[quote=davelj][quote=jstoesz]
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
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I disagree with most of this. The intention of most marriages, if folks are being honest with themselves, is to “lock down” the other person; to take them off the market, so to speak, so that they’re not running around with other people. Now, more often than not, both people want to have kids and they want the other person as a partner in this venture. But the whole thing can viewed as fairly selfish, frankly – “You’re mine now.” “Creating something greater than one’s self”, “to provide man some semblance of purpose in life”? I suppose there are folks out there that feel this way, but… I find this notion completely bizarre. You need to have a spouse (and/or kids) to have purpose in life? Beyond bizarre. Now if you said that helping other people in some profound manner – which has nothing to do with marriage and kids – might engender some sense of purpose in one’s life, then o.k., I’ll buy that. But I wouldn’t put marriage into that category.
Do you honestly believe that your marriage is creating “a unit geared toward making the world a better place”? You cannot be serious. Look, I hope you have a happy union, self fulfillment, and nice kids, etc. But, for christ’s sake… making the world a better place through your marriage?… please. That’s one of the more pretentious things I’ve ever read here at the Pigg. And that’s saying something.[/quote]
Maybe I can put this in other terms that you can relate to, hedonistic terms. A happy marriage is one of the best ways to improve one’s life. Its also one of the easiest ways to better one’s children’s lives. Study after study shows that men in successful marriages and children born into them are happier and healthier.
I was speaking philosophically, I do not wake up ever morning and get a high five from my wife because we are “a unit geared toward making the world a better place.” Or put a banner over our driving way saying, “you can thank us for making the world a better place.” But when I sit back and think on why I decided to get married, I would point to this as the main reason.
I am also not talking about some lofty way of making the world better, like curing cancer or ending world hunger. It only has an effect on the very few people that are around us, the more immediate the more profound, and that to me is an ok start.
