MYMom, if you don’t live in the same neighborhood as the shops where you want the shopkeepers to “get to know” your kids and instead have to “hop in the car” to get to these shops, the shopkeepers will likely not see your kids often enough for them to remember them if you do your errands while they’re in school, IMO.
Your kids are young yet. You really have little control over so many things they will encounter as they get older, especially in HS (9th) grade or “Senior HS” (10th grade) and beyond. Yes, even where you currently live. Unless you are willing to home school them thru the 12th grade or send them to a rigorous “college prep” private HS (religious or not), they will adopt the culture of their “peers” in HS, whatever that may be. As a parent who will eventually have public high-schoolers (if that is the route you choose), you will often have to “go with the flow” to let your kids “find their way.” They need to be prepared socially for college as well, where they will encounter so many more situations that they will have to make decisions about without you. Your kids will not be able to succeed in a large public university and could become homesick fast and possibly drop out if they cannot adapt to the fast pace and the other students. They will need to: make new friends quickly in a much bigger pond than their HS; advocate for themselves with their academic advisors (esp in CA with budget cuts adversely affecting public university offerings and programs); approach clubs to join them; submit their resume for an on-campus job (if they wish to work on campus) and interview for that job; rush fraternities or sororities the 2nd/3rd week of school; and, try out for athletic teams, etc. They have to be willing and able to let a lot of things roll off their back and keep going.
I know all this seems far into the future for your kids but I’m “ranting” a little here because I’ve seen the effects firsthand of children who have been too cloistered by their parents (not saying that’s the situation with your family). These kids literally cannot function by themselves and at the age of 18-plus-one-minute (hopefully if already finished with HS), they tend to flee their family home to live out their ‘inner wild child.’ Especially the ones who have been prohibited from sleepovers and watching most TV programs, had their (non-smartphone) cellphones blocked except for select numbers, had all their clothing chosen by mom, been prohibited from “dating” or going out with friends, been prohibited from holding down a part-time job, had their internet usage heavily filtered and/or timed, had a 10:00 pm curfew at the age of 17, etc…. ‘Nuff said.
Hundreds of thousands of HS Seniors successfully graduate from CA public HS’s every year with their A-G reqs (for CA public university entrance) met or exceeded. About 55% of them are accepted into CA public universities and the rest begin attending a CA community college, a trade school or private vocational college, an out-of-state and/or private university/college or go on into the military.
NYMom, you don’t need to lose any sleep over changing your kids’ environment. Believe me when I say here that I understand the position you are in so I’m now with FlyerInHi (brian) in that you should let your spouse decide where he wants to move to since he is already familiar with SoCal (since he is from here?) Have HIM give you a “short list” of places to consider. Maybe near where his brother lives?? You don’t want be the one to blame if your new city/town isn’t really what he wanted to live in but he signs up for it, anyway. Then take the other advice here from SDRealtor and flyer? to just rent here your first year or more and see how you both like it. Your kids will like it if you are both happy. You can always buy a house later, when your oldest kid is entering middle school (if they’re going to enroll in public school).
