So, it is not hypocrisy, but two opposing forces working? That requires explanation. In your words, you need to finish that particular thought. The truncated version you just tossed out there doesn’t get it, and leaves more unanswered than answered. In other words, a dodge.
I don’t think you’re a pedophile. At least, I hope you’re not. What is the fascination with altar boys (regardless of size)? Is it that corruption of the innocent (which smacks somewhat of a rather predatory approach) you voiced earlier, or is there something else lurking there?
My wife is a converted Presbie. She converted to Catholicism (of her own accord, I certainly did not push in that direction).
I get the sense that the “dearest” is a nose tweak. I could be wrong, of course.