I agree with you that my actions were offensive, selfish, malicious, intrusive, and very immature. They could have created a dangerous situation for this innocent family.
This behavior is completely the opposite of how I normally am and was caused by some extraordinary circumstances. As soon as the circumstance ended, I was able to think clearly, realized what I was doing and how wrong it was, and immediately stopped.
I wrote the family a 3 page letter expressing how sorry I was for my behavior and the impact it had on them. I insisted on paying all of their out of pocket costs up front. I wanted to do more to make amends, but at that point it was all I could do.
I have already received very serious consequences (public humiliation, termination, astronomical attorney costs, and 2 years of absolute terror from the legal process). Please don’t interpret this as whining or complaining….I accept that my actions warranted significant consequences. I just want to point out that experiencing dismay about my behavior (to the point of being suicidal) and receiving punishment occurs long before being sentenced. I truly wish I could be whipped in the public square (like the old days) so I could have a punishment that would only affect me. The only thing prison would do is to deprive my terminally ill husband and disabled daughter from their only caretaker.
I appreciate your giving me a chance to explain. And I realize there is no explanation that would make my behavior acceptable. It’s even difficult for my behavior to be understandable unless you experienced the circumstances I did which were the underlying cause of my actions.
