Your observations are still missing some things, Dave.
It’s just a very high percentage of those 50% who don’t play around and many of those who do but quit(like Tiger), could still venture out one way or another. I used to participate in a men’s closed door discussion group and I heard a lot about it from some pretty homely dudes.Going to a prostitute is “cheating” for a person in a committed monogamous relationship, right? Going to a socially lower but otherwise willing woman? Anyone can do those things as far as I know? Trust me the guys who really want some variation don’t say “no, I guess not, because the only choices I have are prostitutes .” Being gay in a heterosexual commitment doesn’t stop someone from cheating either. It might increase the likelyhood?
A lot of people find a way to satisfy themselves that a variety of partners doesn’t add up to much. Usually we play the field and decide we want to settle down,hopefully choosing well. Many people find going from one to the next a shallow, not so soulful existence.You can get your tires slashed too. So as the temptation doesn’t go away either does this attitude/belief that the grass is not greener.
The men who respect monogamy do it because:
They gave their word that they would not play around and they have more to lose,including a high quality relationship/life experience if they do. While we are human we do not see that simple sexual conquests are going to add up to a tangible reward, compared to the arrangement we entered and share. Just seems of many possible “mature” paths to take, none of which are perfect.
There is no reason to convince a spouse that there are not temptations because she would be ridiculously naive to think otherwise. Also, if the spouses agree on anything it is none of anyone elses business. Why would anyone think otherwise?
Having one’s cake and eating it too may be possible but one shouldn’t overestimate the likely-hood that he would be the one to pull it off. Even if the partner agreed to share, trouble would often come of it.
It’s not a matter of denying yourself what you “want”. It’s saying “I want this more than that. No different than saying “I want to be healthy more than I want a completely self-indulgent diet”, even if are surrounded by an amazing smorgasbord of desserts.
