There’s a lot that sucks about living in San Diego including traffic and the cost of living. However, a positive aspect is the multi-culturism. Although it’s not Fargo, ND these areas (Carmel Valley, Encinitas) are homogenous by SoCal standards and you lose the benefit of interacting with people from different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds.
There are nice parts of San Diego (RP for example), Escondido, and Chula Vista that have nice neighborhoods, good schools, and are culturally diverse. They’re typically cheaper too.
Ultimately however, my number one suggestion reverts to the first sentence; live as close to work as possible to minimize your driving time.
