[quote=sdduuuude]I think the use of please is acceptable even when giving a command. It says “yes, I’m the boss, but I’m not an asshole.” I guess, some people put a “please” in a command to be facetious, but I think most of the time it is done in good faith and takes the edge off the command.[/quote]
Agreed. Sometimes, commands are necessary, even if we don’t like them, and saying “please” means that the person making the request/command is trying to be as polite as possible.
Of course, one of the first things that came to my mind when reading your post was how I speak to my kids. There is no way I would say, “would you please consider cleaning your room today?” Perhaps that makes me a bad parent, but I would say, “please clean your room,” and wouldn’t think twice about it.
If I’m at a friend’s house helping to prepare dinner and my friend were to say, “please hand me that pan,” I wouldn’t think it was rude at all, quite the contrary, as she might have said, “give me that pan,” which would have been rude (unless we’re very comfortable and just need to keep things short due to time constraints, etc.).
Like Russ said, though, if the thing being requested is something that only benefits the requestor, it would be best if he/she said, “Would you mind doing XXX, please?” That would be better. 🙂
