[quote=njtosd][quote=NicMM]
njtosd, complimenting a friend is not like granting a trophy to the winner of a competition. It is sad to think that way.
NicMM[/quote]
I think another poster used the word “contorted” with respect to your analysis, so I won’t bother. I don’t choose or maintain friendships based on how people look. I don’t really comment much on people’s appearance because it doesn’t make a big difference to me. And I don’t tell people they are pretty, or great at kayaking, or anything else just to make them feel good. Do I mention it sometimes? Absolutely. Do I think it should matter a lot? No. What’s sad is to put that much importance on appearance, especially at the age of most on the people on this board (and Facebook).[/quote]
It’s not contorted.
And here’s what I had said in my previous post…
[quote=CA renter]
FWIW, I’m not lying when I compliment other women (or men). I think that all people are beautiful, each in his/her own way. We don’t all need to look like some stereotype in order to be attractive and appealing to others.[/quote]
To which you responded…
[quote=njtosd]Beauty is a relative term – to say everyone is beautiful makes it meaningless.[/quote]
Saying, “people are all beautiful, each in his/her own way,” is not the same as saying that everyone is universally and equally beautiful. Some of us are genuinely able to see beauty in many different ways. Though I would have to ammend my comment to say that nearly all people are beautiful in their own way, as there are a few people in this world who truly are not beautiful in any way (especially on the inside)…I just try to avoid those people at all costs.
You might not be the type of person who likes to compliment others, whether on looks or anything else. But that doesn’t mean that the people who do so are being disingenuous or “trying to prove the depths of their own enthusiasm.” I think you’re being a bit too cynical about the motivations of other people.
For the record, the definition of beauty:
beauty
[byoo-tee]
Synonyms
Examples
Word Origin
noun, plural beauties.
1.
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
It’s not superlative or comparative; it’s not even relative to many people. A person can look at a tree or a butterfly or a cloud and think that it is beautiful without having to compare it to anything else. Some people derive pleasure from many things in life, and they might consider those things to be “beautiful.” Beauty is subjective, though, and some are clearly not able to see the beauty in most things. I think that’s sad.
