going broke on 300K/year

[CA renter]

[quote=CBad]Well said, PKMAN.

And if she didn’t work, the husband would have just been paying more alimony and child support.

And just maybe if she hadn’t worked or worked part time and had focused on putting her husband and children first, the divorce wouldn’t have happened. Just speculating. As a mother, I simply cannot understand the point of having children if this is what your life is like with them. Someone else does the bulk of the child care (and I’m sure always has since birth, infant, toddler, and preschool years) and you assist in taking them to activities and watching them perform sometimes. What’s the point? Get a dog. Plus, when did she ever spend time with her husband throughout this daily schedule? Not surprising that it ended in divorce. Lots of women HAVE TO work just to make ends meet for their family but she wasn’t one of them. I bet the husband’s new wife pays a lot more attention to him and his needs. Again, just speculating….[/quote]

And herein lies every intelligent, educated woman’s dilema…

On one hand, you have all the people who say you should stay home and take care of your kids and husband. However, doing so will **permanently** affect what you will be able to earn if/when you should ever choose or NEED to go back to work. I’d guess most (but not all) women would absolutely prefer to take care of their families, but are rightfully afraid of becoming one of those “desperate” 40+ divorcees with an “8% chance of remarriage.” Oh, and she’ll get the “gold-digger” and “parasite” labels attached just for good measure.

On the other hand, women who choose to work are accused of being inattentive wives and mothers. They lose out on so much of their childrens’ lives, have less time to devote to their marriages, and they are forced (believe it or not) to hire more people to help with all the work — cleaning, child care, etc. Then, when their husbands leave them for the REAL gold-diggers (the ones who come on the scene **after** he is making good money) people accuse them of all sorts of nefarious things because they still need help if they are working and taking care of the kids/home.

Contrary to what women have been told for many decades, we really **CANNOT** “have it all.”

Not sure what the answer is, but many of these responses upset me. The woman is NOT a gold-digger, as she probably makes more money than most posters on this blog. She is NOT be a “kept” woman (BTW, a “kept” woman is a whore/mistress who is financially supported by the a$$hole who is cheating on his wife).

From what I see, it looks like the husband is the winner in all of this, as he was able to find a “new wife” — the woman with whom he will probably have more children, and then complain that his first family is sucking him dry. Sorry, no sympathy for him (or anyone like him), either. He never had his income-earning potential stalled by pregnancy, childbirth or child-rearing, and he’s considered a “good dad” if he works long hours to make more money for his family. Naturally, he deserves lots of “guy time” when he’s not working, because he works so hard.

[CBad]

Women can “have it all” over the course of their life. The problem is when they want it all at once. I disagree that you are permanently damaged when you leave the work force. That can be true with certain professions and obviously there may be a period of catching up. But I’ve known too many women who went back to work successfully or even went back to school or work part time while their kids were in school or after they left home and it led to successful careers. Would they have been further ahead had they worked the entire time? Yeah, maybe. It’s a trade off. I returned to the the work force when my kids were school aged but to a very flexible work from home programming job. Had I not left, would I be in management by now? Maybe (though I have zero desire, just trying to make a point). Heck if that were true I may have been laid off by now too. And my salary did not decrease going back, it increased because the pay scale had increased while I was out. I know I’m lucky in regards to my experience leaving/re-entering the work force but I’m not out of this world lucky. All I know is work or no work, my husband and kids are #1 and if the priorities shift and work shifts near the top….bye bye work.

And I really can’t comment on the husband’s role in all of this since he’s barely in the article. I’m sure he’s not without blame but there just isn’t any info. to go on. Typically though I find women are more apt to be irrational about a house and keeping up appearances for themselves and their children than men.

[CBad]

Women can “have it all” over the course of their life. The problem is when they want it all at once. I disagree that you are permanently damaged when you leave the work force. That can be true with certain professions and obviously there may be a period of catching up. But I’ve known too many women who went back to work successfully or even went back to school or work part time while their kids were in school or after they left home and it led to successful careers. Would they have been further ahead had they worked the entire time? Yeah, maybe. It’s a trade off. I returned to the the work force when my kids were school aged but to a very flexible work from home programming job. Had I not left, would I be in management by now? Maybe (though I have zero desire, just trying to make a point). Heck if that were true I may have been laid off by now too. And my salary did not decrease going back, it increased because the pay scale had increased while I was out. I know I’m lucky in regards to my experience leaving/re-entering the work force but I’m not out of this world lucky. All I know is work or no work, my husband and kids are #1 and if the priorities shift and work shifts near the top….bye bye work.

And I really can’t comment on the husband’s role in all of this since he’s barely in the article. I’m sure he’s not without blame but there just isn’t any info. to go on. Typically though I find women are more apt to be irrational about a house and keeping up appearances for themselves and their children than men.

[CBad]

Women can “have it all” over the course of their life. The problem is when they want it all at once. I disagree that you are permanently damaged when you leave the work force. That can be true with certain professions and obviously there may be a period of catching up. But I’ve known too many women who went back to work successfully or even went back to school or work part time while their kids were in school or after they left home and it led to successful careers. Would they have been further ahead had they worked the entire time? Yeah, maybe. It’s a trade off. I returned to the the work force when my kids were school aged but to a very flexible work from home programming job. Had I not left, would I be in management by now? Maybe (though I have zero desire, just trying to make a point). Heck if that were true I may have been laid off by now too. And my salary did not decrease going back, it increased because the pay scale had increased while I was out. I know I’m lucky in regards to my experience leaving/re-entering the work force but I’m not out of this world lucky. All I know is work or no work, my husband and kids are #1 and if the priorities shift and work shifts near the top….bye bye work.

And I really can’t comment on the husband’s role in all of this since he’s barely in the article. I’m sure he’s not without blame but there just isn’t any info. to go on. Typically though I find women are more apt to be irrational about a house and keeping up appearances for themselves and their children than men.

[CBad]

Women can “have it all” over the course of their life. The problem is when they want it all at once. I disagree that you are permanently damaged when you leave the work force. That can be true with certain professions and obviously there may be a period of catching up. But I’ve known too many women who went back to work successfully or even went back to school or work part time while their kids were in school or after they left home and it led to successful careers. Would they have been further ahead had they worked the entire time? Yeah, maybe. It’s a trade off. I returned to the the work force when my kids were school aged but to a very flexible work from home programming job. Had I not left, would I be in management by now? Maybe (though I have zero desire, just trying to make a point). Heck if that were true I may have been laid off by now too. And my salary did not decrease going back, it increased because the pay scale had increased while I was out. I know I’m lucky in regards to my experience leaving/re-entering the work force but I’m not out of this world lucky. All I know is work or no work, my husband and kids are #1 and if the priorities shift and work shifts near the top….bye bye work.

And I really can’t comment on the husband’s role in all of this since he’s barely in the article. I’m sure he’s not without blame but there just isn’t any info. to go on. Typically though I find women are more apt to be irrational about a house and keeping up appearances for themselves and their children than men.

[CBad]

Women can “have it all” over the course of their life. The problem is when they want it all at once. I disagree that you are permanently damaged when you leave the work force. That can be true with certain professions and obviously there may be a period of catching up. But I’ve known too many women who went back to work successfully or even went back to school or work part time while their kids were in school or after they left home and it led to successful careers. Would they have been further ahead had they worked the entire time? Yeah, maybe. It’s a trade off. I returned to the the work force when my kids were school aged but to a very flexible work from home programming job. Had I not left, would I be in management by now? Maybe (though I have zero desire, just trying to make a point). Heck if that were true I may have been laid off by now too. And my salary did not decrease going back, it increased because the pay scale had increased while I was out. I know I’m lucky in regards to my experience leaving/re-entering the work force but I’m not out of this world lucky. All I know is work or no work, my husband and kids are #1 and if the priorities shift and work shifts near the top….bye bye work.

And I really can’t comment on the husband’s role in all of this since he’s barely in the article. I’m sure he’s not without blame but there just isn’t any info. to go on. Typically though I find women are more apt to be irrational about a house and keeping up appearances for themselves and their children than men.

[CA renter]

Here’s an excellent speech by Elizabeth Warren, author of “The Two-Income Trap” and who, coincidentally, is the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel.

link to book:

It’s a longer speech, but she hits on many of the things we discuss here.

link to speech:

I don’t have time right now, but will dig up the statistics that show how handicapped women are when they stay home to take care of their families. Again, I stand by my assertion that women cannot have it all, and that their income-earning capacity is absolutely **permanently** affected by having children.

[CA renter]

Here’s an excellent speech by Elizabeth Warren, author of “The Two-Income Trap” and who, coincidentally, is the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel.

link to book:

It’s a longer speech, but she hits on many of the things we discuss here.

link to speech:

I don’t have time right now, but will dig up the statistics that show how handicapped women are when they stay home to take care of their families. Again, I stand by my assertion that women cannot have it all, and that their income-earning capacity is absolutely **permanently** affected by having children.

[CA renter]

Here’s an excellent speech by Elizabeth Warren, author of “The Two-Income Trap” and who, coincidentally, is the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel.

link to book:

It’s a longer speech, but she hits on many of the things we discuss here.

link to speech:

I don’t have time right now, but will dig up the statistics that show how handicapped women are when they stay home to take care of their families. Again, I stand by my assertion that women cannot have it all, and that their income-earning capacity is absolutely **permanently** affected by having children.

[CA renter]

Here’s an excellent speech by Elizabeth Warren, author of “The Two-Income Trap” and who, coincidentally, is the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel.

link to book:

It’s a longer speech, but she hits on many of the things we discuss here.

link to speech:

I don’t have time right now, but will dig up the statistics that show how handicapped women are when they stay home to take care of their families. Again, I stand by my assertion that women cannot have it all, and that their income-earning capacity is absolutely **permanently** affected by having children.

[CA renter]

Here’s an excellent speech by Elizabeth Warren, author of “The Two-Income Trap” and who, coincidentally, is the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel.

link to book:

It’s a longer speech, but she hits on many of the things we discuss here.

link to speech:

I don’t have time right now, but will dig up the statistics that show how handicapped women are when they stay home to take care of their families. Again, I stand by my assertion that women cannot have it all, and that their income-earning capacity is absolutely **permanently** affected by having children.

[Aecetia]

As a long time working woman, I have to agree. You cannot have it all. Something will suffer, whether it is how you interact with your family, quality time with your husband, house and yard care, or even time to take care of yourself. Unless you have a lot of money and can pay someone to do the things you do not have time to do or your relatives (usually your mother) take up your slack with the kids, you will not do it all and all will suffer including your job. Someone said it earlier, something has to give. Hats off to the working women who look like they are doing it all. Even Michelle Obama has her mother helping to raise the girls to give them a more normal family life. I think she is wise to do it and what I have read about Mrs. Obama’s mother, she sounds like she is grounded and has good commonsense.

[Aecetia]

As a long time working woman, I have to agree. You cannot have it all. Something will suffer, whether it is how you interact with your family, quality time with your husband, house and yard care, or even time to take care of yourself. Unless you have a lot of money and can pay someone to do the things you do not have time to do or your relatives (usually your mother) take up your slack with the kids, you will not do it all and all will suffer including your job. Someone said it earlier, something has to give. Hats off to the working women who look like they are doing it all. Even Michelle Obama has her mother helping to raise the girls to give them a more normal family life. I think she is wise to do it and what I have read about Mrs. Obama’s mother, she sounds like she is grounded and has good commonsense.

[Aecetia]

As a long time working woman, I have to agree. You cannot have it all. Something will suffer, whether it is how you interact with your family, quality time with your husband, house and yard care, or even time to take care of yourself. Unless you have a lot of money and can pay someone to do the things you do not have time to do or your relatives (usually your mother) take up your slack with the kids, you will not do it all and all will suffer including your job. Someone said it earlier, something has to give. Hats off to the working women who look like they are doing it all. Even Michelle Obama has her mother helping to raise the girls to give them a more normal family life. I think she is wise to do it and what I have read about Mrs. Obama’s mother, she sounds like she is grounded and has good commonsense.

[Aecetia]

As a long time working woman, I have to agree. You cannot have it all. Something will suffer, whether it is how you interact with your family, quality time with your husband, house and yard care, or even time to take care of yourself. Unless you have a lot of money and can pay someone to do the things you do not have time to do or your relatives (usually your mother) take up your slack with the kids, you will not do it all and all will suffer including your job. Someone said it earlier, something has to give. Hats off to the working women who look like they are doing it all. Even Michelle Obama has her mother helping to raise the girls to give them a more normal family life. I think she is wise to do it and what I have read about Mrs. Obama’s mother, she sounds like she is grounded and has good commonsense.

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