviously, the spectrum of time spent in misery vs. contentment is going to vary from person to person.

[davelj]

[quote=scaredycat]sounds like the ultimate goal is to repress your way to happiness….[/quote]

As much as I’d like to agree with you here – and I love the catchiness of “repress your way to happiness” (that’s very good) – I think it’s more of a trade-off issue, as opposed to a repression issue. (Although one could also argue that’s a distinction without much of a difference. But I digress.)

For example, most married men are probably happy in their marriages the majority of the time. Most also want to get some strange occasionally. But for many in this group, the repercussions of getting caught would be too damaging. So, the trade-off is: I will not cheat and risk getting caught – thus making me miserable occasionally – in exchange for keeping my marriage in tact, in which I’m happy the majority of the time.

Trading occasional misery for a state of frequent contentment is perfectly logical. Which is one more reason – aside from financial and other reasons – that some men stay married.

And, obviously, the spectrum of time spent in misery vs. contentment is going to vary from person to person.

[davelj]

[quote=scaredycat]sounds like the ultimate goal is to repress your way to happiness….[/quote]

As much as I’d like to agree with you here – and I love the catchiness of “repress your way to happiness” (that’s very good) – I think it’s more of a trade-off issue, as opposed to a repression issue. (Although one could also argue that’s a distinction without much of a difference. But I digress.)

For example, most married men are probably happy in their marriages the majority of the time. Most also want to get some strange occasionally. But for many in this group, the repercussions of getting caught would be too damaging. So, the trade-off is: I will not cheat and risk getting caught – thus making me miserable occasionally – in exchange for keeping my marriage in tact, in which I’m happy the majority of the time.

Trading occasional misery for a state of frequent contentment is perfectly logical. Which is one more reason – aside from financial and other reasons – that some men stay married.

And, obviously, the spectrum of time spent in misery vs. contentment is going to vary from person to person.

[scaredyclassic]

i was just thinking out loud. I don’t actually believe that’s true, possible, or even suggested by tohers comments. But, i like the idea of a shifting ratio of misery to contentment. When the ratio gets toxic, you can hang on, but only for so ong. as long as the ratio is acceptable, not even all that great, you’ll probably hang in there. i think even a 50-50 ratio is not bad, i’d say when it’s greater than 75%, it starts to get troublesome for most guys. i think women have much mroe ability to adjust the level than guys do. i think there may be some biologcal basis for that. i do not at all believe that “if only men would wake up and do/say/be X, then she wouldn’t be miserable.” I believed that at one time, but I will never be so persuaded again.

in general, i think ther eis something intrinsic with our culture where women feel almost required to screw w/ guys minds. it’s visible at an early age.

[scaredyclassic]

i was just thinking out loud. I don’t actually believe that’s true, possible, or even suggested by tohers comments. But, i like the idea of a shifting ratio of misery to contentment. When the ratio gets toxic, you can hang on, but only for so ong. as long as the ratio is acceptable, not even all that great, you’ll probably hang in there. i think even a 50-50 ratio is not bad, i’d say when it’s greater than 75%, it starts to get troublesome for most guys. i think women have much mroe ability to adjust the level than guys do. i think there may be some biologcal basis for that. i do not at all believe that “if only men would wake up and do/say/be X, then she wouldn’t be miserable.” I believed that at one time, but I will never be so persuaded again.

in general, i think ther eis something intrinsic with our culture where women feel almost required to screw w/ guys minds. it’s visible at an early age.

[scaredyclassic]

i was just thinking out loud. I don’t actually believe that’s true, possible, or even suggested by tohers comments. But, i like the idea of a shifting ratio of misery to contentment. When the ratio gets toxic, you can hang on, but only for so ong. as long as the ratio is acceptable, not even all that great, you’ll probably hang in there. i think even a 50-50 ratio is not bad, i’d say when it’s greater than 75%, it starts to get troublesome for most guys. i think women have much mroe ability to adjust the level than guys do. i think there may be some biologcal basis for that. i do not at all believe that “if only men would wake up and do/say/be X, then she wouldn’t be miserable.” I believed that at one time, but I will never be so persuaded again.

in general, i think ther eis something intrinsic with our culture where women feel almost required to screw w/ guys minds. it’s visible at an early age.

[scaredyclassic]

i was just thinking out loud. I don’t actually believe that’s true, possible, or even suggested by tohers comments. But, i like the idea of a shifting ratio of misery to contentment. When the ratio gets toxic, you can hang on, but only for so ong. as long as the ratio is acceptable, not even all that great, you’ll probably hang in there. i think even a 50-50 ratio is not bad, i’d say when it’s greater than 75%, it starts to get troublesome for most guys. i think women have much mroe ability to adjust the level than guys do. i think there may be some biologcal basis for that. i do not at all believe that “if only men would wake up and do/say/be X, then she wouldn’t be miserable.” I believed that at one time, but I will never be so persuaded again.

in general, i think ther eis something intrinsic with our culture where women feel almost required to screw w/ guys minds. it’s visible at an early age.

[scaredyclassic]

i was just thinking out loud. I don’t actually believe that’s true, possible, or even suggested by tohers comments. But, i like the idea of a shifting ratio of misery to contentment. When the ratio gets toxic, you can hang on, but only for so ong. as long as the ratio is acceptable, not even all that great, you’ll probably hang in there. i think even a 50-50 ratio is not bad, i’d say when it’s greater than 75%, it starts to get troublesome for most guys. i think women have much mroe ability to adjust the level than guys do. i think there may be some biologcal basis for that. i do not at all believe that “if only men would wake up and do/say/be X, then she wouldn’t be miserable.” I believed that at one time, but I will never be so persuaded again.

in general, i think ther eis something intrinsic with our culture where women feel almost required to screw w/ guys minds. it’s visible at an early age.

[CBad]

Please. The all women/men are bad argument is tiresome. Perhaps you’ve never had a good woman in your life and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry. There seem to be several men on this board who either fit this category or are exceedingly whiny in general. Women are not here to screw with guys’ minds. People, both men and women, do play games but hopefully they learn to grow out of it at some point in their lives. Some don’t. Don’t continue to date or marry those kinds and either they’ll learn or be lonely. If you continue to run into significant others of this type, start directing that critical finger at yourself.

[CBad]

Please. The all women/men are bad argument is tiresome. Perhaps you’ve never had a good woman in your life and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry. There seem to be several men on this board who either fit this category or are exceedingly whiny in general. Women are not here to screw with guys’ minds. People, both men and women, do play games but hopefully they learn to grow out of it at some point in their lives. Some don’t. Don’t continue to date or marry those kinds and either they’ll learn or be lonely. If you continue to run into significant others of this type, start directing that critical finger at yourself.

[CBad]

Please. The all women/men are bad argument is tiresome. Perhaps you’ve never had a good woman in your life and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry. There seem to be several men on this board who either fit this category or are exceedingly whiny in general. Women are not here to screw with guys’ minds. People, both men and women, do play games but hopefully they learn to grow out of it at some point in their lives. Some don’t. Don’t continue to date or marry those kinds and either they’ll learn or be lonely. If you continue to run into significant others of this type, start directing that critical finger at yourself.

[CBad]

Please. The all women/men are bad argument is tiresome. Perhaps you’ve never had a good woman in your life and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry. There seem to be several men on this board who either fit this category or are exceedingly whiny in general. Women are not here to screw with guys’ minds. People, both men and women, do play games but hopefully they learn to grow out of it at some point in their lives. Some don’t. Don’t continue to date or marry those kinds and either they’ll learn or be lonely. If you continue to run into significant others of this type, start directing that critical finger at yourself.

[Author]

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