[quote=CA renter][quote=bearishgurl]Yes, it was the right decision, CAR. I now have a pension and a generous healthcare allowance until I die. I also have another small pension and investments. I divorced in CA (a community property state) and thus everything we owned got split down the middle. I am thankful we made good investments, had no debt but mortgage debt and lived well below our means. I am very thankful for all the decisions we/I made in the past.

I hope none of your “well-educated” friends who opted to throw their degrees away to stay at home have to try to dredge up their (now dated) degree they haven’t used in years and actually try to sell it to a prospective employer in attempt to survive. Especially if they wait until they are 50-ish to do so.

I don’t believe your “highly educated friends” would only keep 30 cents on the dollar of their wages if they worked FT. Especially those who were making $100K+ before they decided to quit and stay home. That seems very low to me. Without identifying anyone, can you furnish a breakdown of their former salaries and expenses which caused them to keep only .30 on the dollar?

It doesn’t cost that much to work. Even an attorney can buy dress suits at a consignment shop for pennies on the dollar. I have kid(s) in SF who buy (expensive-when-new) designer duds and shoes/boots in those places regularly. Believe it or not, attorneys actually ride the bus and trolley to work (at $72 mo), brown bag their lunches most days and have their own “coffee station” in their offices. That is just an example of a full-time San Diego area professional’s lifestyle. Yes, many have minor kids. Like everyone else, their children also have relatives, day camp, horse camp, overnight camp, home daycare, pre-K, spouse on a slightly different schedule and so on. They make it work to continue their chosen careers without interruption.[/quote]

You really need to read this book, BG.

And while it’s great that you would brown-bag it and ride the bus everyday to work, while keeping your kid in after-school care, most professionals don’t do that.

Again, what you chose for yourself is NOT what’s best for everyone else…whether about housing, career decisions, child-rearing, etc.[/quote]

Actually, most “professionals” do. My kids’ daycares and after-school care centers were full of “professional parents” picking their kids up.

My kid is currently going to college out of county with two kids they have known since they were in pre-K together! Both have/had “professional” parents (one is now retired). My kid’s dad is a “professional.”

FWIW, I never rode the bus to work. I drove every day because I did errands on my lunches and after work. And I never lived very far from work. I don’t know if I would drive today, however, because parking cost has increased 1000% in some cases. If my employer didn’t pay for parking, I would probably take the trolley.

So CAR, I take it then that your “friends” (who purportedly only netted .30 on each dollar of their wage) commuted long distances alone in a vehicle and bought their lunches every day? If so, those expenses add exponentially to the cost of showing up for a FT job 4-5 days per week … especially a job paying <$50K. That choice plus the daily frustration of commuting long distances is a function of deciding to live too far from work (or work centers) ... another unwise decision if the parent(s) expect to be able to consistently keep earning a decent salary month after month and year after year.