I am Chinese, am a doctor, play the violin in the La Jolla Symphony, rock climb, drive a Honda, and have thick glasses. Yet I can also socially hang with the best. Thanks, mom.
My mother, an immigrant from Hong Kong, was pretty strict, and I will never forget the first really deep conversation I had with her when I was 10 years old. What I got out of it was that it wasn’t about getting straight A’s and being the best violinist in the orchestra, but that excelling academically unlocks doors. Good grades-> good college -> better job selection-> professional and financial freedom. Music lessons teach self-discipline which is useful for studying as well as the rest of your life.
A huge difference with my Chinese mom is that she encouraged me to socialize, play sports, as well as get good grades and practice violin and piano. She arranged sleepovers at our house for my sister and me, took us shopping, and taught us how to apply makeup. Looking pretty and having good social skills go a long way in any profession. Again, more opportunity for success.
Consequently, I am a commitment-phobe (what if I lose some options because I committed to something?!?). I got lucky with an awesome husband but haven’t been able to commit to purchasing a house or my own medical practice. I don’t own any pets. Not even a houseplant. So maybe I didn’t turn out exactly the way Mom intended, but the part-time doctor/rock climbing/violin thing works for me, so we are both happy. She even likes my non-Asian husband.
