Good discussion, A lot of life’s fulfillment , by design , has to come on separate terms. We are not clones. Separate but not aloof is about right at times, plain old fashioned together is good. Sometimes together and aloof is necessary ,no big wall building ,show respect on decision making …keep your promises wherever you go until and unless you undo them first .
I think it’s less about “baggage” and more about deep inner qualities.
Be careful that the baggage thing is not too much about paranoid score keeping and greed for face saving and being able to paint some kind of phony picture for yourself , your family and friends and the world.