I agree with most of what you said, but there’s an important point to consider with respect to HOA fees. The only money truly “lost” in your HOA payment is the money paid to the property management company to manage the whole process (the “friction”). The other money goes toward maintenance, insurance, etc. These are all things you will have to cover yourself if you own a detached home.
Some people think “condos are horrible because you have to pay an HOA and if I own a home I won’t have to pay it.” That’s technically correct, but economically incorrect. If you own a home you’re going to have to pay for regular maintenance (painting, roof, etc.), insurance, yardwork (unless you do it yourself), etc. There’s no free lunch. The only difference between paying condo HOAs and paying for all the “stuff” related to owning a detached home is that in the latter case you pay as you go (and the payments are “lumpy” over time) and you don’t have a property management company siphoning off 15% of the payment for compensation.
Personally I prefer the HOA, even with the “friction.” It gets directly debited from my checking account each money and I just don’t even have to think about any of it. I’m more than happy to pay for the convenience of not having to bother with it. But that’s just me.
