You are living above median spending $800/month on groceries at Whole foods, you comment on unsavory areas for $1500/month rent and hence choose Rancho Bernardo at $2000/month.
Amen to this. I believe that your tithing is a personal choice, and I don’t want to get into that debate. But goodness — $800 per month for groceries?!?! You’re asking our opinion about whether you’re doing something wrong. For me, I’d say emphatically that your living expenses are excessive. How far DO you live from work that you have to pay so much in gas?
I think that you need to look at what it is that you’re really trying to accomplish and set your priorities. If your priority is to shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, then do so, but that may mean that you sacrifice savings that could go toward a housing down payment. The good news is that time is on your side, but in the meantime, you could be saving a LOT more. You really have to look at what you can afford realistically. There are people who make $30K and have 5 kids. They have to feed their families. Whole Foods for them is not an option. And it may not be for you. It’s not an option for you at this point any more than the purchase of a million dollar home is. It’s your choice.
I also use http://www.thegrocerygame.com, and I spend less than $300/month on groceries (for a family of two – one parent and child). Honestly, the addition of a third person shouldn’t raise the grocery bill too much more because there are rarely small quantities sold for two people only. Also, look at how much you’re spending on things like laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, etc. Maybe you can save on those items, and still make the most important purchases (meats, produce, etc.) at Whole Foods.
Also, I’d agree with everyone that you need to check the auto insurance rates. You didn’t mention your ages, but I have a “new-ish” (2005) Toyota Highlander and pay about $800/year on auto insurance.
Finally, I hear you on renting a place in the right area, but again, it’s a matter of choice. I rent in a good school district, but I rent a two bedroom place at about $1,500. Would I “like” a third bedroom? Yes. Can I afford it? No.
For comparison’s sake, my base is a little less than yours (89K) plus a bonus. So we’re in the same range. You just need to think about what you want…
Remember… it’s your choice. The market will turn around, and your story — as a gainfully employed middle-class business owner who can’t afford to buy — is one illustration of why it will. You just need to make the right choices so that you’ll be ready when the next SHOE DROPS.
