Njtosd, it’s not that the husband is necessarily looking to dump his family or anything, but to force your spouse who is perfectly happy to move is asking a bit much when you’ve met in your current location and have been raising your children near family all these years.
I’m in the same boat as NYmom’s husband, but on a more local scale. Bought a house in SD in the late 90s only because it was near the bottom of the market and I wanted to sell it a few years later to get a bigger downpayment to buy a place up in LA. Commuted between the two cities (weekends here, rented a room from friends up there) for over 1 1/2 years. Then, met my DH and got engaged. He has an excellent job down here and never wanted to move back to LA, so we had to stay in SD. I have always wanted to move back to LA, but know that it wouldn’t be right to force my DH to do that, and we don’t even have any family down here like NYmom does back east. So I do understand both sides, but think that her husband is asking for too much of a sacrifice from NYmom and her family, including their kids.
In your case, it sounds like you were both on the same page which makes it a very different situation, IMHO.
But NYmom will probably appreciate your input after all we’ve said here.
