Agreeing with the others here. I’ve seen similar family dynamics more than once.
I especially agree with this bit from the previous post
[quote=eavesdropper]And I don’t know whether it’s an option, but if you can forget about the “inheritance” aspect, and just concentrate on working out how your mom is going to live for the remainder of her days on the assets she has, it may make it less complicated for you. Make sure that you include a variety of scenarios, such as what happens if your mother suffers a broken hip that requires skilled nursing care for 2 or 3 months as opposed to an incapacitating stroke that could rapidly eat up all her assets (I wouldn’t count on your brother providing in-home care, no matter what he says). Also, find out what your mother’s state rules are regarding tapping into the assets of her children to pay for her care, and also her assets.
Best of luck to you. Your instincts are spot-on: don’t trust your brother.[/quote]
Too often families get torn asunder fighting over inheritance that they feel “entitled” to.
I’m waiting for the drama when my in-laws pass… a few of my siblings in law have already made hints that they expect there to be significant wealth. (No idea where they get that idea, seriously!!!) And they’ll be even more surprised when they learn it’s not divided equally but based on need. Why get upset… it’s my in laws money to do with as they see fit.
It’s a lot easier to concentrate on your mother’s needs if you take inheritance out of the picture and worry about her needs first. It can be challenging to get all the parties on the same page, though.
