Tired of doing the right thing…need advice

[patientrenter]

CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter]CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.[/quote]

PR: My grandma came here from Germany in 1935 with my dad and uncle. She left because she hated what she was seeing there, especially the book burnings (she was a teacher) and loathed the people there that were telling her to be a “good German” (don’t question, just follow orders and the crowd).

She was a firm believer in Edmund Burke’s dictum, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.

While this situation isn’t quite that dire, it does illustrate the frustration and loneliness of being someone who believes in having a moral compass and moral center and sticking to your principles regardless of what the crowd is doing. There are a lot of times I feel like a schmoe for having done the right thing, when the idiots and criminals who gamed the system are walking away unscathed, but then I realize it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, only what I’m doing and that I have to look in the mirror every day.

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter]CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.[/quote]

PR: My grandma came here from Germany in 1935 with my dad and uncle. She left because she hated what she was seeing there, especially the book burnings (she was a teacher) and loathed the people there that were telling her to be a “good German” (don’t question, just follow orders and the crowd).

She was a firm believer in Edmund Burke’s dictum, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.

While this situation isn’t quite that dire, it does illustrate the frustration and loneliness of being someone who believes in having a moral compass and moral center and sticking to your principles regardless of what the crowd is doing. There are a lot of times I feel like a schmoe for having done the right thing, when the idiots and criminals who gamed the system are walking away unscathed, but then I realize it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, only what I’m doing and that I have to look in the mirror every day.

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter]CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.[/quote]

PR: My grandma came here from Germany in 1935 with my dad and uncle. She left because she hated what she was seeing there, especially the book burnings (she was a teacher) and loathed the people there that were telling her to be a “good German” (don’t question, just follow orders and the crowd).

She was a firm believer in Edmund Burke’s dictum, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.

While this situation isn’t quite that dire, it does illustrate the frustration and loneliness of being someone who believes in having a moral compass and moral center and sticking to your principles regardless of what the crowd is doing. There are a lot of times I feel like a schmoe for having done the right thing, when the idiots and criminals who gamed the system are walking away unscathed, but then I realize it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, only what I’m doing and that I have to look in the mirror every day.

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter]CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.[/quote]

PR: My grandma came here from Germany in 1935 with my dad and uncle. She left because she hated what she was seeing there, especially the book burnings (she was a teacher) and loathed the people there that were telling her to be a “good German” (don’t question, just follow orders and the crowd).

She was a firm believer in Edmund Burke’s dictum, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.

While this situation isn’t quite that dire, it does illustrate the frustration and loneliness of being someone who believes in having a moral compass and moral center and sticking to your principles regardless of what the crowd is doing. There are a lot of times I feel like a schmoe for having done the right thing, when the idiots and criminals who gamed the system are walking away unscathed, but then I realize it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, only what I’m doing and that I have to look in the mirror every day.

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter]CA renter, TG put it very well in another post. People who “do the right thing” are the ones you’d be happy to share a beer with, and that’s about all we can decide to do.

Until now, I have felt quite content to live out my upbringing, which emphasized morals/ethics over minimal legality. I felt that I might lose out a lot in the short run, but only a little in the long run, and the satisfaction of doing the “right thing” made that long term loss OK. But when a very large % of all that I contribute to society (as represented by my earnings and savings) gets transferred to people who acted totally irresponsibly and to my direct detriment, and who lived it up big while I was carefully denying myself lots of goodies, it forces me to re-think.

Can I overcome that moral imperative I was raised with? If I do, the lesson I take from what’s happened is that I can have a great deal more materially. It’s a lousy incentive scheme. I do realize that, as people like me start to make the decision to turn to the dark side, our leaders will be yukking it up about ethics and morals and all that. But when it counted, when decisions had to be made about whether vast amounts of money would be transferred to people who acted irresponsibly, those same politicians said Yes, and screw the Moral Hazard issue. I won’t forget.[/quote]

PR: My grandma came here from Germany in 1935 with my dad and uncle. She left because she hated what she was seeing there, especially the book burnings (she was a teacher) and loathed the people there that were telling her to be a “good German” (don’t question, just follow orders and the crowd).

She was a firm believer in Edmund Burke’s dictum, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.

While this situation isn’t quite that dire, it does illustrate the frustration and loneliness of being someone who believes in having a moral compass and moral center and sticking to your principles regardless of what the crowd is doing. There are a lot of times I feel like a schmoe for having done the right thing, when the idiots and criminals who gamed the system are walking away unscathed, but then I realize it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, only what I’m doing and that I have to look in the mirror every day.

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.

[patientrenter]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….

[patientrenter]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….

[patientrenter]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….

[patientrenter]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….

[patientrenter]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter][quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….[/quote]

PR: Well, I’m going to disagree with your first sentence; from a pragmatic vantage, you’re one of the more grounded voices here (I’d say the same of TG, but I’m still waiting for that TMZ mugshot of his to pop up on the internet).

I don’t know if you’ve had a similar experience, but I’ve seen a lot of folks start going out of their way to not draw attention to themselves. Whether it’s driven by economic necessity or common sense, I see fewer folks driving ostentatious cars and/or clothing and less signs of conspicuous consumption.

People are not discussing money or finances like they did during the boom times and it’s eerie how everyone clams up when money, jobs, the economy, etc comes up in conversation. It’s like Poor is the new Black.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter][quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….[/quote]

PR: Well, I’m going to disagree with your first sentence; from a pragmatic vantage, you’re one of the more grounded voices here (I’d say the same of TG, but I’m still waiting for that TMZ mugshot of his to pop up on the internet).

I don’t know if you’ve had a similar experience, but I’ve seen a lot of folks start going out of their way to not draw attention to themselves. Whether it’s driven by economic necessity or common sense, I see fewer folks driving ostentatious cars and/or clothing and less signs of conspicuous consumption.

People are not discussing money or finances like they did during the boom times and it’s eerie how everyone clams up when money, jobs, the economy, etc comes up in conversation. It’s like Poor is the new Black.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter][quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….[/quote]

PR: Well, I’m going to disagree with your first sentence; from a pragmatic vantage, you’re one of the more grounded voices here (I’d say the same of TG, but I’m still waiting for that TMZ mugshot of his to pop up on the internet).

I don’t know if you’ve had a similar experience, but I’ve seen a lot of folks start going out of their way to not draw attention to themselves. Whether it’s driven by economic necessity or common sense, I see fewer folks driving ostentatious cars and/or clothing and less signs of conspicuous consumption.

People are not discussing money or finances like they did during the boom times and it’s eerie how everyone clams up when money, jobs, the economy, etc comes up in conversation. It’s like Poor is the new Black.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=patientrenter][quote=Allan from Fallbrook]

Plus, I’d rather have beers with you and TG and CA_renter than those clowns any day. You’re a lot more interesting to talk to.[/quote]

Cheers, Allan! You and others have a lot more interesting things to contribute than I do.

I get overly grumpy thinking about what’s happening, so I should put it to the back of my mind. But I will relish the opportunity down the road to pin some of these people who are indirectly but very materially taking advantage of me now. I sure won’t be looking kindly on people who short-saled or f’closed or got loan mods. The money that disappeared in that transaction pretty much came directly out of my pocket. I s’pose that’s why Kelly on Voice of San Diego can’t get people to talk about their loan mods etc. Everyone says “I deserve it, and there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing”, but they also know if the breaks they are getting are too well known, people will be mad. Both points of view can’t be right….[/quote]

PR: Well, I’m going to disagree with your first sentence; from a pragmatic vantage, you’re one of the more grounded voices here (I’d say the same of TG, but I’m still waiting for that TMZ mugshot of his to pop up on the internet).

I don’t know if you’ve had a similar experience, but I’ve seen a lot of folks start going out of their way to not draw attention to themselves. Whether it’s driven by economic necessity or common sense, I see fewer folks driving ostentatious cars and/or clothing and less signs of conspicuous consumption.

People are not discussing money or finances like they did during the boom times and it’s eerie how everyone clams up when money, jobs, the economy, etc comes up in conversation. It’s like Poor is the new Black.

[Author]

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