[quote=lpjohnso]I think you have posted some great questions. We live in 1400 sq feet, 3/2 (with vaulted ceilings and a medium sized backyard) and we have 2 young boys. It is great for us. Any larger and there would be more to clean, heat, cool and buy.
We have been to those lovely 3000 sq ft model homes in Temecula for the same price as our place, and while it is tempting to “move up”, we believe less is always more. We want to have more quality, not so much quanity. We took our 1990s 1400 sq ft home and were able to remodel in a way that we would have never been able to financially do to a 3000 sq ft home. And everyone is right, the vaulted ceilings/open layout make a HUGE difference. I lived in a 3400 sq ft house in Vegas and it felt like a claustrophobic maze.
I don’t like the thought of getting a larger home to accommodate the kids and more stuff only to have the kids move out one day. I think it would feel too big and lonely. So then, people may say, just down size to a smaller home when the kids are gone. I wouldn’t want to do that because I would love to stay in the same house as my kids did growing up. I would love them to be able to “come home” with their family one day to all of the memories of the house that they grew up in. I never had that. We moved around constantly. That kind of stability and nostalgia is very attractive to me.
Having a decent sized backyard has been great for the kids, especially in my lazy days when I don’t feel like going anywhere but I can open up the back door and the kids can still get there vitamin D and wiggles out. I would much rather have a smaller home and a larger back yard. That’s really were the kids want to be anyways.
Our boys have shared a room and we have kept the 3rd bedroom as a play room/guest room. It has been great. I believe my kids have grown closer because of it. I have a friend who desperately wants his 2 boys to share a room because he did with his brother growing up and they are extremely close, but unfortunately his wife is not going for it. My mother grew up on a ranch in an 800 sq ft home with 3 other siblings who all shared 1 room and they all turned out great. WIth that said, just last week my oldest (he’s 6) declared he wanted his “own” room and so we moved him into in the play room/quest room. So, it has been great to have an additional room in case the kids really want to be separated, but funny thing is, now my 3 year old is sleeping next to the 6 year old in the new room. Lol! They really do prefer being by each other, but we’ll see how that goes as they continue to grow older.
My advice to you and yours: stay in your home in Encinitas, make it the best you can, and add on and open up the ceilings or walls if you feel like you need to. :)[/quote]
Thank you Lpj!
Wow…I’ve been waiting to mention this topic I started with the wife because people keep chiming in with such great thoughts and I want to go over everything with her together when we have a moment. I’m pretty sure when we do she’s going to think I wrote your post to prove a point…it is just so in line with so many things I believe in.
The reason I started the topic is because I do not want to be naive and think that my way is always the right way. I want to be open minded about possibly being wrong and I wanted to hear from people that have been there and their experiences which is exactly what you shared and so appreciated here. I’d love to have my kids come back with their kids one day and show them the home they grew up in. I like the idea of sitting on the same porch and holding my grandkids the same way I currently hold my son with him crawling around and just being so curious about the world as is the stage he’s in right now. Maybe I’m just a big softy in that sense or have a bit of nostalgia since I was the one that moved around a lot as a kid. My parents got a divorce (as do many) and both were constantly moving around with dad always upgrading simply because he could and mom just struggling to keep a roof over her head by doing whatever it took to do so. I remember how my brother and I love top ramen and sunsets because it reminds us of being young with mom and we did not understand the gravity of those two things until talking with her recently. I mean..of course everyone loves sunsets (or at least most), but it was crazy to have her tell me how it was the only thing she could afford for a while there and she wanted to make us smile. The amazing part is how we did not even realize how broke she always was until recently when she mentioned it. We actually had a blast trying to improve the top ramen with our own ingredients and spices not realizing till we were older that it’s one of the least expensive items in the store. I think there is a little hidden lesson there that our children often have no idea how rich or poor we might be and that it does not matter to them until they get older…what a shame it is that this belief is lost sometimes as we grow up and start comparing each other to our friends, collegues, etc. On the other hand my wife’s parents pretty much live in the same home she grew up in. I think I might have admired her families simplicity and structure as something that might help her to believe that more is not necessarily better. That her being raised the way she was might help our children one day because we can both agree that less is often more and the difference between what a need and a want are.
allright…enough from me. I guess I got a little carried away there, but I just really appreciate that you took the time to add to this topic and speak from your experiences on it. I appreciate everyone’s comments, but I feel yours just really hits home on this one for me. Thank you!
