Tales of an RSF Buyer (Part 3)

[jpinpb]

I’m sure as lucky as she is to have you, you are just as lucky to have someone so patient, as well, and in time, understanding of your caution in making such a major purchase. I also don’t think I said anything derogatory about her, or meant to. I said she’s lucky. That’s a good thing 🙂

I’m sure all your searches will be worth it and in time the just right dream home will come along at the price that makes sense and is worth it. Then you can look back and laugh at all this. Hopefully some laughing now along the way.

[JustLurking]

Raptor,

This is an interesting discussion. You and I have a lot in common. I, too, grew up poor (spent part of my childhood living in a public housing project) and am now shopping in the same price range you are. I put myself through lots of school, got involved as employee #3 at a tiny company that I am now president of. The major difference between us is that I am a woman.

I imagine that my husband would be pretty unhappy if I dragged him through 100 homes and then said we are renting. He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that. But somehow I doubt ANYONE on these boards would call HIM spoiled and whiny and suggest he get a job. I also doubt they would accuse him of spending my money at the beauty salon.

Some of the guys on this board really need to get a clue about women…

[JustLurking]

Raptor,

This is an interesting discussion. You and I have a lot in common. I, too, grew up poor (spent part of my childhood living in a public housing project) and am now shopping in the same price range you are. I put myself through lots of school, got involved as employee #3 at a tiny company that I am now president of. The major difference between us is that I am a woman.

I imagine that my husband would be pretty unhappy if I dragged him through 100 homes and then said we are renting. He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that. But somehow I doubt ANYONE on these boards would call HIM spoiled and whiny and suggest he get a job. I also doubt they would accuse him of spending my money at the beauty salon.

Some of the guys on this board really need to get a clue about women…

[JustLurking]

Raptor,

This is an interesting discussion. You and I have a lot in common. I, too, grew up poor (spent part of my childhood living in a public housing project) and am now shopping in the same price range you are. I put myself through lots of school, got involved as employee #3 at a tiny company that I am now president of. The major difference between us is that I am a woman.

I imagine that my husband would be pretty unhappy if I dragged him through 100 homes and then said we are renting. He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that. But somehow I doubt ANYONE on these boards would call HIM spoiled and whiny and suggest he get a job. I also doubt they would accuse him of spending my money at the beauty salon.

Some of the guys on this board really need to get a clue about women…

[JustLurking]

Raptor,

This is an interesting discussion. You and I have a lot in common. I, too, grew up poor (spent part of my childhood living in a public housing project) and am now shopping in the same price range you are. I put myself through lots of school, got involved as employee #3 at a tiny company that I am now president of. The major difference between us is that I am a woman.

I imagine that my husband would be pretty unhappy if I dragged him through 100 homes and then said we are renting. He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that. But somehow I doubt ANYONE on these boards would call HIM spoiled and whiny and suggest he get a job. I also doubt they would accuse him of spending my money at the beauty salon.

Some of the guys on this board really need to get a clue about women…

[JustLurking]

Raptor,

This is an interesting discussion. You and I have a lot in common. I, too, grew up poor (spent part of my childhood living in a public housing project) and am now shopping in the same price range you are. I put myself through lots of school, got involved as employee #3 at a tiny company that I am now president of. The major difference between us is that I am a woman.

I imagine that my husband would be pretty unhappy if I dragged him through 100 homes and then said we are renting. He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that. But somehow I doubt ANYONE on these boards would call HIM spoiled and whiny and suggest he get a job. I also doubt they would accuse him of spending my money at the beauty salon.

Some of the guys on this board really need to get a clue about women…

[NotCranky]

Nice post Just lurking,

I really like raptorduck too and hope none of my comments are to unseemly no matter how off the wall.

“He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that.”

Isn’t being frustrated different from refusing to talk to or ostracizing? that stuff is just down right hurtful.(I am a sensitive man)

I was in the opposite situation a few year when my wife and I set out to buy a property. I know way more about real estate and how to drive a great deal and speculate but she would get very unhappy with my choices even though I struck a compromise to stay in San Diego and I was building the house and it was my money I made prior to the marriage. We fought, a little, but we knew as long as it was on the table or even if it was off “life goes on”.We are fine several years later of course. We even lived through building our own house together. Raptor’s situation sounds more serious. Unless he is speaking figuratively which I think he is not. I wouldn’t feel right under those conditions.

I agree that the hostility towards Ms. Raptorduck is unwarranted and unkind.

I think the guys around here would give your husband a “high five” in place of the comments made about Ms. Raptorduck!I would.

[NotCranky]

Nice post Just lurking,

I really like raptorduck too and hope none of my comments are to unseemly no matter how off the wall.

“He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that.”

Isn’t being frustrated different from refusing to talk to or ostracizing? that stuff is just down right hurtful.(I am a sensitive man)

I was in the opposite situation a few year when my wife and I set out to buy a property. I know way more about real estate and how to drive a great deal and speculate but she would get very unhappy with my choices even though I struck a compromise to stay in San Diego and I was building the house and it was my money I made prior to the marriage. We fought, a little, but we knew as long as it was on the table or even if it was off “life goes on”.We are fine several years later of course. We even lived through building our own house together. Raptor’s situation sounds more serious. Unless he is speaking figuratively which I think he is not. I wouldn’t feel right under those conditions.

I agree that the hostility towards Ms. Raptorduck is unwarranted and unkind.

I think the guys around here would give your husband a “high five” in place of the comments made about Ms. Raptorduck!I would.

[NotCranky]

Nice post Just lurking,

I really like raptorduck too and hope none of my comments are to unseemly no matter how off the wall.

“He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that.”

Isn’t being frustrated different from refusing to talk to or ostracizing? that stuff is just down right hurtful.(I am a sensitive man)

I was in the opposite situation a few year when my wife and I set out to buy a property. I know way more about real estate and how to drive a great deal and speculate but she would get very unhappy with my choices even though I struck a compromise to stay in San Diego and I was building the house and it was my money I made prior to the marriage. We fought, a little, but we knew as long as it was on the table or even if it was off “life goes on”.We are fine several years later of course. We even lived through building our own house together. Raptor’s situation sounds more serious. Unless he is speaking figuratively which I think he is not. I wouldn’t feel right under those conditions.

I agree that the hostility towards Ms. Raptorduck is unwarranted and unkind.

I think the guys around here would give your husband a “high five” in place of the comments made about Ms. Raptorduck!I would.

[NotCranky]

Nice post Just lurking,

I really like raptorduck too and hope none of my comments are to unseemly no matter how off the wall.

“He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that.”

Isn’t being frustrated different from refusing to talk to or ostracizing? that stuff is just down right hurtful.(I am a sensitive man)

I was in the opposite situation a few year when my wife and I set out to buy a property. I know way more about real estate and how to drive a great deal and speculate but she would get very unhappy with my choices even though I struck a compromise to stay in San Diego and I was building the house and it was my money I made prior to the marriage. We fought, a little, but we knew as long as it was on the table or even if it was off “life goes on”.We are fine several years later of course. We even lived through building our own house together. Raptor’s situation sounds more serious. Unless he is speaking figuratively which I think he is not. I wouldn’t feel right under those conditions.

I agree that the hostility towards Ms. Raptorduck is unwarranted and unkind.

I think the guys around here would give your husband a “high five” in place of the comments made about Ms. Raptorduck!I would.

[NotCranky]

Nice post Just lurking,

I really like raptorduck too and hope none of my comments are to unseemly no matter how off the wall.

“He would have every right to be frustrated and I would totally understand that.”

Isn’t being frustrated different from refusing to talk to or ostracizing? that stuff is just down right hurtful.(I am a sensitive man)

I was in the opposite situation a few year when my wife and I set out to buy a property. I know way more about real estate and how to drive a great deal and speculate but she would get very unhappy with my choices even though I struck a compromise to stay in San Diego and I was building the house and it was my money I made prior to the marriage. We fought, a little, but we knew as long as it was on the table or even if it was off “life goes on”.We are fine several years later of course. We even lived through building our own house together. Raptor’s situation sounds more serious. Unless he is speaking figuratively which I think he is not. I wouldn’t feel right under those conditions.

I agree that the hostility towards Ms. Raptorduck is unwarranted and unkind.

I think the guys around here would give your husband a “high five” in place of the comments made about Ms. Raptorduck!I would.

[davelj]

rich (adjective)
1. having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy.

The one single thing of which I can be certain about someone who can comfortably afford to make a mortgage payment on a multi-million dollar home – as we must surmise raptor can – is that this person is RICH. Now, admittedly, “rich” is a relative term. Raptor ain’t rich compared to Bill Gates, as he points out. But he’s still rich. If you’re in the top one percent of income earners in the United States – as raptor must be, by definition, in order to afford a multi-million dollar home – then you’re rich. Considering that half the world lives on less than $2 a day, I’d say a pretty good portion of the US citizenry is rich in comparison on a global scale. But even here in the rich US, if you’re earning a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you’re rich. Plain and simple. And nothing to be ashamed of about it either.

Although it does beg a question, raptor. I’ve been assuming all along that you had at least $5 million in liquidity, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking to purchase a home in the $3-$4 million range (I think that’s your range, I can’t recall – correct me if I’m wrong). But your previous post suggests that you don’t have much liquidity, which surprises me. Given that you’re a “working man” and have (by definition) considerable expenses related to your “extended family,” would it not be a better idea to perhaps buy something a bit more “affordable” (I use that term in its most elastic sense), say in the $1.5 million or less range? To each their own, but I would think your life would be a lot less stressful if you didn’t have to worry about making such a huge mortgage payment on a working man’s wage (and I’m assuming that wage is at least north of $300K). But, obviously, you know your situation a few thousand times better than I do. I find it a bit curious, that’s all.

[davelj]

rich (adjective)
1. having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy.

The one single thing of which I can be certain about someone who can comfortably afford to make a mortgage payment on a multi-million dollar home – as we must surmise raptor can – is that this person is RICH. Now, admittedly, “rich” is a relative term. Raptor ain’t rich compared to Bill Gates, as he points out. But he’s still rich. If you’re in the top one percent of income earners in the United States – as raptor must be, by definition, in order to afford a multi-million dollar home – then you’re rich. Considering that half the world lives on less than $2 a day, I’d say a pretty good portion of the US citizenry is rich in comparison on a global scale. But even here in the rich US, if you’re earning a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you’re rich. Plain and simple. And nothing to be ashamed of about it either.

Although it does beg a question, raptor. I’ve been assuming all along that you had at least $5 million in liquidity, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking to purchase a home in the $3-$4 million range (I think that’s your range, I can’t recall – correct me if I’m wrong). But your previous post suggests that you don’t have much liquidity, which surprises me. Given that you’re a “working man” and have (by definition) considerable expenses related to your “extended family,” would it not be a better idea to perhaps buy something a bit more “affordable” (I use that term in its most elastic sense), say in the $1.5 million or less range? To each their own, but I would think your life would be a lot less stressful if you didn’t have to worry about making such a huge mortgage payment on a working man’s wage (and I’m assuming that wage is at least north of $300K). But, obviously, you know your situation a few thousand times better than I do. I find it a bit curious, that’s all.

[davelj]

rich (adjective)
1. having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy.

The one single thing of which I can be certain about someone who can comfortably afford to make a mortgage payment on a multi-million dollar home – as we must surmise raptor can – is that this person is RICH. Now, admittedly, “rich” is a relative term. Raptor ain’t rich compared to Bill Gates, as he points out. But he’s still rich. If you’re in the top one percent of income earners in the United States – as raptor must be, by definition, in order to afford a multi-million dollar home – then you’re rich. Considering that half the world lives on less than $2 a day, I’d say a pretty good portion of the US citizenry is rich in comparison on a global scale. But even here in the rich US, if you’re earning a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you’re rich. Plain and simple. And nothing to be ashamed of about it either.

Although it does beg a question, raptor. I’ve been assuming all along that you had at least $5 million in liquidity, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking to purchase a home in the $3-$4 million range (I think that’s your range, I can’t recall – correct me if I’m wrong). But your previous post suggests that you don’t have much liquidity, which surprises me. Given that you’re a “working man” and have (by definition) considerable expenses related to your “extended family,” would it not be a better idea to perhaps buy something a bit more “affordable” (I use that term in its most elastic sense), say in the $1.5 million or less range? To each their own, but I would think your life would be a lot less stressful if you didn’t have to worry about making such a huge mortgage payment on a working man’s wage (and I’m assuming that wage is at least north of $300K). But, obviously, you know your situation a few thousand times better than I do. I find it a bit curious, that’s all.

[davelj]

rich (adjective)
1. having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy.

The one single thing of which I can be certain about someone who can comfortably afford to make a mortgage payment on a multi-million dollar home – as we must surmise raptor can – is that this person is RICH. Now, admittedly, “rich” is a relative term. Raptor ain’t rich compared to Bill Gates, as he points out. But he’s still rich. If you’re in the top one percent of income earners in the United States – as raptor must be, by definition, in order to afford a multi-million dollar home – then you’re rich. Considering that half the world lives on less than $2 a day, I’d say a pretty good portion of the US citizenry is rich in comparison on a global scale. But even here in the rich US, if you’re earning a few hundred thousand dollars a year, you’re rich. Plain and simple. And nothing to be ashamed of about it either.

Although it does beg a question, raptor. I’ve been assuming all along that you had at least $5 million in liquidity, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking to purchase a home in the $3-$4 million range (I think that’s your range, I can’t recall – correct me if I’m wrong). But your previous post suggests that you don’t have much liquidity, which surprises me. Given that you’re a “working man” and have (by definition) considerable expenses related to your “extended family,” would it not be a better idea to perhaps buy something a bit more “affordable” (I use that term in its most elastic sense), say in the $1.5 million or less range? To each their own, but I would think your life would be a lot less stressful if you didn’t have to worry about making such a huge mortgage payment on a working man’s wage (and I’m assuming that wage is at least north of $300K). But, obviously, you know your situation a few thousand times better than I do. I find it a bit curious, that’s all.

[Author]

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