[quote=squat250]All the bragging is based on fear and insecurity.
What are we afraid of? Failure. Death. Inability. Lack of capacity to reproduce successfully?
I came up with a brief list of attributes this morning before breakfast that might be worth bragging about, other than grades or athletic achievements?
.does your kid give a crap about others
Do they enjoy their day?
Do they have a sense of duty? Of purpose?
Are they flexible?
Are they capable of real attachments/
Do they have a true friend?
Do they love?
Are they fun?
Funny?
Do they laugh?
Are they anxious?
Are they resilient?
Do they take care?
Are they interested?
Are they independently minded>
Are they incessantly comparing themselves to others?
Do they have a hobby?
Can they stand to hang out with you/ can they bear to talk to you? Does your mere voice fill them with a sense of dread and anxiety?
Are they faithful? Kind? Respectful?
Do they take themselves way too seriously?
Is he enlightened?
At breakfast my wife shot down my list. Basically, she said, parenting, it’s about getting them out on t heir own, and able to make decent money so they can support themselves and others. She was probably being contrary and independent minded..if I had spouted her position originally, i bet she would have come up with an even longer list liek mine…
….i am not sure exactly what is necessary and what is sufficient, what is optional and what is essential…I do feel strong urges to bragabout my kidsrecent high AP scores…i can see that it is insecurity, that i am hoping it all translates into a better life for him. But will it? Who the hell knows? Does it matter? probably no more than him having qualities off the list above…probably much less…
Do tiger moms in buddhist countries worry about how much faster and deeper their kids enlightenment is?
“you will meditate four hours tonight! You cannot get into a decent temple with your half-assed meditation![/quote]
That’s an excellent list, scaredy.
Like others here, I’ve known kids from very, very affluent families who never amounted to anything (or worse). From everything I’ve seen, there is no correlation between happiness and wealth once one has enough money to take care of all their needs and some few extras.
IMHO, success is all about perspective. Those who are always trying to “move up” in life are never satisfied with where they are. OTOH, there are many very “average” middle-class people who are perfectly happy with their spouses, jobs, and general lot in life. Which one is more “successful”?
