Citibank “Beats” Estimates…..Dear U.S. Taxpayers (a letter from shareholders you should be receiving) …..

[Coronita]

Here’s a letter that all U.S. taxpayers should be receiving from citibank shareholders very soon. I’ve been tasked with helping them draft it……

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Dear U.S. Taxpayers,

This has been the moment we’ve been waiting for…Citibank earnings.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Citigroup-posts-apf-14954572.html?sec=topStories&pos=main&asset=&ccode=

Citigroup posts “better-than-expected” results
Citigroup posts loss to common shareholders of $966 million, but revenue soars to $24.8B …..

(GE also beat expectations too)

This has been sort of a nerve racking game for some of us Citibank shareholders. After sustaining major losses end of last year in the equities market, this run up of Citibank from less than $1 to where it currently sits today makes up for a nice “equities bailout” that some of us were counting on you, the U.S. Taxpayers, to provide.

Forget about the fact that Citibank lost money, or that this was a crap shoot roulette picking, or that this isn’t and indication of Citibank’s road to recovery, or that Citibank’s “earnings” is indeed “Shitybank”.

As shareholders of Citibank (which is a TARP recipient), we thank each and everyone one of you U.S. Taxpayers (including ourselves…we already patted ourselves on the back) who made this “better-than-expected” result possible. Because without TARP, without you, and without your generous support (as forced down your throat as it was) Citibank would have never received the liquidity it needed to achieve this “better-than-expected” result.

You might be perplexed why you were forced to make an interest free loan to Citibank for the purpose of explicitly propping it’s equity, solvency, and it’s shareholders…..Now you can begin to see the fruits of your generous, interest free contributions to the U.S. Government

…But don’t worry….Approximately 30-40% of our short term gains from Citibank equities will be returned by us to you in the form of higher taxes next year…. which the government will, in turn, reuse to replenish TARP so that these “better than expected” results can continue.

However, this leaves some of us U.S. Taxpayers who are shareholders in such an interesting predicament.

While as America is so enraged with Madoff-like Ponzi schemes, this particular predicament that the Fed created is ironic…..
1. Taxpayers fund TARP
2. Citibank receives TARP
3. Citibank posts “better than expected” earnings because of TARP
4. Equities “appreciate”
5. Taxpayers that are shareholders sell equities, locking in profits
6. Taxpayers’ profits (taxed 30-40%) are reinvested into TARP by the U.S. government

Normally, circular money flows created for the purposes of generating on the surface “profits” are called “Ponzi schemes”. However, we suppose legalized Federal Ponzi schemes as described above are sound investment choices.

Anyway, thank you U.S. Taxpayers for your generosity.

Sincerely,

Citibank Shareholders

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[34f3f3f]

Does anyone actually know the extent to which TARP, changes in the way accounting is now reported, and the moratorium on foreclosures contributed to recent quarterly results? Are we talking about the difference between big losses and a profit? Where did TARP funds sit in the accounts, and how did they effect profitability? If it was a loan, then it sits on the balance sheet as a liability. If it was attributed to cash reserves, that presumably it sits on the other side of the balance sheet, but I don’t see how it could contribute directly to the profit and loss account, except for interest earned.

[34f3f3f]

Does anyone actually know the extent to which TARP, changes in the way accounting is now reported, and the moratorium on foreclosures contributed to recent quarterly results? Are we talking about the difference between big losses and a profit? Where did TARP funds sit in the accounts, and how did they effect profitability? If it was a loan, then it sits on the balance sheet as a liability. If it was attributed to cash reserves, that presumably it sits on the other side of the balance sheet, but I don’t see how it could contribute directly to the profit and loss account, except for interest earned.

[34f3f3f]

Does anyone actually know the extent to which TARP, changes in the way accounting is now reported, and the moratorium on foreclosures contributed to recent quarterly results? Are we talking about the difference between big losses and a profit? Where did TARP funds sit in the accounts, and how did they effect profitability? If it was a loan, then it sits on the balance sheet as a liability. If it was attributed to cash reserves, that presumably it sits on the other side of the balance sheet, but I don’t see how it could contribute directly to the profit and loss account, except for interest earned.

[34f3f3f]

Does anyone actually know the extent to which TARP, changes in the way accounting is now reported, and the moratorium on foreclosures contributed to recent quarterly results? Are we talking about the difference between big losses and a profit? Where did TARP funds sit in the accounts, and how did they effect profitability? If it was a loan, then it sits on the balance sheet as a liability. If it was attributed to cash reserves, that presumably it sits on the other side of the balance sheet, but I don’t see how it could contribute directly to the profit and loss account, except for interest earned.

[34f3f3f]

Does anyone actually know the extent to which TARP, changes in the way accounting is now reported, and the moratorium on foreclosures contributed to recent quarterly results? Are we talking about the difference between big losses and a profit? Where did TARP funds sit in the accounts, and how did they effect profitability? If it was a loan, then it sits on the balance sheet as a liability. If it was attributed to cash reserves, that presumably it sits on the other side of the balance sheet, but I don’t see how it could contribute directly to the profit and loss account, except for interest earned.

[Rt.66]

Funny, sad and true:(

[Rt.66]

Funny, sad and true:(

[Rt.66]

Funny, sad and true:(

[Rt.66]

Funny, sad and true:(

[Rt.66]

Funny, sad and true:(

[Author]

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