[quote=CA renter][quote=Russell][quote=Arraya]Non-breeders should be encouraged and commended. Straight and homosexuals alike.[/quote]
Straight people should get more credit for not breeding than homosexuals.
That staying single is selfish makes no sense to me unless it is coming from a mother who wants to be a grandmother for any reason including selfish ones.
Also, how does a parent come to feel like they gave up their happiness to have children?[/quote]
Agree with dave’s point that having children has a negative environmental impact.
As to the point about selfishness, a parent gives up money, time, and the ability to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They often give up many of their dreams and aspirations for themselves, professionally and personally, when they decide to have children (if you devote the time and energy necessary to properly raise your kids…people always have the option of having nannies raise their kids, I suppose — but that still requires a significant financial sacrifice).
I’d go so far as to say it’s not necessarily “marriage” that makes marriage difficult, but the sacrifices that have to be made once the couple decides to have children. If not for the repercussions of divorce after children (hurting the children, greater financial distress on both sides, logistics of remarrying with kids, etc.), I’d bet the divorce rate for couples with kids would dwarf the divorce rates for DINKs. It really takes a tremendous amount of money, time, energy, etc. to raise kids.[/quote]
I think it is a trade-off not selflessness ,You sacrifice, but it is only one thing for another according to choice. Then the question is; was it a good trade-off or a bad one? As long the basics are covered, missing the money or the other opportunities is just a personal conflict…it’s optional to worry about that stuff…nobody can have everything. Many single childless people forgo money and career for different more suitable things and pursuits.
4-plex makes sense, a man or woman, out of necessity or nearly inescapable conventions, could have had to raise children they didn’t really want many generations ago, but not now.
I agree that there are huge obligations to the children once they are brought here without first having asked them what they thought about the idea, but some of these arguments sound like they belong in the “parent as victim” category. They sound awful. My biggest concern is whether or not my kids will regret that we brought them here. If so, I would feel it was very selfish indeed to have been a parent. After the fact, having a career or going out dancing, have practically no relevance by comparison.
