Sorry to hear of your very involved family issues, UCGal. It has to be a drain on all family members, and I hope it can be resolved soon.
It’s nice to hope your kids will be there for you when you need them, and we hope ours are, but, going forward, I think many young people are going to have a challenge taking care of themselves, let alone their parents or grandparents, so it’s still no guarantee. Even if they end up staying at home forever, the money still has to come from somewhere.
We’ve been extreme about saving for retirement, and I tell friends and family that you really want to have a seven-figure retirement plan, (and very careful estate planning) because, as the OP illustrates, health care costs alone will be astronomical. It’s just better to be safe than sorry.
