[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]
OK, I think I wasn’t clear in my original question. I agree that saying “please” takes the edge off a command, and of course, it’s perfectly fine to throw it in there. My question is more along the lines of whether saying “please” converts it from a command to a request.
So for more context (and this is what I was thinking), let’s say that the sentence:
“Please sign this form and return it to me.”
…was issued to a client. I am not my client’s boss (the opposite is true, if anything). And to address citydweller’s distinction, let’s say that this is to accomplish an already agreed-upon goal. Citydweller would indeed say that putting please effectively converts it to a request (which was my question). But it still seems to me a little bossy for that particular relationship. I would personally be more comfortable with a request, eg “Could you sign this form and return it to me?”
I guess what I’m looking for is: if everyone feels the way Citydweller does, then I am just wrong on this (which would be perfectly fine by me). But if even a few people read it the way I do, then to err on the side of politeness caution one should use explicit requests.
Sorry about the lack of clarity in these posts. And thanks for the replies.
