Quote:
Please do not panic. All is well. Even though we are sad and disheartened to have to tell of the tragic news of the untimely death of President John McCain due to an as yet unknown cause after only one month of being sworn into office we are confident in presenting Sarah Palin; our new President and Commander in Chief of the US Military. She is in charge.
Moscow, several minutes later.
“What of this Palin woman?” asked Putin.
“Here is the dossier, sir.” replied the aide.
“READ it to me, man.” Putin snapped angrily as he re-occupied himself with an effete half-dressed young man in make up.
“Yes sir, immediately.” said the aide. He cleared his throat and read loudly; stiffly, from the dossier.
“Sarah Palin is a failed ex beauty-queen, and a former local sports reporter. The barest of education and credentials. Her entire political resume consists of:
2 terms on the Wasilla, Alaska City Council in the 1980s, when the population was something between 4,000 and 5,000 people,
a term as part-time mayor of Wasilla.
She was the Governor of Alaska for 20 months, and rode to the Republican nomination on the back of the scandals that destroyed the re-election chances of the incumbent, Frank Murkowski. She was elected Governor with less than 50% of the vote.
She has NO foreign policy experience.
She has NO national domestic policy experience.
She has NO stance on Trade.
She has NO national economic policy experience.
She has shown no experience in education or health care.
When asked once whether she was interested in becoming Vice President, she said she couldn’t answer that until somebody explained to her what a Vice President does.
She is a Christian fundamentalist, an ardent believer in creationism, and proponent of introducing creationism into the science curriculum in public schools.
She used to lead Christian Fellowship prayers before sporting events in her high school.
She was a PTA…”
“ENOUGH.” Screamed Putin. Quiet followed.
“And what of their general state now? How has that changed?” Putin probed.
The aide, nervous as to give the right answer to an uncertain question, continued “Well, sir… not much has changed. The department heads and advisory staffs have virtually stayed the same. They kept the one they call Skeletor and this woman will most likely keep the economic advisor which came with McCain. The one they call Graham. He hates the American worker as much as you do so they are essentially on the ropes like they’ve been for years now and are ever closer to the border off bankruptcy…”.
The aide was silenced with a wave of Putin’s hand.
Leaving the boy, he put on his shirt and slowly, steadily walked around the large room. Then he laughed. A loud long laugh. Seemingly endless to the nervous aide. The young boy lay still, not caring. When silence came again to room he quietly spoke.
“Get me my map”.
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