[quote=eavesdropper][quote=frenchlambda] Yes I feel emotionally attached to the property but the reason I want to keep it is really the practical aspect. I think that it would be extremely disruptive to my daughter if I move. After all, that’s her house too. If I move, I will end up renting an 2-bdr apartment in the same area that would cost me probably around $1,500 month, more than what the mortgage would cost me. The place is close to my work, it has good schools around and everything about it is convenient for me. [/quote]
I’m going to refrain from responding to the remainder of your email, but feel compelled to address the issue you raise above.
I do see your point about your daughter, but unpleasant relations with your in-laws and ex-wife over money will prove to be MUCH more disruptive to your daughter than any move could be. There is a lot going on in this situation, and I’m sure that everyone’s emotions are running high. It sounds as though you have many reasons to be upset and angry, but I’m strongly advising you to work on letting it go. Otherwise, it WILL affect your daughter in a negative way. Newly-divorced parents think that they can keep their feelings to themselves, and that their children will not notice, but they are wrong.
If you can find a manageable way to refinance the property and pay off your in-laws, do so. BEFORE you withdraw the money from your 401K, be sure to (1) thoroughly check out tax/penalty information with IRS, and (2) work out a plan for repayment. If you cannot make payments on your CURRENT salary, do not borrow the money. Leaving a house voluntarily is a lot less traumatic than being forced out by foreclosure.
It will be much better for your daughter if you disengage yourself from all monetary obligations to your ex-in-laws. Bonne chance, et meilleurs vœux pour votre nouvelle vie.[/quote]
GREAT advice! 🙂 I totally agree with it. It sounds like you have a handful with the divorce and having a child, etc. But I totally agree with eavesdropper that the best thing to do is “disengage yourself from all monetary obligations” from your in-laws as Eavesdropper wisely pointed out.
It sounds like you have a steady job now and can manage and afford the refinance. No one likes cashing out retirement savings or paying penalties but I think in this situation it’s the best thing. Besides, you’re not talking about huge sums of money on the amount you will need to cash out of your retirement.
Best to consult an accountant but see if your situation qualifies you for any hardship exemptions on the penalty amount.
It sounds like you didn’t want to get the loan from the in-laws but the point is that you did. That’s the only thing that matters now. Plus, the added fact that as a part of the terms of your divorce settlement was to refinance the mortgage which it sounds like you agreed with.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I didn’t know kids were involved but I agree with what eavesdropper said and move on from the situation.
It seems like it would be the healthiest moving forward for your daughter as well.
