[quote=AN]
You still didn’t really answer my question. Would you kick out your kids if they’re deadbeat? I know plenty of people who live with their parents until they get married and are not deadbeats.[/quote]
I’m not Eaves… but I’ll answer for myself on this.
I know plenty of folks who live with their parents and aren’t deadbeats either… they work and/or go to school, they help with household duties. That’s a symbiotic relationship. Family working together…
Deadbeat by definition is a parasite… someone who takes, but doesn’t contribute. I’ve seen lots of grown kids in their 20’s who fit that definition. Any money they earn is 100% theirs. They eat the free food, have mom do their laundry, they don’t help with the day to day running of the household (financially or by doing chores.). In fact I dated a guy like that – at age 32 he was still living at home and had no concept of what it was like to pay utility bills… when he was laid off he was unwilling to get himself to interviews if there was the slightest bit of inclement weather… We broke up because I was unwilling to be his mommy.
We have a nephew who’s 31 and living with his folks. He’s working on his 2nd PhD in History as a way of avoiding getting a real job. He’s divorced because his ex-wife got tired of supporting him. (He got married in grad school – while still on the parents dime.) She was going to school and working… but he couldn’t be bothered to get a job.
So… would I kick out a deadbeat (by my parasitic definition)… Yes. It would be painful, but I’d do it.
But I’m hoping to raise my kids NOT to be deadbeats. They contribute now – even in 2nd and 4th grade. Chores are done… which helps them be part of a household AND gives them skills for when they’re on their own.
Would I kick them out if they were working towards goals and contributing to the household… No. I’m a big fan of extended family working together. Heck we wouldn’t have built the granny flat if I weren’t… But it should be a symbiotic relationship – not a parasitic one.
