FWIW the keeping up with the jonses mentality around here isnt close to what you see on the east coast (where I grew up also). People out here may think so but they dont have the experience growing up back there and raising kids here that I do. When I go back and see nieces and nephews there I am glad I got out.
If you want lots of young families you most likely will have to go to the newer areas. You will sacrifice lot size but that is where all your peers are.
OK…now get ready for the resident lunatic to come in and warn about the evils of planned communities, homeowners associations and Mello Roos.