There’s no reason to move to “the coasts” in order to live a happy existence as a gay person. Every medium to large city in the U.S. has an active gay community.
Take a look at the Union Tribune online sometime and read the comments that are made whenever there’s a story about gay issues. You’ll find lots of uneducated, mean-spirited opinions. Here’s a great example from the other day:
For the most part, the comments are no different from what you’d find in Oklahoma City.
San Diego is like most American cities: More liberal and diverse in the center of town; more conservative and less diverse as you get farther out of the city.